Shankarabharanam...

The other man...

2012-01-26T20:13:00.038+05:30

...of Kannada films!

Ardent kannadigas and kannada movie fans would know whom am referring to. (I hope you can guess!)

He was special,ultra talented with looks that made women swoon,the best among his peers. He was a ladies' man,a natural charmer. He acted in some of the best Kannada movies in 70s and 80s. My earliest recollection of a kannada movie was one of his. What a couple, he and Arathi were! Then there was Nagarahaavu and Vishnuvardhan had arrived!

He had only one problem, he was always second-in-line to superstardom. He was always falling short of that one expectation that set him apart from the greatest of greats, Dr Rajkumar! It was not his fault, it was simply a question of circumstances and timing.

Personally, I loved Vishnuvardhan, his style, his confidence and his charm. He was "Mr Photo" if you like. He epitomised the unique 70s "bell bottoms sidelocks" generation. I hope am not killed by RFC - Rajkumar Fans Club (not Rangers Football Club) the next time am in Bangalore for saying this!. Dr Rajkumar was a phenomenon for sure, but it was Vishnuvardhan that won hearts,especially in movies like "Gandhada Gudi".

I think he was aware he was always going to be the second best only.And yet, he continued to give his best,to his movies, to his heroines and to his fans. He was subtle yet forceful when presented with his chances. And one was swept away into his wonderful world of romantic charm!

And not to speak of his on screen chemistry with Arathi. The two of them were made for each other, somewhat symbolising the best song in their classic "Hombisilu" - "Midiyuva Managalu yeradu, midithada ragavu ondhe" roughly meaning "two hearts that sing the same tune". He,the fair skinned gentleman,she the dusky beauty, priceless!

Although much older, I appreciated his acting skills in "Madikeri Sipayi". His good looks did not come in the way of his serious role, he was able to set that record straight. He was as much a force as he was a charmer!. Throughout his career, he knew how to balance that act.

I am loving writing this blog myself. My friend Sheeja always said "romance is a beautiful subject,it is eternal". I agree with her, with actors like Vishnuvardhan, romance never dies. It takes but one spark to rekindle the passion. And oh,having an Ipod full of old kannada songs helps, certainly on boring Monday afternoons...

A few years ago,on this very day,I was on my two-wheeler in the busy Jaynagar area of Bangalore. This must have been around late 2004,early 2005,maybe. I stopped at a traffic signal and waited. You know how we Bangloreans checkout other vehicles when waiting for the signal to turn green ? I was doing the same to this lovely big white car standing next to me. The car had tinted windows and looked brand new and big. As I was checking it out, the tinted windows rolled down and there I saw him! Yes, Vishnuvardhan,the man himself.. He was dressed in some costume and obviously was on his way for a shoot.

He gave me a big smile,a very human one, a real one! I stayed there,very weak in my knees,wishing the signal did not change.. forever.

In fond remembrance of this "other man" of Kannada movies,on this day, I claim to have listened to the following song, a few hundred times on my Ipod! Thats quite a record for a fan's admiration of an actor like him,what ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME69N8-j7do&feature=related

- Saaveri

(P.S : Dont ask me how I remember the date well,I have a very strange way of remembering events through bizarre associations)

Oh boy, have I changed ?

2011-12-14T04:33:00.004+05:30

I chanced on my blog today while looking for some music review, oh yeah, the one I used to write, almost daily, about 4 years ago! My God,I have changed as a person! I am not the same me who wrote these blogs , or am I ?

So much has changed, it is scary!

Bangalore changed to London and then Glasgow...
Oracle changed to JPM...
Driving to work changed to taking the tube/train..
INR became GBP..
I went from single to married ( having fallen in love too )
Lovely weather gave way to crappy rain!!
Some friends forgot, some became closer, one fought and left me!
Music classes twice a week at Mami's house became Skype lessons!
Cricket became football..erm.. not quite but...
Coming home from work to relax and watch TV gave way to "coming home from work to do more work"...
Salwars and sarees gave way to skirts and trousers..
Bollywood movies, hindi soaps gave way to travel channel and comedy shows..
Not stepping out of Bangalore gave way to travelling all over Europe...

But.. somethings did not change..
My blog is still called Shankarabharanam,one of my favourite ragas!
Carnatic music still makes me want to packup and go back home!
Ustad Rashid Khan's voice still gives me goosebumps!

Maybe I should restart my blogging ?

what the ragas do to me..

2008-06-20T03:33:00.010+05:30

This is an honest attempt tell my readers about a part of me that they probably dont know, atleast a very few of them do.Just a handful maybe. Ok, so Nagu, AG,Vinod, Sharan,Kart and Arati - all of you might want to stop reading here and go back to your lives :)
But if you wish to read my blabber on a topic that is so intimate and personal in nature, you are welcome.

What do the ragas do to me ? I have often wondered. I wonder a lot on ragas,more so now than ever. Travelling on London tubes has taught me this art! Well, to state a fact, RAGAS are REAL, as real as you and me. Let me not get into more of this philosophy lest I bore you to death.

Instead, I will venture to state my exact emotional state of mind( or nearly that) when I listen to certain ragas. In short,I will try to say exactly what I feel or maybe write about what passes through my mind when I think of a raga. Maybe a visual, maybe an emotion, whatever.

Dont laugh at me and my stupid thoughts, for they are real and they make me what am!!
I will try to be as short as I can but at times, please bear with me, things could go out of control!!!

Okie, here i go...

Shankarabharanam - Temple bells ringing in vedic chants and MY BLOG :)))
Thodi - Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavatar singing 'Kaalinishilambu konja..
Madhyamavathi - Brihadeshwara temple gopuram
Kambhoji - Like someone has stirred my heart with a spoon
Sahana - Am on a moving train to Chennai ( it is only Chennai and nowhere else )
Sriranjani - a music sabha at noon in music Academy,Chennai
Keeravani - KVN maama
Anandabhairavi - Lord Krishna flirting with the gopikas
Hamsadhwani - the tuning of a tambura ,maybe an Yesudas concert :) :) because he always sings Vatapi Ganapatim Bhaje hahahah !!
Kharaharapriya - The utsavam of Lord Parathasarathy of Triplicane with the nagaswaram playing 'Rama nee samaanamevaru'
Kamavardhini aka Pantuvarali - Urmila singing 'Hai Ramaa yeh kya hua' in Rangeela,uff.. sorry couldnt help it :) but Pantuvarali really brings out those emotions.
Nattaikurinji - the sound of ghungroo ( obvious isnt it ?)
Sama - Kart singing 'Annapurne Vishalakshi' in KVN maama style! Kart, when can i hear you sing it again ??
Abheri - Balamuralikrishna's tape of Nagumomu that my dad bought for me when we bought our first stereo, one of the most priceless possessions till date!
Khamas - a hindustani recital somewhere on the ghats of Ganga in Benaras
hindolam - the man who shall be mine forever. Romance and love.
Bhairavi - Bangaru Kamakshi of Tanjavur,what a lovely time I had there..
Mohana - The raga Bhoop,yeah.. I remember the Hindustani version of it ,all the time..
Brindavana Saranga - I feel the afternoon sun blazing hot!! yeah yeah.. not sure why but this is how i feel,
Kaapi - happy,happy, happy...( it rhymes too!!)
Atana , Darbar and Nayaki - No feelings at all!!! ( Nagu, you are gonna shout at me I know.. I try hard but sorry yaar,I like these ragas but they dont seem to like me enough!! )
Mukhari - Radha pining for the love of Lord Krishna ( yes, the jayadeva astapadi strikes a cord immediately, haririthi haririthi japathi sakaamam.. and my MOM loves it!! )
Neelambari - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Maand - sands of the desert( influenced by the lovely Kesariya Baalam perhaps!)
Vasantha - July rains in Bangalore when I fall sick all the time.. it irritates me because I love this raga but I cant like it for its memories!)
Desh - Patriotic, you cant feel anything else, can you ??
Kalyani - An orthodox Tamilian girl wearing a pattu pavadai ,hair adorned with 'malli poo' walking along the Kapaaleeshwara Koil in Mylapore(am not being funny at all).
Saaveri - my music sir of yesteryears,Srinivasa Prasanna Sir, the music class, the Tanpura, the room full of students singing 'sarasooda' varnam,me figuring out for the very first time what swarasthanams meant, opening out a whole new world, a beautiful one,most remarakable!!
Dhanyasi - Saint Tyagaraja and Tiruvayyaru, the river and the paddy fields.
Surutti - my Mom, my dear amma, without whose encouragement and persistence, I could never have known music. Her love for me and my music makes me wanna pack up and go back!
Pahaadi - Mountains, folklore,snow-clad Kashmir,old hindi films,freshness,purity and sweet perfumes.
Sindubhairavi - The Ramaseva Mandali concerts that I have attended for years now in my dear Bangalore, Pt Bhimsen Joshi's 'Babul Mora Naihar' Thumri, and more.. But most importantly, I can remember my childhood, me as a kid of three years, my ancestral home, the well, the outdoors we used to play,the Ganesha festival when people came to immerse their idols in the well at our home, and I can remember that the first song I learnt to sing was the devaranama 'Venkatachala Nilayam' in this raga. This raga is special!!

P.S :- The list is endless but as we say, Carnatic music has no end. Nagu, you must be thinking that I have not really listed some ghana ragas.Anand- you must be wondering why I left out Dwijavanthi and Vinod - for you , I must say I spared Nalinakanthi. for that is a raga meant for you alone!!!!

Moving house..

2008-05-31T02:47:00.004+05:30

Finally I made it,to the UK, to London,one of the nicest cities to live(only next to Bangalore!)

I live in London, work in the City, in a big investment bank. It feels nice to say this. It feels great to walk amidst the big boys of world banking. It thrills to walk out of the Bank station (Bank of England which apparently has the world's biggest gold reserves) and step into THE CITY passing by hoardes of faces that think money, plan money and make the world move forward,atleast in some sense.

It feels independent to live alone. To wake up and cook for yourself,take care of locking the house,ironing your clothes,making your lunch and doing the shopping. It taught me the value of my time and my MOM! :)

It feels great to shop in Harrods and Next,thrills to own a blackberry,to pay your bills online.It feels relaxed to get things done easily.

It feels great to converse finance. Derivatives,options,leverage and the sup-prime crisis all sound familiar now,a bit,if not more.. It is a whole new world, away from the abstraction of memory leaks and CPU cycles(though am in a technical job), a new,real world that exists! Finance thrills because it is about two Ms - Mathematics and Money!!

It feels great to spend weekends outdoors, amidst hills and valleys, with calm and quiet all around. It thrills to climb hills and walk miles, to get away from the hassle and get back to the hassle again on Monday mornings..

Life has changed a lot in the last three months and I feel good about it. I am riding on waves of confidence and vigour, energy and enthusiasm.

The sun goes down and am back to my nest,to that little home I have in East London.As I make my dinner,I turn my music on. KVN maama singing 'Annapurne Vishalakshi' reverberates in the one bed flat that I call mine. I listen to this divine piece of carnatic music.. The CITY,the bank,the shops,pubs,restaurants,the hills all fade away to the background. Nothing matters,except the fantastic manner in which maama sings 'kanchana maya bhushanam bharadhare'. The energy,the confidence and the money fade away...All that remains is absolute peace and serenity. Things don't change much ,do they ?

(Look out for my Scotland trip blogs on my travelogue)

D K Jayaraman@Seshadripuram concert series,2008

2008-04-19T22:53:00.013+05:30

A few of my blog readers who are carnatic music rasikas must be wondering what is wrong with me. But they would understand if they attended today's grand and sensational concert by none other than DKJ's greatest disciple himself, Vijay Siva. It was DKJ's spirit and soul that was present in every musical note emanating from Vijay Siva today.
It is a shame that he gets such poor response from the Fort High School grounds,each year. On the contrary,I am glad there is Seshadripuram. Atleast one good sabha that can get crowds for the right kind of musicians. It is not wrong then,that artistes are biased towards Seshadripuram. We all know that music thrives best where it is appreciated the best!

Personally speaking, my association with Vijay Siva's music began in 2002. Very late,compared to the other contemporary carnatic musicians I was listening to then.But,the impact of his music was so strong that soon, I was one of his biggest fans. The most important plus point his music has is its strong adherance to Sampradayam,or tradtional roots! Not to miss the style and diction of that particular school which went on to become the famous 'DKP-DKJ' baani. I appreciate the honesty of this wonderful singer more than anything else. Every concert,be it small or big,important sabha or no,he delivers a Ragam Tanam Pallavi(RTP),arguably the most difficult of any musical form in the universe(this is no exaggeration!). For students of carnatic music,an RTP is a must!

Coming back to today's concert,he began with the shlokam 'Sadaa baala roopapi' followed by 'kari kalabhamukham' in raga 'Saaveri'. He sang it in madhyama kaala thereby setting the mood of the kutcheri perfectly. He followed it with a brisk 'Saamaja Varadaa' in 'Shudda saaveri',naturally with kalpana swarams which were beautifully quick and crisp. The immediate piece was the classical 'Ninnuvina' in 'Purvikalyani'. The beauty of this combination,of two fast kritis with one slower one does have a lovely calming effect on the listener. The next one to follow was the rare 'Nenarunchara' in 'Simhavahini', a beautiful raga by itself. For those of us (in the raga-identification-gang,Sharan,Anand and Vinod and myself in particular) who missed it today, 'Simhavahini' is a janya of 'Charukeshi' with the scale : Sa Ga3 Ma1 Pa Da1 Ni2 Sa and Sa Ni2 Da1 Pa Ma1 Ga3 Ri2 Sa. What followed this one,was a masterpiece 'Nee paada mule gatiyani' in 'Bhairavi'. Obviously,this was the main song of the concert. The alapanam was really heavy carnatic and Charulata Ramanujam was just too good on the violin here. Bhairavi has endless possibilities,it is a personal favourite of mine. It makes me want to give up all my London dreams and just find myself a small house in Mylapore,Chennai. Thats what Bhairavi does to me!! The neraval was for the anupallavi 'panchanadeeshwara..'.Listening to this piece of sahityam repeatedly brought me back to the banks of the river Kaveri(my previous blog post!),right into the town of Tiruvayyaru,the confluence of five rivers,as the song describes!

The tani was excellent and enjoyable, Neyveli narayanan on the mridangam.Unfortunately, I dont remember the ghatam artiste,I have not heard him before. This was followed by the 'Bhajare Bhaja Maanasa' in Kannada. I bvery nice song,I had not heard this before.

What followed now was UTOPIA. An RTP in raga Abheri. I know Nagaraj Mandya is smiling now! Nagu,you would know how much I love this raga. You missed a wonderful nadai pallavi in this superbly sung raga. It was a tishra jati triputa tala with the laghu in tishra nadai and the dhruta in Chatushra Nadai. Oh,it was mind-blowing!! As usual,I struggled in the mel-kaala. However,I am happy to tell you that my taala sense is much better now atleast the keezl-kaala with nadai change. This one was a damn good challenge!! :) :) I could go one writing on this RTP today,but to make ti short,the ragamalika had Mohanam,Thodi and Valaji. The kalpana swarama alternated between mel and keezl kaalam patterns in the tishra and chatushar nadais in two passes. Well, thats the best I could describe the wonder!!
The pallavi went like :- 'Paaka Uruga Nenji Pankaaya Kannan Ninaittu'. I am very sure,I have got the sahityam wrong,partly because it was chaste Tamil and partly because I was trying hard to notate it as he sang and I got too confused big time!!

Soon after the RTP, he sang D K Pattamal's famous 'Intha Cheluvage Magalanu Kottanu' in 'Abheri'. The next one was 'Jayadeva' kavi's ashtapadi 'Radhika Krishna thava Virahe' in ragamalika - Khamas,Vasanta,Mukhari and Shanmukhapriya. The came a 'Sahana' in the form of 'Ini Enna Pechirukkudu'. I dont know much about this one,never heard before. I vaguely remember Sanjay singing it,not sure. Then came a viruttam on Lord krishna accompanied by 'oruthmaghanai pirandu',beautiful,beautiful Behag!

The last one was a tribute to none other than two great personalities, Lord Rama and DKJ. Vijay Siva has always sung something as a tribute to this great guru.Usually,it is a song with this guru's name in it. Today it was the majestic, Yadukula Kamboji kriti of saint Tyagaraja, 'Sree Rama,Jayarama'. I loved the tempo of this song. At that hour in a carnatic concert,when everyone is happy,tired and hungry,a slow paced Yadukula kambhoji can act like a lullaby. Am not kidding, I was falling asleep.

Another noteworthy aspect today was the fact that three of the kritis that he sang had the names of the reigning dieties of very famous temple towns in Tamilnadu. Ninnuvina showerd praises on 'Ekambreshwara' and 'Kamakshi' of Kanchipuram, 'Neepadamule' contained 'Panchanadeswaram' and 'Dharmasamvardhini' of Tiruvayyaru and 'kari Kalabhamukham' had Lord Ganesha of Myladudurai.

All in all,I enjoyed a lot. Vijay Siva is an artiste beyond compare in today's lot. He must be listened to more and more. Bangalorean crowds really need to reprioritise, I feel. It was very disappointing two days ago,to see few people in Fort High School,they missed a wonderful RTP in Anandabhairavi. Anyway,Seshadripuram sabha rocks!!

As goes the famous sanskrit saying, 'Yathaa guru,thathaa shishya', DKJ and Vijay Siva represent gurukulam in its most correct sense.

The day I was reborn...

2008-04-15T23:09:00.006+05:30

Nattai,Saaveri,Thodi,Kalyani,Brindavana Saranga,Revati.....

...from the depths of my brain,someone called out these names in a jiffy..I searched around,wondering to myself, "Who are these people ?", "What business do I have with them ?", "Why do these names sound familiar ?" etc etc.The lights shone bright in the college auditorium,the summer breeze was fresh,dusk was just setting in,the huge open compound surrounding the college was slowly filling in with people, the evening was just about to begin...

...Iyer maami in an orange kancheevaram saree...recording thatha with his usual paraphernalia(some of my readers would know what this means!)...handsome guy in jeans who I met at a gathering last year...little girl with her mom and grandma....
...from the depths of my brain,I could recollect familiar faces,faces spanning over a decade,people who had put on weight,grown older,wiser,taller....

Tha Dhi Thom Nam...Tha Tha Dhi Dhi Nam Nam... Sa-Pa-Sa-Pa-Sa-Pa-Sa...
...from the depths of my brain, faint memories resonate with these primordial tunes of nature,of the decades of music that I have lived in,of a bygone era which I know only through these very tunes,of another life(perhaps in a previous birth),of something in the past that I cannot quite explain,nevertheless connect me to SOMEONE SOMEWHERE for an eternity!

The vocalist clears his voice,the violinist sets his shruti,the percussionists are ready, the tambura drones..Ga Ma Pa Ni Saa Ni Pa Ma Gaa Riiiii... "Nada" resounds from all over,I close my eyes..I can see a clear blue river,pure and pristine,paddy fields around it,scorching sun,bullock-carts,a sandy river-bed where stands a temple gopuram ,a man nearly 500 years old seated at the shrine,holding a tambura and singing 'Jagadaananda Kaaraka'...

from the depths of my eyes,tears flow...

Uncontrollable at first until the "newly-moved-to-London-excited-about-new-job" me takes over ,I return back to my composed self,determined more than ever to enjoy every minute I have in today's Carnatic concert by Sangita Kalanidhi T V Shankarnarayanan and party! Today,I vowed not to be furious over some things,like the kid who is being so noisy that I cannot possibly figure out between Darbar and Nayaki,or the lady to my side who is chatting away( read that as bitching about her daughter-in-law!) to a friend or that noisy bloke on the street who honks while the artiste is singing a beautiful neraval.. Today I figured where the noise lay-for all these years,it lay in my mind!! And I vowed not to be bothered,not now,not forever! I vowed to sit back,relax and enjoy the flight!!

As many of you,my dear readers, are aware, I have recently gone through a career change and for the last few months, I have been so busy that music has been completly neglected. The neglect is a one hundred percent from my side, especially in the last 2 months, when I was looking for jobs in London. I was determined to do my best in the job hunt and hence had abandoned any thoughts of being associated with music in any form until I get a new job. (Music is a distraction for me,it is my biggest weakness perhaps!) I am happy to announce that the ordeal is over, I have gotten a new job and am back now to what I love best.. CARNATIC MUSIC!!! And am in Bangalore for two weeks before I start my new life in London...

Today was officially my first association with a music concert after this horifying gap and it came in the form of a TV Shankarnarayanan Kutcheri in Seshadripuram for Ramnavami. What a start! Before I get back to London, I have a couple of weeks to spare in Bangalore and I could not thank Lord Sree Rama for bringing me over for his birthday party!! Now I understand why the job offer took over a month although the interviews got over very early,in retrospect,the timing was perfect! I was destined to be in Bangalore at this time,this week,this day... The Lord is my Shepherd, hahahaha...

Coming to the facts of the concert,it was brilliant as always. TVS is a vidwan who has enormous energy, his swarams, voice modulation and choice of ragas was excellent.
He brought in his son, the young and talented Shankar Mahadevan to sing at the sabha for the first time and I must say, the lad has a great futue! With a staunch classical voice,sampradayam and diction like his, the boy could give Sanjay a run for his money,perhaps!! ( Not quite :) :) but close)

On the mridangam was Sri Rajakesari and on the ghatam was Sri M A Krishnaswamy,both very good support and superb coordination during the thani. Though, I must say,the mridangam could have been slightly more loud,it seemed very faint and tiring at times.

If you put all the carnatic musicians on one scale of a balance and Sri Mysore Nagaraj on the other, you know what am talking about..Such a brilliant musician,what a style and what a tradition!! The superb sangatis of Thodi and Ravichandrika made a fashion statement!!

I would like to give a run-down on the concert list here..

Gajanana yutham followed by Pranathosmi - Nattai
Baarayya Venkataramana - Saaveri ( Swarams with nice finishing touches that brought out Saaveri raga completly)
Makelaraa Vicharamu - Ravichandrika ( Aalap,Swaram)
Yenduku Dayaraadhu Ra - Thodi ( Alap, Neraval)
Yetavunnaraa - Kalyani ( Alap,Neraval,Swaram and Thani - alap sung by Shankar Mahadevan)
Viruttam - Petravlum Nee in Brindavana Saranga with a brilliant rendition of Kaliyuga Varadhan (somewhere in the banks of Yamuna,I can hear this raga now!!)
Tirupati vasa Venkatesha - Hamsanandi
A viruttam in Revati cant figure out which one followed by a short ragamalika and
Rama Rama Yenniro
Mangalam

I WAS REBORN TODAY....I WAS REBORN TODAY... I WAS REBORN TODAY....

At the feet of master..at the feet of my guru
-Rekha

Symonds and his silent bat :)-

2008-01-19T17:20:00.000+05:30

Sunny Gavaskar said this, not me!

After a two month blocation (read as blog vacation),I am back,writing about a phrase uttered by Sunil Gavaskar,with saracasm-coated sense of humor,I must admit,rarely coming from the likes of someone as professional as Sunil Gavaskar. This was a comment in the post-Perth analysis today. The topic of discussion - ofcourse the authenticity of Andrew Symonds' leg-before decision in today's play. Well,fact remains that India were a shade lucky in this matter,just a little,considering all those wrong decisions in Sydney,it almost seemed like 'What goes around comes around' being enacted by artistes in Shakespeare's 'All the world's a stage'!

True,Symonds was not out,the inside edge of the bat touched the ball, a slight touch,nevertheless a touch,proven by countless number of replays and hundreds of 'inside edge' chants from Harsha,Shastri and all and sundry. Yet,the Little Man clearly said 'It is not the umpire's fault' repeatedly,vehemently denying any explanation and assumed the air of someone who was just about to deliver the TRUTH in a sensational court case. Harsha waited,so did Shastri and I sat on the edge of my seat,curious,just waiting to hear what excellent reasoning could Sunil Gavaskar be giving to this misjudged umpiring.

Then came the response "Ofcourse,the umpire did not hear the thumping edge" followed by "Symonds has a silent bat". The experts went into bouts of sarcastic laughter thereafter. Well, the umpire never hears Symonds' bat because it is a silent one! He did not hear it in Sydney too.......How true!
This is one of the best post-match comments ever made in cricketing history,especially on a day when history was made in world cricket.

Life has come full circle for Symonds and the Aussies. The colors are changing in international cricket,is it really ?

The cherry is red,the uniforms are white,the green is baggy,however the champs are the 'Brown-skinned' 'Men in Blue'!!

P.S:- I once commented to a carnatic music friend of mine that if I were to choose between carnatic music and cricket, it would be cricket!!
Andy,
I planned to write reviews on Malladi Brothers and T M Krishna's concert but....
:) The next post, surely!

Vijay Siva@Nadasurabhi

2007-11-15T10:42:00.000+05:30

Vijay Siva is one of my all-time favourite carnatic musicians and the sole reason being, he is the best exponent of the DKP-DKJ baani today. It takes a seasoned rasika to appreciate his style. The only way I can think of to describe Vijay Siva is thus :- "When he sings, it feels as if one is listening to DKJ" That says it all..

Coming to yesterday's concert,unfortunately, I went an hour late :(
Anyway, the guilt and pain of reaching a concert late vanished the moment I entered the hall,when the words 'Veda Shaastra tatvaartha' echoed across the hall :)- I sat thorugh the niraval and swarams so beautiful, now I don't need to discuss 'Shankarabharanam' and 'Enduku Peddala'

This was followed by Mariyaada Gaadayya in raga 'Bhiaravam', a new one to me. Am glad I knew a new one!(meant to be a tongue twister!)

What followed was 'Bhairavi that brings about happiness',yes an RTP in 'AnandaBhairavi', Mishra jati triputa taalam with Pallavi going thus:- 'Kamalavadanae,Kamaladalanayane,kamala sadanae'. The ragamalika was 'Hameer Kalyani,SalakaBhairavi(?) and Kadanakutoohalam. Charulata Ramanujam deserves a special mention here,superb simply superb!

The next ones were 'Maathadabaaradeno' in Kamas and 'Intha Cheluvage' In Abheri.

The most important piece of the evening was the shlokam 'Maanikya veenam' followed by the song 'Shubaksoja kumbam' on the Goddess. This was a ragamalika with ragas like 'Nalinakanthi(?),Manirangu,Keeravani,Sama and Jaganmohini.

Later he wound up the concert with Muddugare Yashoda(Kurinji), the DKJ trademark Paras Javali 'Chelinenetlu', a mukhari 'Unayenadhu'( not sure about this kriti) and mangalam in his usual style of singing 'Swasthi praja paripalayantham' at the end.

Can someone fill up the songs I missed out in the beginning ?

TNK@ Nadasurabhi

2007-11-13T21:20:00.000+05:30

I just attended a brilliant violin concert of Prof T N Krishnan at the Koramangala Sangeetha Sabha. The most sedate piece of carnatic music ever found in this universe was just created a couple of hours ago. It felt like a boat ride,slow,peaceful,serene and silent. This was the first time I experienced silence in its most musical form. For someone to play 'Niravadhisukha'(Ravichandrika) in the tempo of probably,'Jagadodhaarana' takes a maestro and thats what Prof TNK is all about.

Ok, am not qualified to talk about TNK's music. For me it is just divinity!
I'm qualified however to list the concert :)-

1.Natai - Mahaganapatim
2.Evarani - Devamritavarshini ( The highlight of kriti was the barely audible yet richly musical 'Evarani' rendering of the Pallavi after each stanza.
3.Niravadhisukha - Ravichandrika
4.Sriranjani - Sogasuga ( Most beautiful alapanam I heard in this raga, very unique,sancharas like 'GaMaNida' 'MaNida'unlike the regular 'madadamamagaga' sorts!
I couldnt figure out which swaram he sustained,it definitely was not the standard 'Da' and 'Ni' but then I guess he really did not play it conventionally.
5.Saaarasaaksha paripalaya - Pantuvarali (Here I should be whipped,caned and banned from singing carnatic music because I could not figure out this raga! Damn! Why did I assume it was 'Hamsanandi'
6.Nadupai - Short and sweet!
7.RTP in Begada (Venkataramana Sankata Harana Tirupati) Mishra Chapu taalam with ragamalika swarams in Taanam (Behag,Shivaranjani,Kaapi) The smoothest transtion from Kaapi to Begada in the reverse order!
8.Kandu Dhanyanadeno - Behag
9.Venkatachala Nilayam - Sindubhairavi with an elaborate 10 minute aalapanam which felt like 'a thousand glorius years', a perfect example of Einstein's Theory of Relativity!!
10. Jagadodharana - Kaapi mostly copied from KVN's style,obviously he used to accompany him many many times,it was divine, brilliant and joyous.
11.Mangalam

I'm blessed to have been in this concert!

All I need now is a Haggis trip!!!

2007-11-06T15:08:00.000+05:30

Comments: All I need now is a Haggis tour of Scotland and stories of Nessie,Rob Roy,William Wallace aka Braveheart... oops..Robert Bruce,the only real Braveheart according to the Scots,of the feud between the Campbells and the Macdonalds,of the battles of Culledon, of white horses and maidens,of the old man and his wife in Skye and more,the sound of bagpipes,the smell of whiskey and a bright YELLOW BUS!

And I badly need to see Edinburgh, all over again,again and again!

My friend sent me this video from the net and since then I have gone back to my dreams!

Video Content: Summon Nessie the Haggis-way,action by Rab!
Courtesy:Angela

Why do I love SRK ?

2007-10-25T18:08:00.000+05:30

Yeah,SRK is my hero no matter what! Inspite of all the hype he generates and the egoistical I-me-myself media statements, he has been my favourite star in Bollywood for the longest period. In fact,prior to Bollywood,when he was an IAF officer in the teleserial 'Fauji',he was my hero. It probably started then! I was a young-stupid-teen and you know how a young-stupid-teen feels when a dashing new hero with "Dhoni-like" hair appears! First you take a hero like this,add an Air force uniform to him ,"a-b-r-a-c-a-d-a-b-r-a",you get an Adonis that resembles some Greek God( dont really care who) and all young-stupid-teens drooling,and I was a young-stupid-teen too!!
Did he act ? Ah well!, guess it was assumed that anyone who had such 'Adonis' looks could act well. Life was simple,isnt it ?

For a decade afterwards,SRK existed in the form of Baazigar,Karan Arjun(the ultra-hot Jaathi hoon main song) ,Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa,not to forget Darr(KKKKKKKiran) ,Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman(yeah the sardi khaasi na malaria huan one), Anjaam(uff...this was horrible),Deewaana,Maya Memsaab and some crap here and there until,THE MOVIE happened! Right, DDLJ! And for the second time, he was my hero! Why did I like him so much then ? Okay,he did not beat up people all the time to save the heroine,he did not use fancy gadgets representing some futuristic sci-fi movie nor did he act coy and meek. He romanced and in style too! He cried when heroes were not supposed to,he danced DANCE (as in dance,proper dance) when heroes just did pelvic thrusts a la Amitabh,he played pranks on heroines when heroes just chased them,he mouthed dialogues that melted hearts and much more! He was so much more human than most heroes then! And he won hearts,of YSTs (Young-stupid-teens)

Cut to the new millenieum and you saw him still carrying off the style,truly he represented a style, a cult! Be it Kabhie Khushi Kabhi Gham( which was a hit due to him and Kajol actually) or 'Dil to Paagal Hai', the aura of SRK was the movie itself!
Best of all, he shared an excellent chemistry with most of his heroines,a rare feat for anyone in movies. I really cannot choose over SRK-Kajol,SRK-Madhuri,SRK-Juhi,SRK-Preity or SRK-Rani(though I wud still prefer SRK-Kajol for different reasons)

If he failed somewhere, it was in 'Devdas',and simply because 'Devdas' is an institution! And so is 'Dilip Kumar',so lets us forget that! Also Ash is no match to Madhuri,so I hate that movie in any case!

But two films of his that stand out were 'Swades' and 'Chak De India'. Portraying patriotism on screen is what he does best, much better than romance! And he acts with his eyes! They are intense,passionate,resolute and deep! The eyes make up for lack of a good face perhaps! As YSTs,we could not resist all this and as a mature-sensible adult(if you would still call me that after this post!),I still cannot resist that!

The Eurail is taking off from a crowded London station,a girl is running to catch it,unable to match the speed,a face appears from one of the coaches with outstretched hands and grabs her into the moving train...Just this one scene and Bollywood found its superstar, and I found my hero! And the rest,as they say is history!

P.S :- SRK Filmography

Shooting for a six pack..

2007-10-22T19:05:00.000+05:30

I hit the gym today at work and from now on, I'm gonna gym for an hour daily. My EQ ( exercise quotient if there is one like that ) is just slightly above my IQ, the latter being just a little above the below-average category! and this means, I have to exercise! Having been the outdoorsy kinds,I know fully well what burning fat means but oflate, laziness has overtaken my priorities. Though I have been getting hints often these days from my body, I haven't done much about them! Rather I have been giving excuses. Some of the hints I have been getting
1. My fave jeans is struggling on its way up :)-
2. My erstwhile glorius skin shows aftermarks from pimple ruptures
3. The stairs to my cafeteria appear as though am climbing the Empire State Building
4. Am cursing,swearing and middle-fingering all those who make driving tough for me on the road.(In short am stressed!)
5. My back hurts when I sweep and mop my house!!
6. Those ugly devils are coming back,sleepless nights,more frequently than before!
7. Those uglier devils are threatening to come back,yes the migraines!

The last hint was enough for me to realize that it is time I get back to putting my system through some sweating-out! Thanks Sundari for helping me choose the right track suit from Adidas today,I bought you a Kalmane Koffee in return :)- Well, I did tread-mill for a full 30 minutes non-stop! What a superb feeling at the end of it!
As per medical guidelines, one must sweat with brisk walk/run/jog and that indicates a good heart! Am glad I have a good one,I always knew it beats well and specially well when a handsome,smart man walks by (*wink*) but I had my doubts if it really beat that well, you know what I mean ? yeah,the 72 per minute thingy! Today, I knew it does! Thank God for it...

Apart from beating hearts,a brisk jog/run/walk helps me focus on the priorities in life correctly. Dunno what, but the whole rhythm harmonises the self into thinking about life and philosophy etc, for me it does! Especially on a tread-mill in Oracle's wee gym,with loud music from that stupid music player next to the weighing machine coupled with fellow-gymmers and their machines,I look to focus somewhere away and concentrate.Whoever put the mirror in front of the tread-mill deserves a Nobel Prize for common-sense (committee should set this category up!),the mirror serves as a reference for all things possible during the gym hour! The mirror channelises my thoughts,it helps me see how much I sweat thereby encouraging me to do more(no I dont like sweat,it stinks but remember the more you sweat,the better your heart beats ? and when my wonderful face goes clean and pink(with all the toxins removed), I feel beautiful! For a woman,feeling beautiful is as important as her existence( am joking here!) It makes me feel healthy at the end of it all! Most importantly,it removes the guilt of having gorged on a chocolate cake or a vada during snacks time, which means I can have a bigger piece or a double vada ?? yum yum!!

Yesterday,I watched 'Bunty Aur Babli' and noticed in the 'Kajara Re' song that Ash's tummy was flat! 'Always Aim High' is my fave quote :)-

My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...

2007-10-18T12:50:00.000+05:30

okie,am copying from Anand's latest blog. My list of ragas that bring out the OCD in me...

1. Kambhoji
2. Bhairavi
3. Hindolam
4. Sahana
5. Kharaharapriya
6. Saama ( Annapurne Vishalakshi from KVN)
7. Reetigowla
8. Sindubhairavi
9. Kapi
10.Bilahari
11...

ok..so i dont want to write all the ragas now.. but you guessed right, I have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Carnatic music!! Glad! Andy,you are the one who has fed me so much of music that this disorder has accentuated a million times over now!

And to fuel it further, you have recently started handing out stuff that sounds like Marwa,Ahaliya Bilawal,Bhairav,Bibhas,Lalith Pancham and the rest... am gonna die of this disorder, what ?

talking of dying,my ultimate death wish would be this:-
Reclining on a couch somewhere up in the mountains,with peace and quite around,reading the 'The Murder on the Orient Express',listening to KVN rendering 'Mokshamu galadha' from my Ipod, in silent reflection of the years gone by,shedding a tear or two for lost childhood,thanking HIM for the lovely life he gave me,sipping home-brewed coffee,falling asleep and not waking up again!

I have an OCD with imagination too, perhaps ??

Goosebumps

2007-10-16T18:57:00.000+05:30

Ustad Rashid Khan's voice gives me goosebumps!

A Saturday with myself...

2007-10-13T19:50:00.000+05:30

today has been one of those saturdays when you come to office to do some pending work and then end up doing otherwise! Infact for me,it has been a Saturday@office after a gap of atleast 6 months, probably. In a way, today was a welcome change. Office on a weekend is a haven of peace and quiet, except for the humming of the machines and handful of souls around. The AC is switched off and somehow the environment exudes warmth (sans the AC perhaps ? ) and one feels cozy. Infact, if I could get myself to work today,I could have got done quite a bit. But,am a lazy,dreamy bum!!

Anyway,I just browsed through some database documentation and then went about doing the one dreadful job,that is still pending, and that is, copying over music to my IPOD using Itunes ( read that as pain in the a**). I have accumulated so much of legacy carnatic music on my office PC and it needs to be archived over. But the very thought of Itunes, used to make me postpone this activity until, Anand,my friend whom I can never thank enough,shoved about 60 odd concerts of the great MDR, in one shot at that! So now, the need to archive is pressing and thats why am here today.

All day long, I have drunk the nectar of good old carnatic and hindustani music, it feels as if I have had a double meal. Started out with Lalgudi tillanas, proceeding to KVN (as always KVN is a daily affair!),MDR and a bit of DKJ in my car as I drove to attend music class inbetween. I also had a sudden craving for hindustani music which got me to listen to Ustad Rashid Khan! His voice is pure Scotch,his style is out of this world. Malkauns and Bhairavi thumris and a dadra in Pahadi and am in heaven. Not to forget DKJ's 'Agnyatha Bhakthi rasam' viruttam in Ragamalika in praise of Goddess Kamakshi, perfect timing for Navratri,this one! I simply love the way DKJ renders the line 'Kamakshi Naiva Thava Kaanchathi Dristi Pathaha' in Bilahari and then goes on to sing bilahari at length in akaaram, bliss,total bliss, even in the chaotic surroundings of my car on Nimhans flyover!!

Not just classical, I did listen to some golden songs from Lata as well. Listening to old Bollywood songs after a heavy dose of Indian classical is like eating curd rice after a proper 'yele oota' or like eating 'paalada pradaman' after a 'yummy sadya' in Sheeja's home! In short, as the song 'O Sajana Barkha Bahaar Ayi' resounds from my machine on a dull Saturday afternoon,one can't help feeling contentment in absolute terms!

Did I say,I came to finish work ? Oh forget it,weekends are not meant for work!! However,I have been a good girl inspite of all this wayward weekend behaviour,I did manage to understand how Bitmap Indexes are implemented!

I cant believe my Ipod is fuller than it was yesterday. It is still a little over 1.5GB and I have about 60GB of space left. Anand,where are you ?? What is next Saturday, the 20th of October like !! Ok, I think I have no plans for next weekend :)- :)-

PVR,Forum,food street,friends,work,life,problems and answers,cricket matches,shopping,beauty parlor,everything can wait I guess!!

signing off now.. am excited about my house 'Kolu', shall write on Navratri and my emotional bonding to it later. For now, I need a plate full of food!! Curd rice with mango pickles would be the icing on today's cake perhaps!!

The Sanaatana Dharma..

2007-09-19T20:08:00.000+05:30

There are times I feel lost,lonely and confused. This state-of-mind which, I allude to,collectively can be termed as "searching for an absolution". And mostly these are times when the going has been good, when the events in my life are in order, when there is no explicit occurance of anything that has upset my emotions or ruined my happiness or killed my enthusiasm or induced any form of dejectory feelings towards anyone or anything, in short when life is perfect, or nearly so! ( for nothing is perfect, let me not claim to possess this absolute)

I venture to repeat a self-conversation with myself here..

Me:Why do I feel this way when everything is going my way ?
My self:No idea.

Me: What are my unfulfilled desires ?
My self: Lots actually but I know it is only a matter of time.

Me: Am I afraid of loneliness ?
My self: Not really, it is a matter of time again.

Me: Am I saddened by that one person who forgot me, that one love I did not get or that one fight I had ?
My self: Maybe,but that is not cause of this feeling.

and so on. Well,conclusion ? None of these mundane problems are troubling me. I have enough grit and character in me to solve, get over or make amends to cure myself of these trivial heart-aches.This is something more.This is an emptiness that exists when when the cup of life seems full and overflowing! This is a question that am sure, has sprung from the inner souls of many a man/woman who walks this earth and has done so in the past. It is not a new one, yet, it is as I stand today, a long forgotten question,something that I have not answered to for a while now. Above all,it is difficult to postulate uncertain and complex thoughts!

As always, I go to GOOGLE, the all-answering machinery that exists in today's world.
Not knowing what to google, I cast my mind back to the current affairs of my country and randomly type the word 'Hinduism'. A plethora of answers,links and information in response makes me happy, for I have got something to 'timepass' :)-

Not even once does my dumb self realize that this was the answer to my questions. As I progressively read one link from another and delve into the mysticism of the 'Sanatana Dharma' and its universal principles, I feel a sense of relief, as if someone has lifted a boulder off me. My mind tries to understand the grand scheme of things,of 'The Brahman','The Creation','The Vedas','The Upanishads' and finally, the resting place for all unanswered questions of humankind,'The Bhagavad Gita'. A sense of restoration of spirit prevails, the confusion that I'm unable to even fathom is beginning to fade away and appear trivial and useless in comparison to the 'wisdom' of those sages who realized these very principles. I'm in awe of how much we have and how much there is to imbibe. I'm in awe of our ancient civilisation, of the society that was centuries ahead of the rest of the world, thousands of years before the calendar was recorded.

Most importantly, am in awe of the set of principles called 'Hinduism' that has remained intact after umpteen invasions, misinterpretation, competition and what not.
My mind is engrossed like never before. I feel proud of what I just did, it is a worthwhile act,to even try to understand the teachings of our Vedic saints..The people who invented 'Sanskrit' could never be fools!

This was a beautiful quote that impressed me from the zillion lines of 'wisdom pearls' in answer to this google search :-

“If all the Upanishads and all the other scriptures happened all of a sudden to be reduced to ashes, and if only the first verse in the Ishopanishad were left in the memory of the Hindus, Hinduism would live forever.”
"The Lord is enshrined in the hearts of all
The Lord is the supreme Reality
Rejoice in him through renunication.
Covet nothing. All belongs to the Lord." - Isha Upanishad 1 -1 .

I'm proud to live the 'Hindu way of life'
I'm proud to be a Hindu!

[P.S:
Question of the hour: 'Which engineering college did Ram attend ?'
My Answer : The College of faith,love,tolerance and all that is good in this universe,read it as 'Hinduism'...]

Glimpses of irony..

2007-09-10T09:51:00.000+05:30

A few bizarre thoughts emanate from the recesses of my mind....

India lost to England and India won against South Korea, how many of us watched the losers and failed to notice the winners ? Irony,thats life..

A fly-over collapsed in the busy Panjagutta circle at Hyderabad yesterday,pretty sad...Human life is valued so less in our country,but I have ranted enough and it goes nowhere...Infrastructure woes in IT cities of India - Irony thats life....

Another girl baby's corpse found in Nithari.A culture that has female dieties,that prides in motherhood,talks of sanctity of women still struggles with female infanticide - Irony thats life..

I long to hear someone say nice things about me,a word of appreciation or even a casual compliment,funnily nothing ever comes my way until one bizarre moment when I least expect it.. and then when it comes,it does NOT matter to me..It does not make me happy, I no longer wait for it, at times, it sounds superficial too..
Irony thats life..

Somewhere, halfway across the world from where I stand,a few good souls are still in their slumber,or have they woken up so early ? Them,with whom I spent a little more than a week and yet,felt as if I had known them since times immemorial made a huge impact to my life though I had little in common, in contrast to a few of my own people,with whom I had a lot in common and yet,nothing to relate to..
Irony-thats life...

A new day begins,filled with promises and excitement, but, I think about the days gone by,wishing I went back to this day last month,a crazy day that was,when I just jumped into the next train to Edinburgh,not knowing the why-what-how of my purpose of getting there..

The human mind always craves for things it does not have,shades of irony here ?

Now that is called 'good cricket'...

2007-09-06T11:01:00.000+05:30

Am talking of yesterday's cricket match, Ind vs Eng, it has been a while India put up a fight in this manner, is Indian cricket getting back to shape ? i dont wanna say things a little too early..

Robin Uthappa, my man! thats what captain Rahul told on camera yesterday. A sort of surprise, he was for everyone.The bets were on Yuvraj,Dravid and others, so Robin had to just stay focussed and not let pressure engulf his batting. That's exactly what he did, I suppose.

The last but one, a flick towards fine leg was a beauty, a bold shot,that was played with just one thing in mind - instinct,my opinion though,the experts might have a theory! And when victory seemed just over the horizon,his answer to a full toss delivery giving India the one-run lead was what I term as 'excellent cricket'!!
Fortune favors the brave,perhaps ??

I only hope they don't ruin Robin's career now by sending him at 6-down all the time. Not another Pathan, please! Robin is an opener,so let him be. Especially now,his morale should be high enough for him to open well. India needs a strikesman, an intelligent version of Veerendra Sehwag, Robin is my bet for that!

Not to forget Sachin and Saurav. They played like they were in their teens! Indians are learning to fight, to chase ,which has been our weak area for decades now. The 7 batsmen decision was finally correct!

To talk of the English team, well,Staurt Broad is a guy to watch out for. The lad has an attitude and he bowls well. Very confident. Saurav should not have gotten out at his hands,not after the spat!! But then India won, so it is all ok...

One thing is certain,The Indians,are slowly coming out of the disaster called 'Chappell era',one more thing is certain, the English are trying to ape the Australians,are we seeing another Ashes here ?

Whatever,another can of Irn Bru down! just one more to go...saving that for Saturday, the big game at Lords! Hope India wins, hope Sachin scores that evading-century,for this could possibly be his last series on British soil..

Nothings on a Friday afternoon...

2007-08-31T15:03:00.000+05:30

'Akhiyon main tu bas jaa,akhiyan mein bandh karloo' (roughly translates to 'Dwell in my eyes and let me close them' - gawd translating Hindi to English sucks! ) from the movie 'Chandni' is playing on my comp right,I get lost into my world,you can see me lying carelessly in my chair now,a typical post-lunch posture.I glance around for diversion,my eyes drift to those pieces of beauty on my board-I can see myself in Edinburgh,around lakes and mountains of Scotland,there I go again!!...no I don't need to get emotional now,so I glance away,everything is boring today at work..most of my friends gone - some gone away, some did not turn up,some quit! Oh yes, I always have my company's "social mailing list" for interesting stuff,can always go there and get a good laugh or two. I open my inbox and look for funny,interesting,weird things my colleagues have to say.. one thing that holds my attention is a thread on how unhappy people are with the lunch served at the cafeteria.. happens all the time.. people are obsessed with food..the curry is not fine, the vegetables are dry, the pakoras are oily,the list goes on..I find these things damn funny..there is talk of a food committee which has been going on ever since the Big Bang happened :-) otherwise some general stuff...I need to get back to work,one last glance at picture perfect postcards from Scotland and I go back.. back to my world of business applications and plsql code..
'kismat se tum hamko mileho, kaise chodenge...yeh haaath hum na chodenge..',a melody from Pukaar(2000) of Anil Kapoor,Madhuri fame plays now. A R Rahman knows how to make filmy tunes from a carnatic raga like 'Abheri' the best!!

visuals from the misty curtains of time..

2007-08-28T18:09:00.001+05:30

a sparkling river,a sandy beach...
a cloudy sky,a blazing sun...
a peaceful silence,a sound of music...
a short walk,a long climb...
a little hillside,a misty mountain...
a bowl of soup,a spicy curry...
a ferry boat,a sunken ship...
a small story,a big drama...
a mischievous grin,an embarassed smile....
a haunted castle,a thatched hut...
a jogger's sprint,a sniper's crawl...
a meaningless conversation,a remarkable comment...
a smile of sadness,a tear of joy...
a known stranger,an unknown friend...
a book on a couch,a drink in the pub...
a sense of tradition,a wild nonsense thing...
a large expanse of space, a wee moment in time...
a loud chat with everyone, an unspoken word with someone...
a place where everything ended, a place where everything began...

... a lot of things don't matter anymore..

Common man - only in the cartoon ?

2007-08-27T15:28:00.000+05:30

India Inc is probably the most used word in today's media. India is happening and developing at such a rate that the world is noticing it.As a proud Indian ( you could read that as patriotic also, not in the real sense of freedom struggle patriotism though),it makes me happy. Yet,I keep questioning myself, 'Why is life a struggle for the common man even today in India ?'

The word 'Common man' penned after RKL's famous cartoon series has become an entity, unwanted by India Inc. After a month of staying away from home, my powers of observation of my surroundings has suddenly increased by a factor of 20. What was earlier just a passing glance at an overflowing corporation garbage bin,today is a point of observation. A long queue in a government office which was an expected thing yesterday and hence did not require any intellectual interference,today is a mental excersise. Many such examples and am convinced that the 'common man' of India is slowly losing his peace. His life is still a struggle.

The world's biggest democracy, the most emerging market today, yet reports people dying of starvation in Bihar,of farmers commiting suicides in Andra,of floods taking lives in Orissa,of shortage of food, lack of basic education, health,terrorist attacks in parks and gardens,the list goes on...

While the rupee is gaining strength against the dollar and software exports increasing exponentially sound promising,tomatoes at Rs 20 a kg ,meat at Rs 200+ and toor dal at Rs 50+ is definitely not a good sign of internal progress. The former shows how happy 'India's new rich' are ( are they really ?) while the latter concludes that 'Common man' still has a daily struggle to survive.Well,one thing leads to another and there can be scores of peripheral effects of basic infrastructure this country claims to its credit,some good some bad but the one thing that is certain is the difficult state of the ordinary folks of this vast country.

I'm no authority on this country's administration,but I strongly feel that what India needs today is a complete makeover of its socio-econimical structure. Human life, for starters ? We must learn to make a big deal for every life that breathes here, no we don't do that! We Indians don't value 'quality of life'. Also,death is a common occurance and it does not need so much thought is what every system here thinks. No wonder we have blasts every 6 months across the country, so many accidents, lives lost in calamities and alike, people dying of hunger, neglected medical aid,etc.
Only when we realize that life is more important, shall we then come up with systems and subsystems that will try to safeguard and preserve every one of us. Only then shall we think about farmers,teachers, doctors, etc and not just about software engineers..

I would like to see RKL's 'Common Man' as happy too...

Listening to Lata Mangeshkar now..

2007-08-21T14:15:00.000+05:30

After a month of bollywood music deprivation, am overloading myself with Lata Mangeshkar tracks today. My music player at work was on before my email was!! Tracks so far :-
Suno sajna
Yeh dil tum bin kahee lagtaa nahin
Bahaaron mera jeeven bhi sawaaron

the last one is in a loop for probably the 5th time now, the starting piece of santoor and flute makes me wonder, is this Shiv Hari ? Reminds me of the classic 1968 'Call of the valley'...

Why does santoor feel like ripples of water ?
Why does sitar feel like a romantic moment with a stranger ?
Why does flute feel like a peaceful sleep ?

Some questions have no answers..

P.S :- If there is God on earth,he/she probably lives in the vocal chords of Lata Mangeshkar ??

Back to the grind...

2007-08-21T00:02:00.001+05:30

life has resumed its normal course! and I have written my shortest blog today!!

Welcome to Centre Court,british summer has set in...

2007-07-09T07:07:00.000+05:30

One of the finest tennis matches in a long time was yesterday's Federer vs Nadal. Games running into 5 sets is a trier of all kinds, to the players especially. What a comeback for the Fedex in the last set, that was. But,the hero undoubtedly was Rafael Nadal. I'm a self-confessed fan of Federer but to be fair to yesterday's match,it belonged to Nadal. Some of his cross-court shots were with great precision which the World No 1. could not match,his physical stamina was stunning. Nadal yesterday could have lifted the Himalayas in his left hand,that was his strength. And above all, he appeared to have a mental disposition that seemed to say, 'Look how I can handle the grass'!

Anyway,the day belonged to the Swiss man,who humbly admitted to have been lucky.However, his intelligence on grass was sprouting off now and then, almost in every set and that's why he was able to see Nadal eye-to-eye till the last. No wonder, they say 'battle of equals'!! phew,my heart was jumping yesterday!

Looking at it in a neutral manner,the game was poised equally,so it is unfair to give Nadal so much advanatage. But what made it special for him was probably the fact that he pushed the match to a five-setter and that was his moment of glory. That was the punishing factor for Federer. What a match!!

Above all,it was a match that audience was seen loving through and through. How I wish I was sitting amidst those people and applauding the victory of human spirit, whoever it may be! Perfect british weather(not counting the rain earlier) and beautful Wimbledon centre court,royal feel,precision and all old-world glory is a beautiful feeling.

The best thing about yesterday was the sight of three greats - Bjorn Borg,Boris Becker and John McEnroe. Men who made a difference to this world sitting there to encourage the men who are going to make a difference to this world!.Awesome feeling,great tennis,excellent weather,mind-boggling aces by Federer(in the last set) all these took me back to old memories of growing up when my cousin Jayanthi akka and I used to discuss tennis ( pretty much all sports) and I used to be in awe of her knowldege of every nitty-gritty thing in tennis,cricket,whatever. My interest in sports was fuelled by her and the first thing I did after the match was to call her and discuss yesterday's match!

Jayanthi akka, am so glad you watched it yesterday amidst all your household duties!! Somethings, don't change isn't it ? One of them is Wimbledon...

Sowmya at Cleaveland Music festival..

2007-06-29T07:43:00.000+05:30

Sowmya is back in form, heard her today at Cleaveland Tyagaraja Aradhana in Cleaveland,am simply amazed by the presence of Carnatic music in the US,am so glad.. The programme being telecast on Jaya TV daily at 6.30AM, wih the usual RMkv silks and grandeur, it feels nice.

Coming back to Sowmya's kutcheri, I must say, I heard the "Sowmya of the early nineties" today, after a reeeally long time. Of late, for whatever reason,which I dont want to judge, I used to feel she had lost interest. Her singing had reduced from a once-all-powerful husky nature to a boring,sluggish one. It hurt me a lot. Because Sowmya is my all time favourite in the new generations. Her classisicm stands out and her no-compromise way of handling ragas like thodi,bhairavi, kalyani and the other rubber-stamp ragas of Carnatic music makes me feel as if am listening to someone from those days....

Maybe it was voice abuse,fatigue or too many concerts, she just wasnt the same, for about a couple of years now. Today, it seemed changed. A briliant neraval in Dhanyasi followed by a kalyani in the 30 mins of glory that JayaTV brings daily was how my day began...

Sowmya stands out because of her commitment to Carnatic musc, I have heard from music circle friends that she works hard at her music even now. No wonder.. She is also singing at a slightly higher pitch with good clarity too... Is this the effect of voice culture ? Constant akaaara saadhanam ? Humming ? Not talking too much ? What could it be ? Am still struggling.. but am not anyone in Carnatic music.. am just a small fish, a reealy tiny one in this great universe of carnatic musicians... but am blessed to be there...

Whatever it is with Sowmya, am glad she is back in action. Am waiting to hear more of her back home, maybe a brilliant kamboji would do justice to all these years of lacking ??

Back in nineties,Sowmya used to be for me an icon - an IIT gold medallist,a post-graduate in Chemistry from IIT,an all-rounder who sings Carnatic music too.
Today, Sowmya is to me an icon of a different nature - a fighter,a phoenix in the field of CM who has come back to form in style and grandeuer, and she also happens to be an IItian,a gold medalist with a postgraduate in chemistry too..

Sometimes it is worth turning the perspective by 360 degres what ?

The great TMT is no more..

2007-06-28T11:10:00.000+05:30

Sir TM Thyagarajan, one of the greatest livng legends of sampradayam karnataka sangeetham passed away yesterday at 84. I have started listening to him only recently and the impact his music has is not explainable. He is a guru of first order - even just listening to his music has given so much.

May his soul rest in peace.

sun rise in a jealous mind...

2007-06-27T08:55:00.000+05:30

today i woke up feeling jealous,of some people, some girls, to be specific. I'm in comparison mode. This emotional surge happens once in a while and when that happens, I loathe myself. But am a human afterall.

Why am I jealous of some girls ? Hundreds of reasons.. from simple 'some girls get it easy' to complex 'Some girls get away with anything' ones.. Not many would understand, but thats not the idea. Idea is to pour out on my dear blog so that the 'not-so-nice' feelings pass.. Writing does that to me..It is highly effective in that sense.

Jealousy is a rotten thought,but it happens. And am not gonna hide it anymore. In a lighter sense, if I jot down some interesting reasons why I could be jealous of any other girl, would it make this blog any better ?

1. She is beautiful,men stare at her..

2. She is still young,my God no wonder these guys go gaga over her..

3. She throws her feminine charm and see how these idiots swoon...

4. She has it all - why is God so unfair ?

5. Coming to think of it... am almost like her, so why do I have to struggle every time ? ( this is a commonly occuring jealousy trait)

6. Why cant I ever act coy and feminine like her ? Men are old-fashioned remember, they still want their woman to be the goody-goody one.

7. She shops like crazy, wonder where she gets those fancy earrings from ? for all that, she must have paid just a few rupees for those while am sitting here wearing these 30K diamonds. ( how wrong I was to think that diamonds are a girl's best friend ? )

8. I hate my hair.. dry and curled up all the time, look at her, such lovely straight, silky ones.. I spend so much on conditioners and yet.. she tells me she just shampoes the damn thing.. God... is there no solution for my bad hair ?

9. what has she done to deserve all this ? I mean her existence is of no use to this society, I do this, I do that and yet, it doesnt mean anything. ( This is a stupid one, only a totally horrible me can think thus :-) )

10. A day will come when her beauty will fade, when she will become fat and bulgy.. these guys will never give a damn then ... wow.. how nice.. i would feel so much better that day...

ah... the list goes on.. Now, the real me is emerging..am glad these stupid thoughts are gone. Honestly it doesnt matter to me how beautiful,capable or young another woman is. I know there is someone out there for me, someone whose life and existence makes sense with me. He may be old,greying,bald,fat whatever, but he would be mine!!

Girls, get away please... I wish you all the best in your charm-filled, youthful endeavours, you could never be me nor could I be you.

Your men could never be mine and mine shall never give you a second look..

Current mood :- passing jealousy, coming to commonsense..
Current song :- 'Mere Khwabon mein jo aaye' from DDLJ..

What is true freedom ?

2007-06-25T19:25:00.001+05:30

I'm asking this question of myself after engaging in a debate with some friends. The debate was on political ideologies - democracy, capitalism ,communism and all the variations we have today. I, for one, is a strong supporter of democracy and more so capitalism. Capitalism does to a society something similar to what mom used to do to us when we were kids - 'Look at how well behaved that girl next door is... ' and lo, I started behaving well too..
I presume you know what I mean.

Capitalism brings in competition. It puts in challenges, it churns the best from the huge melting pot, so to speak. And we all know, how these handful change our lives.

Some say, democracy doesnt work for a country like ours. Because we dont deserve it. Partially right. At 60 years, our country is still like a bunch of unruly kids who have to be whipped to be disciplined. But wait,thats not what democracy is, in the first place. It defines freedom to choose in a nutshell, however it does not impose!
It just lays rules and rules for breaking those rules, but it doesnt enforce. Atleast not in the strictest sense. Because of its true definition, it still gives a criminal, a defaulter, a chance. A chance to plead! A chance to get away ! (this is the saddest part of democracy) But to blame an ideology that stands on freedom for this very reason is not fair. This is my opinion. Because, I live in a society that has given me the freedom to live life on my terms so long as those terms dont affect another's existence.I love this freedom because it lets me work,be intellectual,creative, entertaining ,empathatic and more. And to blame democracy just because a few misuse it is wrong.

What if I were to lose all this tomorrow and be asked to follow certain principles that I dont subscribe to ? Some of those that appear socially just but unfair to the hard working,skilled population like mine ? What if I were asked to donate half of my salary to someone who is unemployed just because that person does not want to work ? What if my salary was never increased simply because some lawyer somewhere was making only so much ? What if my creative talents were not paid off simply because 90% of the society was not creative ? What if educational standards were reduced to keep eveyone at bay ? What if I had to pay 60% income tax while someone else paid only 30% ? What if I had to donate 5% of my income to a youth who was begging simply because he is too lazy to work ? What if entertainment was regulated ? What if we were asked to stop playing sports because we need that money to be invested elsewhere ? What if defence was not so important ?

Did I lose my freedom here ? My friend would say no because he thinks so long as I have enough to eat and survive, it is OK! So long as my money is going to make everyone well-fed and well-clothed, such rules are fine, he would say!

What happens to me ? What happens to this society ? Would there be motivation ? Would anyone think beyond eating and living well ? Would we explore ? Would we take the unchartered ? Would we try to create wealth ? Would we invest ? Would we think ahead ? Would we secure ourselves ? Eventually, would we think at all ? Would there be change ? evolution ?

Might be, might be not! Because it all depends on one guy whose vision of the world would have to become my vison of the world. And that my friends is by itself, RESTRICTING and against WORLD ORDER. This world needs chaos, variety and differences. There have to be rich and poor, the hard working and the hardly working, the common and the intellectual, we have no choice. This is world order. By trying to make things uniform,someone out there is only acting God! Any human acting GOD is called a DICTATOR! Because, we have no right to! There was one guy about half a century ago due to whose whims and fancies, an entire population of innocent, free-spirited people were put to pain and death. Do we need moral policemen for our leaders ?

Think my friends!

Fools - who are they ?

2007-06-12T17:52:00.000+05:30

I would like to compare some of my thoughts now with those ones I used to have say about 5-10 years ago in given similar contexts and life situations. What shall I call this ? Words-from-experience ? Stupid thoughts ? Whatever...

1. Then :- It is possible for me to be in anyone's thoughts if I try hard enough..
Now :- No matter what I do, I simply don't exist for some people. don't even nned to try...

2. Then :- When I talk, everyone shall listen if am convincing..
Now :- People switch off their minds the moment they see me open my mouth...

3. Then :- How can a stranger be close ? I mean.. he is a stranger, what does he know of me ?
Now :- A stranger can understand me better than most people you know. Most people I know can behave more strangely than strangers.

4. Then :- I think am your close friend and you will be there for me at all times of need.
Now :- I thought am your close friend but you dint think so and rest of the stuff doesnt matter anyway...

5. Then :- I want to make new friends wherever i go..
Now :- Let me call some of my old buddies from school and college...

6. Then :- My mom is old fashioned and boring. She advises me all the time on relationships at work, does she mean I should not trust anyone ? She belongs to some goddamn generation that never let people talk at work...
Now :- Let me ask Mom on how to handle this small matter at work. She would definitely know best..

7. Then :- What, watching a movie alone ? Are you mad ? You dont know how to be happy at all... I tell you just catch some friends and go have fun... u are so boring...
Now :- Ok, so...she is married and so is she, he is travelling, he doesn't like my company, they don't watch the movies I do, oh they prefer late night shows , okie let me watch this movie alone...

8. Then :- These thirty odds are unbearable...
Now :- These twenty-somethings so immature...

9. Then :- A man who is smart,handsome,educated with a good sense of humor,social, romantic, etc etc etc..
Now :- A person who accepts me as am...

10. Then :- Friendship has no expectations, thats why it is so beautiful but love has expectations, so friendship is nobler ( someone told me this actually..)
Now :- Love grows with time because those very expectations bind people together and make them discover the best in one another.

11. Then :- am single and ready to mingle..
Now :- am single and happy with myself..

12. Then :- In the next 5 years, I shall be heading this team, I shall be earning fifty lakhs p.a, I will have travelled all over the world and bought a penthouse...
Now :- In the next 5 years, I shall probably be packing my child to school and driving to work early to complete this assignment before I take this much awaited week-long vacation to Chennai with my parents....

13. Then :- My destiny is in my hands...I can change it if I want to.. it has nothing to do with my past deeds nor with any Creator...
Now :- oh Lord, give me strength to handle my troubles, whatever may come, do not let go of me....

:-) I liked the last one particularly.. it adds a dramatic effect to this this blog...

Agatha Christie says in her famous Marple case 'Murder at the Vicarage' thus :-

quote.... " The young people THINK the old are fools but the old people KNOW the young are fools.." unquote..

Mungaru malae review (blues ?)

2007-06-03T22:44:00.000+05:30

After a long gap, maybe a decade or more,I actually cried through a movie today. I cried for that stupid guy in the movie :-) poor thing, you know, he was in such a hopeless state,right ? Right through the beginning,the man did not even get a bloody chance! Many of us actually don't admit to feeling mushy/emotional whenver we watch such movies. We fear being laughed at,by our friends,oursleves. Am sure we all have, at some point felt like crying for a romance on screen,for failed unions,sad songs and what-have-you. But, we adults don't ever admit to feeling emotional...

For us, being emotional denotes weakness,in mind and body. Especially, it is so taboo for a man to cry.But poor guys,they have a heart too! And it hurts badly I suppose,whenever a girl uses them to her advantage. That's precisely what I felt Mr Preetham went through in Mungaaru Malae.."Paaapa huduga",as they say in Kannada..there must be scores of such guys in this universe....

and the girl, well.. what to say of her... she got the best deal anyways... romance with our hero and marriage with someone tall,dark(not-so-much) and handsome(definitely that model has dimples that girls swoon over), anyway, our heroine got the best deal... there must be scores of such girls in this universe too..

Apart from all this, this was a movie about monsoons and what it does to you, I suppose. It is probably trying to prove the point that 'falling in love is as easy as opening an umbrella in the monsoons'. Funny,love is such a stupid thing... and such an overly used term. The movie's greatest moments though are the rain-drenched appearances of the pair, it's biggest asset is 'lack of vulgarity' and lack of 'obscene dress-sense' (you could watch this with your dad types),however the fashion sense is totally lacking here. The heroine's clothes were poorly designed and consisted mostly of large beads and beady looking artistic stuff and some garish sarees and outfits. When less is to be covered,it is important how to cover it, but sadly our fashion designers there do not quite understand this!

The movie is very good inspite of mush mush all over. Yes, I cried through it and I had expected to ( refer my previous blog) It made me feel stupid, young and silly. And tears are a wonderful thing,they cleanse up your system.

Finally, I discovered two things today :-

1. I can watch movies alone. I may be alone but am definitely not lonely. I cherished my singledom and thanked God for keeping me single,independent,master of my will and most importantly happy.

2. Whenever,I feel not-so-young anymore,I need to watch a mush-mush movie like this. Doing so, I would shed those collegish-stupid tears and the after-effect would be nice and feel-young-all-over-again sort of. :-)

All said and done,"love" may be misread today, but lucky are those who have tasted it, atleast once, even if it has left a sad memory. The experience of having been in love,of being loved and one of reciprocation, is so much more sweet than of "unrequited love". As I said,earlier on, it was sad to see Pretham because fellow never had a chance,except for a few hours in his reel life.

Sacrifice may be eternal and love momentary but life is all about moments,right ?

feeling-good-bad-sad-mushy and young
-Rekha

mist,clouds,raindrops,Malnad,Mungaaru Malae and silly me!

2007-06-01T17:50:00.000+05:30

am copying DBT,I apologise. I have flicked her blog-story, but then 'Mungaaru Malae' is universal, so am sure DBT understands that I need to write about rains as well :-)

I'm constantly hovering between 'I need to watch Mungaaru malae' and 'I don't want to watch Mungaaru Malae' these days. Firstly, the movie is a big big hit and holds the record for the largest running show in any PVR in India,am told.Great! am happy that this record has gone to a kannada movie. So, it would be stupid me not watching this one,especially when almost all kannadigas have done so.

But,honestly,I have feared watching this movie. I know the story and it is a pretty simple one, almost simple and easy but..I get hurt watching love stories where the hero and heroine don't get together eventually, it feels sad and it works on me big time.

A couple fall in love against the backdrop of beautiful 'Malnaad' amidst the monsoonshowers,(now you know why my blog is called this!),frolic in the rains in drenched appearances,sing beautifully composed 'Mungaaru Maleye' that make me spin, only to part in the end without getting married to each other. Shucks,it hurts.. what a waste of romance! I feel sad and it makes me want to cry. Hence, I have not wanted to watch this movie till now.

So, this silly me sits back and thinks thus :- Whats in a movie yaar ? At this age,you are being so silly...common, go watch it.. blah blah.. Wait..I tell you what ,I can't help it.. it is not the story nor the songs but the mist-clad mountains,the clouds hovering over the entire plane of sky over my head,the green expanse all around,the raindrops that fall on my face, this is what am afraid of.. Silly, isn't it ? It is weird but anyone who has visited Malnad in the monsoons would understand what am saying..

Back to the movie,having heard that the photography is beyond exceptional,I fear watching picture-perfect moments such as these. At the same time,I know that in these very scenes lie my "utopian state of mind". And am afraid of getting to that state-of-mind, for I know,I cannot live there forever. This is exactly my fear!!!

Casting aside my feelings and different-states-of-mind, I finally mustered enough courage today to watch 'Mungaaru Malae' this Sunday. Immediately, purchased a ticket so that it doesn't fizzle out. Now,I'm prepared to smile,hurt,cry,rejoice and what-not at the hero-heroine. More importantly,I close my eyes for a moment and I see mist-clad mountains,clouds hovering about, green expanse all around and raindrops falling on my face. It is worth it, what ?

My Famous Five hindi movie 'A'ces

2007-05-28T21:03:00.000+05:30

I have been wanting to write on these for a really long time now. My most favourite hindi movies of yesteryears, I hate to call them 'Bollywood movies'. The word 'Bollywood' reminds me of something contemporary and stereotypical. And these movies were exceptions to the rule and to put them in the same basket as today's flicks is obvious stupidity. Coincidentally, their names began with an 'A' and they leave a mark from the word go. To write about them is a pleasure, a travel down the memory lane worth going back in time to the days of creative genius of hindi cinema.

Abhimaan
Anand
Aradhana
Amar Prem
Aandhi

The above order does not mean an order of preference. That would be 5P5 permutations to order :)- so I listed them as I could tick them off my head...
For simplicity, I choose the bottom-up approach :)-

Aandhi :- The word itself means 'storm' or 'tempest'. It is a tale of two lives bonded by love and marriage but separated by egoes driven by high-flying careers.
Sanjeev Kumar and Suchitra Sen married but separated, he a successful hotelier and she the best lady politican of the day,she runs into him at his hotel during political campaign and old sparks re-ignite. There are moments of their togetherness,avoiding public eye for fear of unwanted publicity,just so wonderfully created and enacted. The last few scenes are the work of a master director. The end is all the more realistic because she bids him goodbye and it very cleverly shows how many a time, a buried relationship can never be the same. Some of best music ever.
Most Notable song :- Is Mod Se Jaate hain(the lyrics take it all)

Amar Prem :- Imagine a handsome man mouthing a dramatic 'Pushpa,I hate tears', his head swinging slightly to and fro and an ironical grin as he enacts an emotional moment with his leading-lady.Imagine love with no tags of sexuality attached. Imagine two torn souls finding their lives'lost love in each other, but never trying to give it a name. Imagine an entire life spent in such a relationship. Imagine 'Love with no expectations' and you have just imagined 'Amar Prem'. The name says it all.. Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore make real-life seem so inferior.
Most Notable song :- The classical masterpiece in raag Patdeep 'Raina Beeti Jaaye'

Aradhana :- Three most unforgettable scenes sums up this movie entirely.
Scene 1 :A handsome IAF officer standing at the doorstep of a simple girl and the girl unknowingly throws a bucket of water on his face.The beginning of a romance leading to a brilliantly filmed intimate scene, a love lasting forever.
Scene 2 :A middle-aged Sharmila Tagore watching the romance of her illegitimate son and his girl from behind the clothes-line.
Scene 3 :In the end,when the son proudly acknowledges her in an officers' meet thus giving her life-long 'Aradhana' a meaning, a completion to a penance she underwent to make him an Air force officer.This movie is an unbeatable classic. A true love story in all facets of human relationships.Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore again, what a romantic pair!!
Most beautiful song :-Kora Kaagaz tha yeh man mera. This song showcased the best voice of Lata Mangeshkar and Kishore Kumar, in my opinion.

Anand :- I cry everytime I watch this movie. The best self-help material in visual, highly positive influence. The movie where Amitabh was competly willing to be overshadowed by Rajesh Khanna. This movie brought about a new dimension in friendships, one that of loss. Fun,sadness,humor,philosophy all of these have been presented in this movie. Most importantly, it conveys the message of 'eternal living'. Truly touching.
Song that rocks :- Maine tere liye hi saath rang ke sapne chune.

Abhimaan :- This movie shall remain my best forever,the top of my list. It so wonderfully portrays professional career vs personal life and the eternal struggle to balance the two in a marriage. Totally realistic. I cannot say enough about this movie. Jaya Bhaduri was an actress par excellence even before the 'Bachan' tag engulfed her into housewifely-duties. Some brilliant acting. A movie that shows to perfection - a universal element called 'MALE EGO'. The fantastic musical end to this movie is unique and commands adulation. Every musical note composed for this movie is worth its weight in gold but the one that stands out is 'Tere Mere Milan Ki yeh raina'.

This trip down the memory lane has been truly enchanting..As I say, some reel-life makes real life look so inferior!!

this monsoonshower is eternal :-)

2007-05-23T19:38:00.000+05:30

While the monsoons that we are awaiting are so crucial to the existence of millions of farmers in south India,my blog is useless to anyone! Nevertheless,monsoons are so loved by all, I like my blog being called monsoonshowers...

Am stuck at work, waiting for my manager to call me for some discussion. Outside, the climate is exotic and chill am sure. One rain and Bangalore is back to its cool cool nature. Only I dont want a flu or a viral now!

Today has been as normal as any other. Took part in a big debate on 'Global Warming' with some colleagues. I guess am too overbearing in discussions, I have decided to stop voicing my opinion starting now. People may find my comments irritating, I can sense that! I have this bad habit of interrupting when someone is talking, Oh God!, am tired of self-improvising! But I know am wrong and I gotta improve. With a bunch of equivocal men, a not-so-intelligent woman has not much to say, so I better shut up! Regarding global warming, well, I vow to do my bit to make this world a better place!

Had a lovely discussion with DBT afterwards,I find conversation with women so much more relaxed. Maybe I can sense the rhythm well! DBT is a fantastic lady with brilliance,wit and enthusiasm. At the same time, she is sensitive and caring too. I always find myself at peace when I talk to her. We have so much to talk on swimming :-)

Missed SP today, guess little boy is demanding her attention. It must be a lovely feeling - being a mom. It is nice to feel needed and awesome to be the center of everything for someone. It is simply superb to hold a tiny angel in one's arms and to bring a kid ,watch him/her grow, outgrow and then fly. Worth everything!

Amidst all this, did some work too. Work gets done somehow,maybe 8 years in the same place causes this. I dunno. Orkut craze is going down. am glad, I dont login so much now. It is sheer waste of time. Am coughing away to glory. Cough is body's way of
making your life miserable. Nothing helps!

Something is nagging inside me these days. A kind of need to do something different, to alter the monotony. Comfort zones are so nice but guess I need to come out. Some past decisions bother me - the ones I did not make. Some nag me - the ones I made. But life is calling and one needs to answer the bell. The heart must give away to the mind. Practicality must rule. I yearn to be complete.

Have been off music for a long time now! Guess everything needs a break. As they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. I realize,I cannot live without music. I guess I love it. Am more than happy to be going back to my classes and resuming my practice.

Waiting for the monsoon showers... I need to chill.

Stinking soaps

2007-05-23T12:21:00.000+05:30

No consumer market till now has had soaps that stink. We only know of perfumed soaps, each having its own fragrance be it a flower,lime,vanilla,etc etc. But now, we have soaps on TV that stink to the core. I'm frustrated with them now. The point am trying to say is already said over a million times and I know people are gonna tell me 'why do you watch' etc etc. All that apart, to look at it from an analytical point of view,it is highly disgusting.

So what's new ? The same old 'saas bahu',vampish,backstabbbing,stabbing,rape, murder,lies,emotional drawls that dont mean a thing nor bring a tear,everthing has been there for a decade now on Indian TV. So what am I harping about ?

Creative-justice is one thing and I'm fine with seeing something 'hatke' from real-world on TV.Afterall,it is just a soap! But to break norms of normalcy in every aspect of human life is disgusting.

Four cases I present here :-

1.I'm ok to see women plotting against their mothers-in-law,or masking but am not ok to see a mother plotting against a daughter and vice versa. I'm not ok to see a mom saying to her daughter 'ghar se baahar nikaaldhoongi' or 'tumhaaraa jeeena haraam kardoongi' Why because,no mom on earth will ever wish this of her daughter. No matter how hard a mom is, she cannot be an enemy. She wouldnt want you out of the house because she knows about the big bad world out there! :-) How can a mom be so un-mom like ?

2. I'm ok to see a bitchy woman going about on her immoral acts on screen but am not ok to see her sleeping around with every man available and having babies with all of them and all those babies plotting against her finally! Because with every man you sleep just once,you don't make a baby :-) Not all the time! Nature doesn't let you!!

3. I'm ok to see a physical assault but am not ok to see every man (in the soap) getting suspected of raping the heroine. Because every man does not think that way all the time with just one girl. It just doesn't happen,not even once!

4. I'm ok to see clandestine disappearing acts and dramatic entries (spanned by three decades) but am not ok to see someone living forever,someone not ageing at all ,someone having grandchildren and not a speck of grey hair but dancing to old and new Bollywood numbers with the the ease of a twenty year old and worse someone being called a 'Daadi' and looking like a supermodel. My God! Life on TV sux!
I'm ok to see old people partying but am not ok to see people not looking old when they should! Phew! Am I making sense ?

These situations are just an example but sadly our soaps run on these themes mostly. What makes these weird and disgusting then ? We are used to seeing uncommon things in movies and TV so this is just another of those hypothetical happenings, we can always say. It is true,we do have lots of hypothetical happenings , like in comedy shows - the 'Tu-Tu-Main-Main' fights (which no mil and dil ever do in reality) or an obvious chemistry between any two single people on screen (which in reality is rare), so many such things that are not real. Yet, we like them and enjoy them. We always want to believe that these have a rare chance of occuring and we are consoled by this fact that we are connecting to some remote real world, however rare. You could probably search the entire world and get a mil-dil fighting silly using something close-to-tu-main' jargon or hear a love-at-first-sight story from someone real which closely resembles what is shown on screen.

so whats different about the four cases above ?

The difference is 'these dont happen even once'. Not even a rare probable case.Thats what make them stink. The are utterly nonsense. And most importantly they defy the very cause of what thy are intended for. And that is STUPID in big bold!! No one want s to see stupidity,I dont mind being taken for a ride but the ride be worthwhile atleast in parts. I dont want no ride which makes me feel like a loser. I dont want to be shown something that makes me question the world I live in. I dont want to ask 'Tell me a remote chance of this happening' and get a 'None' for an answer.

And this is why these soaps stink. Because, they have no perfume of life in them! Even if the scent is cheap ittar, it spreads fragrance, similarly even if it is silly, am fine to watch so long as it smells of life. And finally, you cant package garbage in a bottle and sell it as a perfume. It shall stink, no matter what!

The magic of DDLJ stays forever

2007-05-11T19:10:00.000+05:30

This is my favourite Bollywood movie,i.e not considering the pre-80s stuff. Call me a mushy idiot if you please. No other on-screen romance has left this mark on my head as this one has. A love-story so ideal that I want to be a part of that movie myself, Too big dreams no ? Even today, I can watch this movie and feel-good again.

Romance may be boring and dead for many people. For some it doesnt exist at all. Romance has gotten a 'not-so-cool' tag with today's youth. Honestly I tell you, nothing can make you feel nicer than watching a lovely romantic movie,(note the words Lovely and Movie) because I'm not referring to those flicks made by aesthetically deprived directors for whom the concept of an on-screen love has little to do with people and emotions! I'm alluding to movies like DDLJ which has heroes and not super-heroes or gadgets. Ofcourse am not saying the movie was perfect, it definitely had its bad shots, yet when I look back, stills from the movie I think does make me 'want to fall in love'.

This movie is the best example of pure entertainment for the following reasons :-
1. Excellent songs,locales and all standard stuff.
2. Good leading pair - excellent on-screen chemistry
3. Romantic moments that gives goosepimples.
4. Mush,mush mush - on a lonely friday evening for a single soul :)
5. Lotsa garam masala too - the typical Indian fare at the end I mean!

Most importantly, this movie gives me the feeling of belonging to a certain place, with certain people,in a certain situation in some faraway moment of time - the existence of which is impossible in my life.It gives me what my life doesnt! While everything in my existence is a remote approximation, this movie gives me perfection, in myself and my surroundings. It empowers me to dream the only dream that I dare not dream! , It makes me cry while smiling and smile while crying.

According to SP( and me too!),romance maybe a subject but sometimes,people we meet in books and movies do appear in public :) And when that happens, I only need to take them from there and put them into the dim corners of my soul,so dim that no one can find them there excepting that little faint light called hope!

PS :- By posting nice comments to this one, you shall rekindle that faint light I speak about. ( I hope my blog-readers understand what am trying to say *wink*)

My dearest friends

2007-05-07T18:22:00.000+05:30

Life is full of surprises. :)- Especially when it comes to people. Oflate, I have begun to enjoy human psychology. Observing people is interesting and one helluva timepass. It is an added enjoyment if it is someone I know because it is so strange to see the various masks worn by your own kith and kin and at the same time, a complete eye-opener!! Lessons learnt from people are the best ones.

From people I know so far, I have found the following diversities :-

1. Some I thought 'I could share my deepest thoughts', I discovered, shut themselves off at the mere decibel of my voice.
2. Some I thought 'mature' hadn't seen the world! (funny this one)
3. Some who were in my thoughts many a time, I figured out 'couldn't care less about me'!
4. Some supposedly "cool" personalities thought I was "old" and not worth a second glance!
5. Some even refused to look me in the eye ( I still cant understand this attitude)
6. Some who promised 'great friendships' have never stopped to ask 'how are you feeling today ?'
7. Some don't like me talking to them, for some I'm too loud,some don't like me at all! (under that smiling facade)
8. Some get irritated if I make casual conversation.
9. Some are jealous of my "single-dom" yet wonder why am single at 31 (this is the weirdest)
10. For some, am too cliched, too orthodox and too boring and not-cool at all.
11. Some fear being with me when no one else around. (This pisses me off big time but I don't bloody show it cos I'm reading their minds you see !)

Conversely,I have found some great friendships in people I hardly know at all. It is probably to do with "Me" as a person. So long as I stay "Unknown", it is nice, I guess.

Life shall move on no matter what! Many of these "FRIENDS" shall disappear from the plane of my life, not because I cast them away but because "they never wanted to be there" in the first place. It was only my imagination that I thought I existed for them! As time progresses, I discover the shallowness of these people who never bothered. I figured the casualness of those conversations.

It is time I move from the "timepass" friends to the "real-time" friends.

People who "let me cry" instead of "don't cry,life is going fine for you"
People who say "You are looking good/beautiful today" instead of the ones who hesitate to give a genuine compliment for i-duno-what fear!!
People who say "she is only 31" instead of the ones who say "she is 31 already"
People who say "Rex, you can" instead of "Now it is gonna be tough for you"

I have learnt that the ones who have been there always, everytime, are the ones who never promised anything. They are the ones who have lent me their shoulders (litrally), shouted at me, fought with me,bought things for me,searched a "suitable boy" for me,called me 'crazy', asked me out, ordered me about, drove roundabout to meet me,etc. These are the crazy friends I have who shall be a part of my life forever, not because I cast them in, but because "they cast me into their lives". They love me more than I shall ever know! Because with every passing day, they throw surprises in my life.For them,my presence in their life is not incidental but a divine coincidence.(I love it when they say 'am lucky to have you', feels so nice)

Sandy,Kart,Venus,Pakaru,Chits,Vins,DBT,Moule,m'lady,"Bank of M....",Praps,C-auntie,Arati,AV,VR,KK and AG - thanks for choosing to have me into your life.

an ideal day

2007-05-07T15:02:00.000+05:30

4 AM - rise from sleep, brush, have honey and warm water
4.30 AM - go out to the terrace and sit under the stars,sunrise,whatever and hear some silence!
5 AM - practise music
7 AM - cup of coffee with Indian express :)
7.30 AM - help Mummy in kitchen
8.30 AM - Get dressed to work
9.15 AM - drive to work
10 AM - start work ( in the strictest sense!)
11.30 AM - coffee break
11.45 AM - back to desk ( if this can happen after item above, I would say 'I have arrived!')
1 PM - lunch and walk
2 PM - back to work ( as in work and not bloggin,orkut,and GTP )
5 PM - tea with gang
5.30 PM - leave for home
6 PM - chat with mom and dad
6.30 PM - practise music
7.45 PM - dinner and GTP
8.45 PM - off to a swim
10 PM - back from swim, washup, drink hot milk and read
11 PM - off to sleep.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- I strive to live for this day!! Why am I reminded of that song 'Nothing else matters!'. Why am I reminded of the following lines I read somewhere ?

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John B Higgins is Kumbakonam degree coffee !!

2007-05-04T16:49:00.000+05:30

I'm blogging after a gap of two weeks, just done with a much-needed break from writing *wink*. Not as if am a prolific writer but sometimes I have to admit,I get tired of myself.Anyways,am back after this vacation with a firmer resolution to write more on things close to my heart rather than mushy stuff on my feelings,on morals, sentiments and the like.In short,am tired of being the moral police of my blog.

Sitting down to blog on a lazy Friday with MIOL playing in the background,I reflect on 'Carnatic music'.John B Higgins is singing 'Krishna Nee Begane Baaro' with a voice as sweet as the Dabur Honey I purchased this afternoon from Fab mall, diction resembling that of any Sanskrit-knowing Indian and musical prowess unparalleled in our sangeetham. John Higgins is probably the best exponent of 'Krishna Nee Begane Baro' in my opinion.

What an achievement his was! Being the foremost of westerners to delve into the mystics of our divine music, he opened up this art to the vastly methodical west.
It is more commendable how Americans and Europeans have successfully understood and appreciated this art. No other community collectivly boasts of such a wide internet participation in a global sense as Indian music does. Some of the best answers on rec.india.music.classical and research on Indian music comes from there.

Cut to the scene back home and I get disappointed quite a bit.Not that there has been a stark decline,so long as we have Chennai,Mysore,Bangalore and other places on world map,am assured of Carnatic music in this world,however it is sad to note that our people - children,teenagers and youth in particular do not like Carnatic music. Attend a concert and most of the people out there are middle-aged barring a few of us whom the rest of junta have dubbed as 'old , boring' and 'not-so-cool' types. I find this damn irritating.

Some of those who have atleast tried to learn this formally are easily put off in a couple of days. I have had people come up and ask me :-
'so once i learn this, can I compose songs ? ' or
'You see,I dont want to sing pre-composed songs',
'In western music, people write their own songs,so isn't that far superior?'
'Ragas - whats in them ? Can I not use a computer and simulate all the possible combinations,what's the big deal ? '
'Why is Pa a Pa, why cant I sing it as Ma' ?

To such questions, I can only say what my Mom says at times to an inexperienced silly me - 'Adhika Prasangi'!! When one has not patience to pursue something that has evolved for ages, one is just being nonsensical. I try to tell them 'my dears,our music is not instant coffee that you can mix,pour water,stir and sip. Rather,it is a slowly percolated strong and sweet,stimulating cuppa 'Kumbakonam degree coffee' :) Hope you get the difference, my friends! And if you don't,do ask the West, will you ?
And if you thought the head-banging,power stuff that rocks us is 'fast-paced music',try listening to 'Vara Raaga Laaya' from GNB!

Learning to sing a raga or a kriti is like doing something repeatedly till you start doing it subconsiously, until it becomes a habit. This takes TIME, PATIENCE, DISCIPLINE and CONCENTRATION. You have gotta chase it!, no shortcuts as I have understood! Above all,this requires a "GURU",the teacher who brings out divine music from our otherwise-tormented souls. Solfa notation says 'ShankaraBharanam' is 'Sa Ri2 Ga3 Ma1 Pa Dha2 Ni3 Sa' but it can never show us the "beautiful way of singing" the 'Ga'.

P.S :- This blog is not an attempt to degrade any other musical form. Absolutely not!, once someone has "truly understood Carnatic music",appreciating any other form is implicit and automatic. This blog only tries to bring CM to the level of the others in terms of popularity! It would be perfectly ideal if every Indian who appreciates rock,pop, jazz,blues etc can also feel proud of the music from their backyards.

Damn, can I nver write shorter blogs ? I need to resolve that as well :)-

T V Shankaranarayanan at Fort

2007-04-20T11:56:00.000+05:30

I attended TVS Kutcheri yesterday at Fort High school, infact my first one this season(curse my lack of time management,my IPod which has better concerts than what we can ever get now and ofcourse Anand Ganapathy whose music sharing virtue is beyond words),not considering Nityasree's concert as a concert that is. More on that some other time. In short Nityasree is not appealing at all(pity the great DKP-DKJ baani), for some reason no josh in her singing.

Coming back to yesterday's concert,the concert list is as follows :-

1. Vinayaka kriti(I forgot the kriti,damn!) - Hamsadwani
2. Sogasujooda Tarama - Kannadagowla
3. Sakala graha bala neene - Atana
4. Paramapavana Rama - Purvikalyani
5. Abhaya Varade Sharade - Hindolam
6. Maa janaki - Kambhoji

I could not stay longer than this due to the lashing rains. Infact,hindolam was not so enjoyable because of the rains lashing and pitter-patter sound :( But somehow,the atmosphere was one of gaiety and his enthusiasm to sing without the rains affecting him in the least was exemplary. TVS stands tall as an artiste who continues to sing in orthodox style in this age of neo-carnatic-classicism.

Personally,it was an hour and half of 'peace of mind',something I'm willing to pay for also.. The mandali has changed quite a bit in the years,wooden floors which creak and irritate ,especially when you are engrossed in a complex alapanam or niraval and an electronic ticker that shows the next day's programme all the time. Nice lighting also. The pandals leak a bit still when it rains. The chairs are placed too close to one another. Space, space... I want to hear the artiste and not my neighbour's breathing :) Anyways, idols of Lord Sri Rama,Sita,Lakshmana and Hanuman prostrating is still the same, resplendent and colourful.The arati-giving tradition continues and the fragrance of flowers near the VIP entrance obviously there. One thing missing was the snacks stall - the guy selling potato chips,etc :(
On the whole, Sree Rama Seva Mandali,Fort High School is always dearest to my heart.
Next week is full of excellent concerts. Hope I don't miss!

Depression time - time for a chocolate..

2007-04-18T18:35:00.000+05:30

Having embarked on this journey to 'not expect from anyone',especially from people I love is a tough journey, am realizing. It is worth the effort yes, for it has made me me a more patient human being,understanding,a lot empathising and less egoistical. Also,the biggest advantage in having no expectations is that people don't fear coming close to you. :) A single woman is feared the most,I can tell from experience.

But at times, I have this really 'insane self' as I call it,surfacing up and causing hurt,a pain I can't explain. I feel proud of having my emotions in control but the price paid is a fight internally within myself.When I was younger,I was more brash and an emotional outpour was as easy as lighting a match. Over the years,I have learnt to 'keep it inside' as they say. But the voice of the subconsious haunts me,tries its best to destroy my self-created image of 'being in control'. It encourages me to expect,hurt and lose my self-control. It attempts to make me a 'not-so-nice' person. Thankfully,everytime me and my self fight, me wins :), so far,so good!

I want to go away to some place faraway, to the mountains maybe, and just stay as is. Someplace where I can hear only nature's voices and not mine,where there is nothing to expect from people. Somewhere on this planet where my subconsious-self has no say at all ? Is there a place like that ?

Am tired,not exactly depressed but you could call that.I need a chocolate,a bar of Cadbury's Fruit and Nut might be a good start. :) Afterall, there is a positive side to every damn thing in this universe.. Can you see me smiling now ?

kis kis ne kis kis ko KISS kiya...

2007-04-17T14:36:00.000+05:30

what's the big deal in a kiss man ? Men and women all over the world are kissing away to glory. What is so different(read as special) about a Richard Gere kissing a Shilpa Shetty ? Agreed,it was an uncalled-for occasion but the hormones don't really think about occasions, do they ? The media should stop filming such kisses and other public displays of physical affection.It doesn't really matter,you see. The world is a much freer place now and most normal adults or teenagers have witnessed or have been part of a passionate kiss at some point in their life. :) Be it on silver screen or in life's real screen, we all have seen better kisses,haven't we ? So much fuss for something that happens all over the world on a daily basis, is utterly stupid. And for all that, honestly, it wasn't even a nice kiss :) Man!,he was trying to grab everyone's attention by grabbing her and making a big mockery of himself as she was trying to free herself initially from his clutches but later gave in to his frenzied nonsense. All along,putting up a fake smile on her million dollar face :) Poor Shilpa,somehow she covered up,Richard Gere afterall! Scored a brownie point on her 'Page-3-Resume' she did! Or did she enjoy it ? I dunno, I thought she had the expression of 'I have been kissed better, you old fool!' look on her face.

As far as Richard Gere is concerned, I suggest he give up all this spiritual Buddhist thing and start living like a man!,he looks deprived of you-know-what ? But why ? He could get any woman on this planet,why poor Ms 'Celebrity Big Boss'? Ooops!, a small correction, he could get any woman on this planet but ME :) Not me, this guy doesn't even know how to kiss well,sorry I deserve someone better!!

Well,so much for kissing escapades of big people. Can't figure out why in Varanasi and other places people protested this event ? Why,in the land of Kamasutra, do we object to any sexual act as if it is a religious sin ? Why do we, who knew how to enjoy better sex, than rest of the world, care a damn for an ordinary common-place activity ?

Gear up,O media channels! there are better news to cover. No, I don't mean your goddamn sex-surveys,those suck equally and they are absolutely false! I mean,bigger problems like AIDS(everyone forgot the event that led to the KISS!),lack of sex-education,domestic violence and all kinds of crimes. When are we gonna come out of Page-3 stories to real-life trauma ? When are we going to stop peeking into the bedrooms of the rich and famous and figure out the real problems in common bedrooms ?

This country is on a wild-goose chase, thanks to its ever-blabbering media.

Beautiful world in a book - National Geographic

2007-04-16T11:47:00.000+05:30

Lay my hands on a 'National Geographic',the real book,over the weekend. It has been years since I picked up an 'NG' from Indian Institute of World Culture library. This time however,I purchased the book from my newspaperwallah. First thing that excites me about this magazine are the pictures. Photography of the best kind I have ever seen. The articles are unparalleled ofcourse,though I must say,the magazine is less heavier now.

An excellent article worth mentioning in this issue is the 'decreasing fish schools' in major fishing beds of this planet. The article highlighted the Blue fin Tuna and its diminishing population.It is going to be tough for those who survive on fishing.

Another really nice feature was about the last surviving 'green belt' of the world, the Priaries. Awesome pictures. On animals,there was one on Leopards. Unlike other wild creatures, these wild cats live alone, hunt alone. The feature very beautifully described the formative years of a baby leopard upto the time it fights with its mom and walks away on its own :) Some human resemblance there :)

An annual subscription request is on its way to Hong Kong...

a year later...

2007-04-12T11:08:00.000+05:30

A year has passed since our dear 'Annauru' left us to enter heavenly abode. It seems like only yesterday the riots happened,tarnishing the funeral ceremony and robbing the grieving family of their privacy. However,today the city seems to be actually mourning his loss. I saw posters all over on the way to work. Kanteerva stadium is going to have a big event today. I'm glad the film fraternity is doing this.

Dr Rajkumar may be no more but he lives eternally amongst us. For as they say,it is impossible to remove someone from one's thoughts. Memories of the golden age of kannada cinema often flood us and the figure that flashes across the screens of the mind is Dr Rajkumar!

I dedicate this blog to him. Today shall be spent listening to his songs :) as a mark of respect!

suno sajna....

2007-04-11T15:45:00.000+05:30

My previous attempt at learning to sing an old hindi movie song was around a decade ago. It all ended with college. Just last week I picked up a wonderful CD pack(5 nos) of none other than Lata Mangeshkar. All hits, almost all, I can say. A priceless collection, am proud to have.

It did not stop here..I was tempted to learn a song again. Not just the sing-along types but a serious effort to pick the nuances too. What an effort that is, for me, I just realized. Especially now, my voice has become a typical suited-for-carnatic,no regrets about that ofcourse, but I think people who know Indian classical music well can relate to what am saying.

Anyways, I tried 'Suno sajna papihene'. Having heard only the mukhda earlier,it was really new to me. It takes only a genius to sing this song,a better genius to compose this song and a really really superb effort to compose the music. Flawless,thats all! (Until the song started out from my vocal cords :) )

Finally, after 3 days of continous car-stereo,home music system and office comp looping this song for me,I managed to get some lines technically correct,though not musically :) Trust me, a car is the best place to learn a song for it serves as an excellent feedback monitor!(windows closed ofcourse)

For those who have heard this song and remember it,the line 'Ghadiya piya milan ki'.. is a jaaru gamakam,the toughest for me :( and similar lines in the other mukhdas.The easiest was 'Ke aaye din bahaar ke', somehow.

I have not and shall never get it 100%(because there is only one Lata Mangeshkar!), however, I have immensely enjoyed this learning experience. Even a 'jhalak' of exactness to the original means I'M HAPPY' :)-

how much thought-provoking is 'Provoked' ?

2007-04-10T11:25:00.000+05:30

Watched the movie 'Provoked' yesterday. For once, Aishwarya Rai has done an excellent job. The role had no need of histronics,hence our Ms Rai was able to carry it off so well, the subdued,scared,stiff Indian wife. Jag Mundhra might be a soft-porn/porn director but with this movie, he has shown a real issue very well. I don't want to play spoil-sport by retelling the tale. Also, because I recommend this movie,especially to the women out there!

Domestic violence,sexual assault,physical abuse,in-house rape is a realistic issue our society is facing,globally. The feminists might say 'Men are dogs' and blame them for this. On the contrary, I realized that the cause(and I mean the root cause!) for this is a WOMAN herself!

Women readers,don't be surprised, don't blame the men all the time. Instead, as socially responsible entities, can we do the following ?

1. Firstly,as wives,girlfriends or fiancees, we should NOT PUT UP with any form of violence from the stronger sex. If a man abuses us, just walk out and tell the whole world about it.(Watch the movie and see that if Kiranjit could do it, we could too!)
2. As sisters,let our brothers know that a woman from another household is just like one of us, and that if he cannot tolerate us being beaten up, then he should not do the same to another girl.
3. As friends,put it across to our men-friends that a woman is a human being first and to accord respect to a human being is more important than a succesful career or anything else in this world. If a man doesn't treat us well, just GET OUT and spill the beans! The world should beware of such people.
4. Most importantly, as mothers,bring up our sons to regard a woman and love her but DO NOT support any form of violence from his side. It is high time we stop the 'Beta hua hain','ghar ka chiraag','perpetrator of our lineage' attitude. This bloody virus is,IMO,the root cause for this disease.
5.As women,wherever there is domestic violence found, rise up to the occasion in some way,instead of warding it off with a 'cant be helped' nod. We need our men, yes, but we don't need them to hit us, we need them to give us support,respect and love.
Say this to a man :- 'I need U for a SHOULDER' (copied from the movie dialogue...)

sports and people.

2007-04-05T12:32:00.000+05:30

Sports is probably man's best known passion. Olympics stand proof of that. To play a game/sport is by itself an exhilarating activity. Watching a sport is great fun and de-stressing (provided it is done with sporting spirit!). Someone was not wrong when they said it is primarily a mind-driven activity,especially at world-class level. Yesterday watched several vidoes of World swimming championships on youtube(thanks to DBT's one blog!).Phelps was truly amazing and so was Liesel Jones and everyone out there. The power of discipline,hard-work,stamina and grit clearly marks a world-class player from the rest.I was so happy to see those people swim so well.Especially now,when I'm struggling with a simple breathing technique,I'm able to completly appreciate this so much better. FIFA last year was another reminder of the marvel of human spirit.
Having watched Navaratilova, Chris Evert,Lendl,Edberg,Sampras,Sabatini,Seles ,Agassi,Becker and THE STEFFI GRAF in those formative years went a long way in inculcating "LOVE for SPORTS" and for me,I look upto these greats. They are my biggest inspiration. Not to forget our Gavaskar,Kapil and all those cricketers who were and are still my heroes. These very people helped me build my own dreams.Watching them, I learnt the importance of stamina,mental strength ,concentration ,handling pressure and discipline. Thanks to these sports channels, we have access to almost every sport in the world - tennis,chess,badminton,billiards and ofcourse cricket, and many more too. I feel everyone of us need to associate ourselves to some sport atleast. There is so much one can learn from these superstars who have made it big with their dedication and perseverance. It is easy to think they had better opportunities than us,but in the end what matters is they went that extra mile in creating those opportunities for themselves while the rest of us simply waited for miracles to happen to us. They created their miracles and their destinies while we put it all on DESTINY.

If I were to live my life all over again, I choose to devote atleast 2 hours of my day to playing some game or sport and a lot more travelling to sporting destinations, across the globe. Pramod,prepare yourself to receive me soon :) I'm envious of you re...

I list down my favourite stars from my growing years. These are the ones I have known and am sure there is a bigger lot out there. It is to all of them, I dedicate this one.

1. Krish Srikkanth - the first cricketer I watched when I was in class 3 or 4.
2. Sir Viv Richards - The unforgettable LION of world cricket.
3. Ravi Shastri - the only star I have fallen madly in love with. He was the MAN :) yes, am talking of that first hero-worship crush of mine,the only-one perhaps..
4. Martina Navratilova - until I saw her, I thought only men played sports :)
5. Andre Agassi - the hippie with an attitude ,his energy was awesome.
6. Gabriela Sabatini - The glamorous girl on tennis courts who could stun THE STEFFI too..
7. Florence Griffith Joyner - 1988 Olympics(?) women's 100M in 9 something seconds (if my memory is right ).She was my idol those days. I would bow to her pic I had stuck up on my wall before going to my sports day event at school. (I was a track and field athlete at school for those who dont know !)
8. Sergie Bubka, Garry Kasparov,the Russian gymnasts - defined skill over power, aesthetics over athletic and more..
9. Matt Biondi - a swimmer I knew then.I wish I had got inspired then :(
10. Deigo Maradona - never watched football till I was in college but I remember reading about this guy as a kid..
11. The one and only STEFFI GRAF - It is difficult to discuss an icon, a legend, the personification of grace and skill,the silent killer among them all.She is my best till date..

This is not a best list,this is just my-list. I would love it if some sports buff adds his fave out here...

Some reality probably ?

2007-04-04T10:55:00.000+05:30

I have to tell this encounter I just had, half-an hour ago. I took an auto to work today as I had left my car at office last night. I waited for about 20 mins for an auto, very unusual in my area I thought as I was waiting,but in retrospect,I think I was destined to get into this auto KA05-3952 something. You will soon know why.

I left home in not-so-good a mood having had a counselling session with my mom on the usual-holy matrimony,what else!! As I sat in the auto, my mind was pre-occupied with so many confusing thoughts and emotions,I sometimes wonder why I haven't got accustomed to,it has been years now.. oops am digressing..well,I was preoccupied and a few involuntary tears were trying to escape my kohl-lined eyes in desperation.

Suddenly,I hear a voice asking me 'what time is it ?'. It was the auto-driver asking me for the time. I replied promptly, '10.40'. He then says 'I had to go and get an injection at 10.30 and have been trying to accumulate enough money for it since morning'. The tears stood still, they decided to stay back in my eyes when they heard this. I asked him 'what for?' He told me he had blood cancer and was diagonised a week ago. He ran his hand over his forehead indicating 'fate',whatever. I did not know what to say,what to believe.Could this be a guy who was playing a trick to get some extra money ? I don't know! He then says,'I haven't told this to anyone but you,I'm also a brahmin,an Udupi brahmin,I quit my job and took this up,I lost my mother about 2 months ago and my wife about 10 days ago.' I was dumbfounded. This man was telling a story I thought, but something inside me told 'No,no one can lie to this extent,it must be true'.It was too fantastic to be true, but I decided not to judge.I was sitting in his auto,having no choice but to listen to his side of things.Somehow,maybe my state of mind or the human in me,I can't figure out, I was trusting every word of his.I had no way of verifying his story though.The way he said 'am also a brahmin',made me wonder,how and why being a brahmin mattered to that person. Was he trying to make me relate using the caste-bonding ? I dunno. By now, I understood that at the end of the trip,I would have to part with a few more rupee notes than required.I had to, I would have anyways..

There was still an aorta of doubt in my mind, and I started asking him questions. I can say,I opened up.I saw less of him as a cheat and more as a human in pain with no one to help.He had no children and he was thankful for that.He had lost his entire family - wife and parents in the last 2 years.He had had a spine surgery that cost him all his savings and he showed me the mark on his back. He also had some heart-related problems and now this blood cancer in intermediate stage,I was told.
Everything was so piled up to be true,I was wondering, but sometimes,life is damn cruel,isn't it ? Why can't his story be true in every sense of the word ? He apologised to me for having spoilt my mood and told me he thought of me as someone close to relate to. I was touched because,I found some stranger trusting me with his deepest secrets and pain, when many a friend hasn't done this. I was shocked to be a part of this trust because it hurt badly. But then,I realized, this man has nothing except faith I suppose. Then he told me 'I have gone to Mantralayam and done seva to the Swami'. This was the final straw. For me, the swami of Mantralyam,Sree Raghavendra, is an epitome of truth and virtues and I trust him one hundred percent.
I couldn't help but believing every word of this man's. Not when, the Guru himself had said so,I felt.Call me weird ,dramatic and sensational,maybe I'm all this..

The Oracle building came into sight and I knew the toughest moment had come for him and for me. If he were an honest man,I knew it would be tough to ask for more money in these circumstances.Any man with integrity will find it tough. For me,it was a question of belief, between truth and falsehood. If this was a drama, I had supported a crime in my weakest moment and my biggest fear was 'I did not know enough'.. he asked me for 200 Rs explicitly for his injection and promised to return it.I simply took it out and handed it to him. I asked him to take care and trust in God and the Mantralayam Swami. I walked into the building and displayed my badge to the security.

I had blindly trust the words of a stranger. Forgive me Oh Lord if I have committed a crime.

(I was thinking about 'TRUST' which my mom spoke about in an arranged marriage...)

The writer in me..

2007-04-01T09:58:00.000+05:30

I must thank my blog-readers for who they are, for what they are, for reading my thoughts,commenting,for sharing that perspective or denying them. I have ironed out the creases by writing. My thoughts are falling into place, especially the negative ones seem to disappear magically the moment,I put them on internet-paper.I never really knew how powerful writing can be,no matter how prolific or ordinary it is. Since last few days,I have wanted to write a bestseller(probable!),an extraordinarily over-confident me, I agree. Theoritically, if I were to write a book,let me pen down atleast a few titles :

1. Rich chocolate cake - Truths about raising..
(Self-deprecating humor on my cake baking stints in the past listing atleast 100 dont's)

2. Parents never grow up - not now,not forever...
(A war of words/worlds describing the best relationship in this world ? )

3. The mind sees what it wants to see...
(Psychological thriller maybe..not sure still.)

4.Arranged-marriage - how to say 'YES' in one day..
(A thorough analysis of how to say 'YES' and why not to say 'YES',paradoxical to the core.)

5.The art of negative-hope -
(Complete guide to hoping/doing something that you don't wish to happen so that Murphy's Law acts quick and fast.. )

One/five more additions to the heap of self-help books on this planet..

Disclaimer : If any of these titles exist,I dont want to do a la Kavya Vishwanathan...

Natural selection..

2007-03-30T16:58:00.000+05:30

Had a lengthy chat with S this morning. Conversations with him make me feel as if I have walked into a labriynth. He psyches me out with his strange and eerie ideas which am afraid will cling on to me and become mine!! To say the least, he is goddamn convincing though.

Today it started with some allergy he had. I started saying 'oooo so sad' 'why don't u try Homeo,blah blah' in my usual 'I care for you' tone. :). Out suddenly comes an answer 'By natural selection,my grandfather should not have survived'!! How the hell should this make sense ? am standing there feeling like a fool...

Then he explains,how the recessive gene of allergies was now passed on to him from his ancestors. Fair enough! But suddenly he springs and says 'Medical science is responsible for this', and am standing there clueless 'how on earth can medical science' cause his allergies ? If anyone could cure it for him, it would be the doctor...he psyches me out really!!

Coming to how medical science can do otherwise,this is what the-great-guy asks me: 'Take a hypothetical case, you have developed cancer in your eye and the doctor has told you that if you don't remove the tissue,it will spread all over your body,what will you do ?'

Me: 'Of course,get it removed'

S: 'See you are viewing the body as an entity and hence to preserve the entity,you are ok to eliminate a part of it. I'm viewing the entire world as an entity and for this world to have healthier genes in the coming generation,it must be exterminated of the bad genes. Now,people with healthier genes are mating with the non-healthy ones and this has reduced the overall-gene-health of our population, and medical science is keeping people alive when they should have left this world long ago..'
By this time,I had dropped dead.. this man is known for his bizarre thinking I knew but, this was heights!!! Personally, he is humanitarian in nature,but his ideas are ruthlessly barbaric :) I was gladly praying that he did not turn up in some higher office of power...

This kind of conversation sparked a dormant interest in me,of the pure sciences. I was always a big fan of pure science and research in topics like genetics,astrophysics,microbiology and history and I must thank this sweet guy for renewing this interest in me. He is widely read though,this man, no wonder he has some ideas.I came back with a small piece of paper bearing the names of two excellent books on the matter.. More about those after I read them...

S - you rock dude!!!

Ramnavami and Bangalore...

2007-03-28T08:34:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was Sri Ramnavami and during this time, entire Bangalore is geared up for celebrating the birth of Lord Sree Rama. The festival is marked by the distribution of diluted butter-milk ,lemonade and lentil salad. Pandals ae put up and pujas are held. Awesome season,spring afterall!! Our city resounds with Carnatic music during this time and the concert season in Bangalore now is comparable to the December season in Chennai.

To my knowledege, there are about 10 Sabhas all over the city. The most popular are Fort High School Grounds,Chamarajpet and the Seshadripuram College Grounds. To perform here is a matter of honour. It is amazing to see tradtion being continued for more than 75 years out in these places.

For me personally,this is the day on which my dear grandpa was born. He lived life like the Lord himself,simple and unassuming. I love the smell of mango leaves,the butter-milk and jasmine. This used to be the time our summer vacation would begin. I recall how we would sleep really late and when we woke up, th sun would be blazing hot and the house would be full of bright light.The scent of summer is characterised by various flowers that blossom at this time.

During the evening,it would always be music. Getting well dressed and going upto the venue, meeting old aquaintances,making new friends whom I term as casette buddies has always been the nicest part of my life. I started attending these concerts about 17 years ago. This part of my life has been one of the best,I can claim. During the years when I just started to appreciate Carnatic music,these venues gave me some brilliant music in the form of Maharajapuram Santhanam, Nedanuri Krishnamurthy,Yesudas,Sanjay Subramanyam ,Sudha Raghunathan,Nityasree Mahadevan ,Sowmya,Mysore Nagaraj and Manjunath,Prof T N Krishnan including the greatest M S Subbulakshmi. Unfortunately, I heard the divine voice in person only once, the year was 1992 I guess.

Today my life is a lot different from then. The concerts have got diversified,more sabhas have sprung up, I have become too busy to attend many concerts,my life and interests have also broadened,etc, in short, I can say life is more complex!! The job,the car,the friends,the fun,the relationships,expectations,downfalls,shocks,thrills,let-downs,most importantly the ego - each of these have succeeded in moving my life away from what I term simple. But every year,come spring and the birthday of Lord Sree Rama, atleast for a month or so, am taken back to that life of simplicity,of good old music,of tradition only to be reminded of the core value system Hinduism has.

There is a big black-hole in my living inspite of the job,car,money,friends,fun and my pursuits. I have been doing things I like and wanting to do for years now. I have succeded in some and failed miserably in others. The hole seems to get wider by the day and at times it appears to engulf me. I have tried to dig at the root cause of this void (in a typical s/w enginner style) only in vain. Just a couple of days ago, the final nail was hit which left me in a state of shock and clueless about my priorities in life. Sitting down and taking stock of the situation,I realized that the only thing missing in my existence was 'SPIRITUALITY' and it is a big thing. It is the only thing that answers every question I pose. It is the only thing that makes me truly happy. For,it has nothing to do with people. It is a wondeful connection to a long lost space in this vast universe called 'Atma', in other words to the ONE residing in there! I realize that if I indulge in this, I will be happier no matter what other pursuits of the world fail. And the best thing about this is, it is not a replacement for whatever materialistic,instead, it is a way of interpreting every materialistic pursuit!!

Somehow Lord Rama still has his effects on us after so many years, what ?

peace-knocking-at-my-door
-Rekha

can someone please fix Bermuda Vs Bangladesh for me ?

2007-03-24T02:45:00.000+05:30

It was less than a week ago I had an argument over India's loss to Bangladesh.
My worst fears came true today when India just now lost to Sri Lanka.I have seen enough Indian cricket (seen as in watched ball by ball) for 2 decades and it was with practical forethought that I was condemning India playing so badly against Bangladesh. (I said something to the effect of quote 'if Ind wins SL, everything is fine, but if Ind loses to SL, we shall know the value of the Bangladesh match!' unquote)

Philosophically thinking,(which is what is left to do now ) sometimes the best opportunities come free and come easy too,we always kick them away waiting for better chances,only to be fooled and deprived of the bare essentials later on...

I don't blame the Indians for today,I can't forgive them for the 17th!

now I only hope someone has fixed the Bangladesh vs Bermuda match....does life give a second chance ?

(not that my opinions matter to anyone...)

-devastated-at-2.30-me

storytime...

2007-03-20T17:58:00.000+05:30

a story is a wonderful experience - for the storyteller and the audience. It is so much fun to narrate one to a small group of kids :) and see them gape and wonder..

Recently DBT narrated a story to me.. I liked it and I cant figure out why.I present it here hoping that my readers might also like it.. DBT, am cutting out on details because I can't write as nicely as you narrated :)

...there were 3 trees in a forest. All three of them desired to be of use to someone great, i.e ,for making some wooden thing to be used by someone really big, mighty and powerful. They prayed and prayed for their dreams to be realized. Eventually,the tree-cutters arrived and chopped all three of them.

Tree A went on to become the cot of an emperor and he was very glad that his dreams were fulfilled. He thanked his stars and felt damn lucky. He continued to serve the king forever.

Tree B was shaped into a boat and was caught in a storm once with someone on board. That someone was able to stop the storm single-handedly and seeing this Tree B was astonished. He then realized that his dream was also fulfilled. His joy knew no bounds, for he concluded that anyone who could manage a storm in an ocean was indeed a great man..

Tree C was felled and left in the bazaar for many days with no buyers. He felt very very bad and was down with pain. He wasn't able to fathom why he lost when his dreams were as passionate as the others'. He prayed,cursed,wondered,cried and eventually stayed as is, waiting for an absolution,that never seemed to come...

One day,a group of men were desperately looking for wood to make two long planks. The planks had to be strong for they were going to be used for a special task, unheard of before. They had to tie up the planks in such a way so as to make a 'T' shape and hoist it up the ground. They scooted around the bazaar and not finding anything ready-made,picked up Tree C's wood and shaped it accordingly. Then, a man was made to haul the planks all the way up and upon reaching a certain place wherein a group had gathered to cheer and jeer,they did something totally strange... THEY NAILED THE MAN TO THE PLANKS FORMING THE Tee....

and the rest is history...

Footnotes: DBT,I can't thank you enough for narrating this to me.

Turned over a new leaf today.....

2007-03-19T12:01:00.000+05:30

I dunno where to begin and what to write, rather what not to write because so many thoughts are circling in my head.. Bob Woolmer dead! - splashed across all TV channels today and the first news on New Year's was this :( Terrible is how I felt, for the man who died was no ordinary one in the game of cricket. He was an icon,a coach who founded a concept,new to the cricket world, one of systematic,methodical,analytical approach to bettering cricketers and their careers and the sport as a whole.

Two days ago,India lost to Bangladesh at the word go. To see a young Bangladesh enjoy the fall of an Indian batsmen(supposedly the best in the world),not once but multiple times over,in quick succession,reminded me of a young Pakistan years ago,the difference simply being that this time around, it was the Pakistan on the eastern side. It was the same fervour and fire within to be the best on that day, I have seen in the eyes of a Miandad or an Akram ages ago.

On the same day,a bigger tragedy struck. Pakistan lost to Ireland,thus losing their honor, chances in WC and above all ,a fantastic coach! Pakistan lost in the real sense because even today, many of us rate them as the potential danger unit in this game. Until now, we did. Today,things are different. Neither do they possess the ability to fight back like they did in 1992 and lift the cup,nor do we possess the ability to meet them in a semi/quarter final World Cup match,a virtual final for any Indian or Pakistani cricket fan..In short, we both lost!,as the papers said, together we lose... :)

Who is to blame ? No one,because after all this is a game and in sports such things happen. Everyone, because it is we (collectively fans,media and general public) who hyped up this game and turned it into a lucrative business. Vishwanathan Anand has done India proud just at the time when a Tendulkar or a Dravid or a Sehwag has let us down. Yet we don't care. Our hockey team is treated like s*** outside because we dont provide them with enough gear and support. It is we, who let noodle straps interfere with an in-depth analysis post-match, by experts. We are the ones who enjoy casual,double-meaning comments spawned by a mediocre cricketer and term it 'Siddhuism', while an Imran sits helplessly waiting for his turn to mouth some genuine cricketing ideas.Mandira Bedi or Sidhu is not a personal target but it is unbearable to see professionalism being replaced by mediocrity, class replaced by common, the gentleman replaced by a rogue..And we are responsible!

In a way am glad this happened. WC 2007 is a moment afterall and 4 years down the line there will be another WC and life will move on.. Bob Woolmer will receive his sympathies and tributes and Pakistan will get a different coach. Flintoff will probably quit drinking or quit playing, depending on which is more important. India's loss will be forgotten in a day or two hopefully, if we get back into the groove after this jolt ( we Indians need a slap afterall to realize ! ) or if India go the Pak way, we will all get back to normal within one week of frenzied media hoopla,someone will lift the World Cup and that someone appears to wear yellow...( form is of no consequence when u are damn lucky!)

What will change will the be the attitude of cricket fans, I hope. As I can speak for myself, I will venture to write down my new resolutions with respect to this game, hoping that every cricket fan will extrapolate this.

1. Cricket is a game, just as much as chess, tennis or hockey is.
2. Sachin is no God, he is a class player, nearing his retirement and having played enough takes it easy many a time, so it is time for me to move on beyond him.
3. Dravid is an excellent sportsman but he might be a better coach than a captain.
4. From now on, I shall watch every match India plays ( in Hockey ofcourse), atleast attempt at understanding Indian Hockey.
5. Bangladesh and Ireland are upcoming teams and it will be interesting to watch their growth in the years to come.
6. I will try to watch cricket matches telcast on DD rather than Sony Max for the simple reason that I can watch the complete over and also the wickie walking half-way across, however bad the transmission is.
7. I will not buy Pepsi,Coke,Anchor switch,toothpaste,jam,shoes,Bournvita,Boost ,anything that is endorsed by the Men in Blue.
8. I will no longer consider a day off for an India-Pak match,rather will want to watch an Ind-Bermuda or a Ind-Ireland in the future. Or Bangladesh ofcourse...
9. I will not bribe God during an Ind-Pak match :)
10. I vow to be a sports fan rather than a cricket fan,taking every game with a pinch of salt and a spirit of sportsmanship..

May the best team win WC 2007..

P.S :- My previous blogs on cricket stand null and void :)

Nostalgia...

2007-03-16T20:53:00.000+05:30

I grew up on music, am sure most of my blog-readers would know by now. Surprisingly for you, it wasn't Carnatic music! I grew up on old hindi film songs mostly,the others came only later.

My first memories of the golden-era of hindi films were on that LP gramaphone system my dad had. ( he still does but it doesn't work anymore :( ) Of the many things am grateful to dad for, this one is one the top :)

My growing-up days were fun-filled in a different sense. Lots of play,lots of fun,both in real sense. Come summer and I can still visualise my sis and I playing all day on the streets, then return forcibly in the evening to amma's calls only to wash up, eat and then listen to THE ALBERT HALL,London LP of Lata Mangeshkar's. This one was a big recording, two LPs with live talk of greats of Indian cinema interspersed with Lata's golden voice. Some memorable songs from that LP :-

1.Aaeyegaa Aaanewaala ( with that small 'Khaamosh hain zamaana' piece in the beginning - the ultimate I have heard so far..)
2.Aaja re paradesi ( my all-time fave)
3.Piya bina piya bina ( visualise a young Jaya Bhaduri surpassing tall and lanky Amitabh with her class!! )
4.Yeh Shaam ki Tanhayiaan (Lata's young voice is unparalleled here!)

so many more..

Then would follow the movie-specific LPs. My dad has around 100 LPs of old movies!! which he collected as a bachelor,when he started working,he tells me. I'm in awe of that period, of those days.. When life must have been simple,when people used to sit together and listen to music and feel the heart-beat of the movie made miles away in Mumbai..Guess Mumbai dreams were born that way to many people who later went on to make it big in Bollywood...

My stint with hindi film music increased by the passing of the day until it grew on us( my sis and me) and we started out on our own, ofcourse this time we had the luxury of a tape recorder and casettes.At one point, we had more casettes than books!!

Those days, when we had power-cuts, 'Antakshari' took upon us like a storm. We used to emit out all the songs we had learnt so far :) and play on for hours even after the lights came back. Duets,sad-songs,Lata,Asha,Kishore,Rafi,everything and everyone..

Teenage kicked in and the hormones went hither thither :) It is so funny to ever imagine I went through that phase.. Never fell in love then but as SP says, romance is a subject dear to all and teenage years give you the kick :) :) That's the time, when I fell in love with songs in raag 'Pahaadi'. It does something to me even today...amazing how they knew to compose a love/romantic duet in this raag and get the 'just right effect'..

Somewhere amidst all this,Carnatic music came into my life. Slowly the hindi songs started taking a back seat,not because I din't like them anymore but more because the newness and unique musical appeal of Carnatic, demanded my attention and took me away,I would say.

This is not a regret but there are moments when I long to hear those old numbers and go back in time when life was more colourful..I long to think of myself as Madhubala in Mahal,Waheeda Rehman in Guide,Jaya Bhaduri in Abhimaan,Nargis in Aah or Sadhna in Mera Saaya,a melodious number playing in the recesses of my soul, me lost in the beauty of Kashmir or the valleys of Himachal,snow-capped mountains and rivers,free in spirit,romantic at heart....

my feelings at the moment reflect this song from 'Noorie'(1979,YashRaj Films)

dard jagaaye meetha meetha, armaan jaage jaage..
pyaar ki pyaasee mein diwaani kuch na sochu aage...
aaja re.. aaja re O mere dilbar aaja
dil ki pyaas bhujaa jaare..
.....

[Dedicated to my dearest friend Sheeja who has kept the flame of 'old hindi music' alive in me :) SP dear, you were so wise when you said to me once,'Rex,Romance is a subject and it never dies thus...']

T Muktamma is no more - Obituary (delayed)

2007-03-16T11:28:00.000+05:30

She was the one of few of 'that generation' with a grand lineage of music and dance. Unparalleled in javalis and padams which her school was renowned for,a lot of contemporary musicians used to frequent her home and learn even very recently.

May her soul rest in peace.

You have just won yourself 100$

2007-03-15T09:45:00.000+05:30

i lost all my pictures taken from my digicam in the last 3 years. No trace of them on my office comp, on my usb hard disk, on my laptop and definitely erased from my digicam !!!

i need sympathy... visit this blog of mine and for every comment you give, you will get 100$ worth gift coupons.....

-devastated-self-sympathising-no-hope-of-recovering-them-
-tragedy-struck-stupidest-idiot-on-earth-me

Footnotes and morals....
1. Never clean up your comp..
2. Never have too many backups, none of them help when you need them most..
3. Never take pictures( this one is just a filler... somehow I need atleast 3 points silly me...)

my mood at present : self-pity,angry,amused...

Hungry kya ?

2007-03-14T08:24:00.000+05:30

...with permission from AV, am presenting this poem penned by the great actor Kamal Hassan. These are a few lines, yet they speak volumes of the ingenuity of this man - Kamal Hassan - in my opinion one of the finest actors the world has ever produced..

AV has been kind enough to translate this for me in English(thanks buddy!).

"Manidha kadalile oru nal
En chinna thoondilil
Sikkinar sila Nyanigal
Andreno pasiyillai
Samayalukku aalumillai
Kadalileye vittuvittu
karai nokki viraindhu vitten
- Kamal Hassan

ONE DAY IN THE SEA OF HUMANITY,
IN THE HOOK OF MY FISHING ROD,
A FEW SCHOLARS GOT HOOKED,
SOME HOW I WASNT HUNGRY THAT DAY,
ANYWAYS NOBODY HOME TO PREPARE TOO,
SO I LEFT THEM BACK IN THE SEA,
AND WENT BACK ASHORE SOON
- Translaton by Anand Vanchi

Life presents us wonderful opportunities in the form of relationships. The best and the worst in us is determined by the people who come into our life. Many a time,as Kamal here says,we are not hungry and leaving them aside, we come ashore not realizing that we have just lost a chance to better ourselves. Every relationship that we make,be it an aquaintance, a friendship, a lover, a spouse,determines just how much we are gonna progress in our life...A good fish and our meal is the best, a bad one, our meal is ruined, yet we have a chance to make a better meal the next day.
Worst is, when we are not hungry!,and we give vague reasons like 'none to cook the fish' as the poet puts it so beautifully.(a great metaphor for vague excuses we give !)
- 2 cents for my synopsis.

I would love to hear, maybe different interpretation than mine.. That's the fun of reading poetry isn't it ?

marriage woes for Liz.. I find it funny and silly...

2007-03-13T18:00:00.000+05:30

just read on indiatimes that Liz Hurley Nayyar who married thrice (the same guy ofcourse!!) is already having problems with her mother-in-law.. so funny.. the media would have been one lucky bastard had it not been World Cup season...

Lizzie,(apologies to Jane Austin for using this nickname)
wrong timing baby!!

To the Wall and his boys in blue...

2007-03-12T10:52:00.000+05:30

Dear Rahul,

I wish you bring home the World Cup this time atleast for the following reasons :-

The media has spent so many millions on you and your boys and your families and your wives' families in bringing them to the TV, asking them questions, tarot reading,blah blah, have some regard for that ok ?

You yourself have come on NDTV, 24by7, Aaj Tak and all their brother and sister channels telling all junta in your ever-professional manner, in very many ways that you will get back the Cuppa for us.., keep up your word..remember you are THE HONEST man out there...one of the last surviving gentlemen in the game-for-not-so-gentlemenly...

You have strived so hard to see that your dearest pal, Veeru is included even though playing cricket is the last thing on Veeru's mind at the moment.. With this one,dear Rahul,I feel you may have made your life's biggest mistake!! but let me not discourage you, afterall hope is life and life is cricket and cricket is WC at the moment..

I know and fully agree that your team is one of the best as of now, especially with the Down-Unders being down and under but dont you forget that 4 years ago, you were almost degraded by the simple Kenyans in the very first match and this time around, you are playing our friendly neighbours from the east who are not so dangerous like our friendly neighbours from the west so..dont you dare be over-confident.. ufff...

Coming to the friendly neighbours from the West, there is little chance you will not be playing them on April 15, anyways, am glad it is Sunday and not a Friday :) but that doesn't mean you can give your bat away.. on this front,am a little more confident owing to your history, however it is my duty to forewarn you...

Most importantly, you have to win the WC because Guru Greg, your teacher for the moment,has been paid such a huge 'Gurudakshina',not by you but by the entire country ... and now is the time to give back. Understand that money rules and is the most important commodity in world cricket today (you know it by heart by now!!)

and,don't forget to tell that little guy in your gang that it is his last chance to pack away his enemies-with-the-microphone to the moon or Mars or wherever. If he doesn't,he can go back to his upmarket kitchen and cook for the rest of his life..and then also tell him that if he doesnt play now, he will become 'the little man' litrally!!

Finally, remember that lots of Gods and Godesses up above are also helping you this time.. especially with all the bribes they have been getting, it would be stupid and un-Godly to not respond,wouldn't it ? So,use that to your advantage, don't forget to bribe them before you pick up the bat and walk into the stadium...ask your boys to do the same too,it helps you know when everything else fails...

Some do-s and dont-s for you personally (as if all this isnt enough)
1. Don't bite your nails no matter what.. it is a bad habit..
2. Don't keep that 'about-to-weep' face when Inzi is on the crease, learn some coolness from instead.... (Substitute Inzi with anyone else... doesnt matter!!)
3. Don't fight with Dada, he has fire-in-the-belly this time;use it to your advantage
4. Don't do everything Guru says,afterall he is also a human.. ofcourse,you can always make up later by chanting 'Gurur devo bhava'
5. I know you bat well (that's why am writing this letter) but can't you bat faster please ? You are wearing blue and the ball is white, don't forget that yaar...
6. Practise before your matches, don't sit there and swim,surf or ogle at those beauties, they aren't going to give you the Cup...
7. Learn to lead my dear Rahul, No one seems to take notice of you... Your word is the last one,drive that to their heads.. especially that Veeru.. oh how afraid I'm of his abilities...
8. Trust those children - Robin,particularly. I like him..
9. Have you given enough thought to them ? oops! I mean the 5 musketeers who bowl ?
Make it six at times of emergency, the little guy is unpredictably smart in situations.. remember Hero Cup finals ?

Last last one.. when u get the Cup which I think u will after all his hammering, don't remove your shirt and fling it.. you are a criceketer not a male model...

That's all, I know you dislike me for writing this long letter, but Rahul,I'm your big big fan, so you see I'm concerned for you..

ok bye and all the best....

fanning you forever...
-Rekha

Chinna chinna aasey...............

2007-03-07T22:47:00.000+05:30

these are a few of my small dreams...

writing a bestseller that wins me a booker prize(without using hi-fi language or vocab)

Walking in the monsoons along a mountain path with man of my dreams (not fearing catching a cold or a fever)

listening to Lata Mangeshkar's hits all day long on radio (with no commerical breaks and stupid nonsensical RJ'ing )

meeting a person who looks like me, talks like me and acts like me (who doesnt sing like me )

seeing the world by the age of 50 (and still call India my home)

baking a rich chocolate cake and see it getting eaten away in minutes (without the cake cracking away in the center )

gazing at the ocean from sunrise to sunset (without getting a sunburn or a bumburn!!)

winning the muncipality elections in V V Puram (without chicken biryani and beer distribution!! )

to be a mom to identical twin girls (whenever that happens!!)

execute a Khanda nadai RTP in Kambodhi to perfection at the Music Academy (without missing a tala )

to cook a 5 course meal for my mom and dad on a Sunday (without asking mom for salt measure)

have my own salad bar in V V Puram's food street :) ( a salad for Rs 2 )

to visit all the shrines in India (ending with the Shringeri Sharadamba temple on a Friday )

to direct a movie a la Kukunoor style (no frills attached sorts)

to converse in French with a Parisian man (*wink*)

scale Mt Everest and call out 'coooooooo who's there ?' from the top!!( to hear an echo 7 times in succession...)

win a 100m swimming competition ( beat the champions ofcourse!! )

spend eternity with my grandpa in his room amidst his books,radio,box,photographs,letters responding to his calling me 'sonamma'...( am crying now!!)

the list goes on.. but I cant write anymore after the last one.. If God were to grant me one wish, I would want my dearest grandpa back forever...Aja, I love u and miss you like hell..

All the World(Cup)'s a stage

2007-03-06T08:05:00.000+05:30

All the world(Cup)'s a stage,
And all the men (and no women ) merely cricket players:
They have their exits(off the pavilion) and their entrances(onto the crease);
And one man in his time plays many parts(all-rounders),
....
...
Last scene of all,(the final ofcourse!)
That ends this strange eventful history,(of repeating itself ?? )
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,(of fighting spirit?)
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. ( sans Mandira Bedi&Co )

-William Shakespeare's remix(remake) poem!!

If Shakespeare were to rewrite this grand poem with WC 2007 in view,it perhaps would be on these lines.(pun intended)

The ICC has already drawn up the Super 8 schedule based on ratings so far and as per that one,India plays Pakistan on a Sunday in April and the like. Rediff says this pre-determined, setup is to boost TV ratings,what else ?

Even before a ball is bowled,the last 8 have been sieved out, tcheee.. To think am planning to take vacation to watch these ICC orchestrations suck!! Damn that ICC and the bunch of idiots sitting there who probably suck up to the TV bosses..

The WC 2007 should be boycotted by the other 8 who have been asked play night-watchmen. What a pity,we dont have cricket played for its sake anymore!!
Even the India Vs Pak match raises eyebrows, what if some bizarre reasoning already inplace to ensure Pak loses ??

Two cents for the weirdest reason for Pak losing the Super 8 match to Inda...

how about a boosting beer/liquor sales during the celebrations (in case of Pak loss)
in the aftermath of the match (a la 1996 Bangalore ) thus giving Vijay Mallya enough money to procure more aircraft with skimpier hostesses,leading to a new reality TV show titled 'Big Hoss(tess)' wherein contestants are thrown into a flying aircraft for 3 months with no contact with the earth below, the winner gets a
job in Mallya's private aircraft ? This show could be the next talk of the town and
TV bosses want just enough capital generated via ratings to start this reality show (reality and show are so ironical *wink*)

Isnt this a practical reason for Pakistan to lose in the Super 8 ? Come on, forget that we have been their arch rivals in cricket and that a good Ind-Pak match is a sweet memory no matter who wins..all crap... TV rules and ratings are our Gods....

All the World(Cup) is a stage...

P.S : Anyone with weirder reasoning is welcome :)

old-school-cricket-fan
-Rekha

Flavors.... of an Indian....

2007-03-05T22:35:00.000+05:30

Watched this verry verry nice movie on Saturday. Every bit of it is well made. For facts,this is a movie about the Indian Diaspora in the 'US of A' ,in layman terms, 'NRI'. The movie is outright funny,sweet,snappy and comical. No tones/undertones/semitones of garishness(wrong word usage ??) of the likes of Gurinder Chaddha and that in my opinion makes a movie of this kind cool in its real sense..

Flavors deals with, well.. FLAVORS with a capital letter all through;of a dozen odd people,Indian in true core context settled/living in the "land of opportunities" (as told by one of the grad student character here :))

1.a couple whose son is getting married to an American girl and who have made a trip from India to see him say "I do",
2.a pair of friends,a guy and a girl,who,nature has destined,can hardly be friends and yet try to mask emotions of a different kind under the guise of friendship until the bubble bursts,
3.a trio who study their Masters but know they are useless after that too and try to make their most out there,
4.a newly married couple-the typical girl-from-India-married-to-NRI-now-a-bored-housewife and a NRI-boy-just-lost-his-job-after-marriage case,
5.a tomboy who carries in her wallet a picture of Lord Hanuman,yet can drown tequila shots like a thirsty Arab drinking water from the oases of a desert(pardon my attempts at dramatic metaphors!)
6.a wannabe-entreprenuer who tries to arrange his match with the girl in 2 above ( thats how the bubble burst for guy in 2 above :) :) )
7. An American girl who fraternises with her Indian MIL and FIL to-be (am sure we know what this means!)
8. a grad student who is hopelessly in love and out of it,who resembles a typical grown-up-on-Indian-movies lad for whom a girl glancing out of an eye-corner means she loves him!! (I pity this poor guy the most)

Above all, Flavors brings all these people together in 'The Wedding'. The movie is a must watch for its light-hearted approach to cinema yet for its brilliant portrayal of life in USA for us Indians and the emotions of the young and the free in the land of freedom. What I liked here most is it does not in the least condemn NRIs (for I find that damn hypocritical ),yet shows the shallowness of life out there but ends on a nice note of 'All's well that ends well' types. Most importantly it shows that no matter where we are, human emotions are the same - complex and simple,sweet and sour and that Indians are Indians!! (both postive and negative sense)

I wud recommend this movie to all.

If...

2007-03-01T09:18:00.000+05:30

this keeps me going when everything stops....( one of the best poems ever written IMVHO)

-Rekha

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

Pre-Budget blues

2007-02-28T08:16:00.000+05:30

Today is the annual budget.. I always look forward to it as I try to understand finance and economics. Sis being almost-a-CA helps a lot!! The world of finance is very dynamic and complex. This year, I wonder what the budget is gonna be like. The morning of the budget is usually an anticipatory one,the newspaper stays longer than usual in one's hand :) I heard that tax exemptions on investments might go up to a lakh and a half. Thats good news.

What interest me most though is investment in agriculture and defence. I strongly believe that India is primarily an agricultural economy and that if we dont take care of food production,(includes irrigation,water conservation et al ) sooner or later, we will be importing onions,rice,wheat and exporting roses for Valntine's Day!!,or even exporting software in exchange for food..

At the same time, defence is the most important sector today for India.I'm never happy with allocation to defence sector;hope this year around,with the aero-show and other aviation effects looming at large,we get more money to boost up our defence infrastructure.

Talking of the railway budget,whats working behind ??? "Railway Budget 2007" is the eighth wonder of the world :) I have heard mixed opinions on this one.. Some people say Lalu writes the account books of the Indian Railways himself!! and some say(these are usually students of MBA who happened to listen to his lecture in IIM or got to hear of it!!) that he worked his way up.Well,am not qualified enough to comment, but if it is true that IR posted profits, am damn happy!!

It is however noteworthy to see that trains are getting better and better. Even the small town connection ones. The nicest invention on the last train I boarded two days ago is this :- The toilets have a 'flush'(not a tap!) attached right above the damn 'commode' hanging by a long pipe(that's been there before!),so it makes it lot easier :) :) (we all know the clumsiness of toilets in our trains, dont we ? ) oops!! am digressing,I will write another one on the nicieties and oddities of our trains, am sure will make interesting read...

anyways, one thing is sure about today's budget,it will be vote-bank friendly no matter what! What with INC losing out in many states, they better promise rosy pictures atleast((with invisible thorns)!

Fort St George and God's Own country

2007-02-26T13:03:00.000+05:30

wish life was as simple for me. last two days have been one of the best days of my life.. 2 days with my guru has been exhilarating, inspiring, educative, informative,happy and all that is positive :) This is called 'positive energy' I suppose..

Saturday morning was a lonesome journey to Chennai ,Lalbagh Express AC seater. :)
I sat the whole 5 hours reading an Agatha Christie. To sit without speaking to anyone for 5 hours at a stretch is something I rarely do...

Stepping foot into Chennai, you can feel the heat hitting you at face, but this time around it was a lot pleasant,nevertheless, the arrival at Chennai Central station always floods me with memories of childhood at my mausi's place. How eagerly we used to prance about in the train right from 'Basin Bridge' and look out of the grilled windows, hunting for our cousins on the platform (who would invariably come to pick us up) and upon spotting them, we would just jump from the train on to their arms;how the heat would cause beads of sweat to trickle through my nose. Upon arrival at home, we would just jump crazily onto my aunt's lap and laugh laugh laugh...
These memories always happen to me in Chennai Central and never falls short of bringing tears to my eyes...

Then, went to my guru's daughter's house in Besantnagar situated about 500m from the beach. A hearty lunch and then off to Mylapore and Sripuram to buy a couple of books on Carnatic music. No trip to Chennai can be complete without a foot into Mylapore I suppose. Evening had a peaceful 45 minutes at the beach with S, talked about this and that,about freedom,marriage and how the two must coexist blah blah.....

The ocean has the most humbling effect on me. If I had been alone, I probably would have cried my heart out to seas. The grief inside me would have found an outlet it needs. When you cry in front of the ocean, you dont pretend, you dont care, you are not embarassed and you are not judged/misjudged.. and above all, you are not asked to stop crying. But these tears shall have to wait for the next oceanic opportunity :)

After a dinner cooked by my guru,we set off for God's own country to Kottakal. My guru had a concert there and well it was a 'Chamber concert', a class of its own.In the train, maami and I discussed so many things and I must say that her wit is the best,I have seen in a woman of her age.I'm so happy and the happiness is pure and borne out of "love for her music and her commitment to it."

Kottakal is about 16km from a place called Tirur.Our excellent host met us on time and led us to his house which also was the 'sabha' for the day. The arrangements were par excellent and the generosity of our host was something I shall never forget for life. A quick breakfast of idlis with chutney followed by tea and then the concert began.

The concert in itself is worth mentioning for the simple fact that it was the first chamber concert I attended. There was rapt attention. For an artiste, I think the most satisfying thing about any performance is the quality of your audience .It brings out the best in you. Maami sang 'Nagaswaravali','Bhairavi',an RTP in 'BrindavanaSaranga','Yaman kalyani'. After the concert, was the usual thanks note, the chit chat amongst rasikas. I was so happy to meet my friend from orkut who had come from Calicut.

The lunch was a typical Kerala 'yele saapadu'. I love that cuisine and I must have looked silly eating away all those with gracious second helpings, but who cares ? Music and food go together and sometimes each surpasses the other( Chennai December season is proof enough!) Then I buzzed off to sleep for an hour of so.. the room was a silent one with chirpings of birds heard now and then,I must have dozed so deep that I got some dreams too..

Maami then suggested a music class,right there!! I was so so thrilled and said 'yes' almost involuntarily. I had got the same brilliant idea too but refrained for the fear that she could be tired. She surprises surely!! The "music notebook" not being there, it was a little different from the customary class, but wonderful nevertheless.

We sang the 5 raga javali 'Panchabanudu napai'( I must confess I get this one right:) ) and then she taught me 2 new ragas - Janaranjani and Vasantabhairavi and ofcourse grand old Shankarabharanam. What an experience this was!! The serenity of the place brought out the best concentration in me and I can hum these ragas very well now in such a short span of time..

Evening came and we had to board a train back. Dinner of dosas,light and fluffy, my mouth waters .. :) and then drive back to Tirur. One the way we were held up by some procession,a really big one.Thanks to the 'kind tone' of our driver,who requested in chaste Malayalam(I guessed it was chaste because I could not make out a word and he kept rolling his tongue a lot :) :)) to the processed (is this the word or should I say "the posessed") to give us the way as we had to catch a train,,we reached just in time!!

In the train we had a jolly talk for sometime and off dozed again. When I woke up, it was 6 AM and the familiar sight of high-rise-on-the construction apartments told me we were near Bangalore. Life was to get back to normal in a few hours..

Another day had begun, another couple had passed.. As someone rightly said 'far away in the sands of time, memories of an other day shall haunt me forever' was ringing in my head while I carried those bags from platform 3 to 1...

good morning bangalore...

2007-02-23T05:59:00.000+05:30

got up early today after a long gap (that shows how lazy I have become ).. hope to continue this consisently.. consistency is my problem here... chatted with S..it is the damn discipline in my life that is badly needed.. the difference between me and any winner I see around me is discipline....

feeling great..

things i need to give up.. ( as in things ...)

1. TV
2. TV
3. TV
....

the morning rays of the sun beckons me..

Form is temporary class is permanent

2007-02-22T18:12:00.000+05:30

learnt this in web designing,yes am NOT talking about the quote. Nevertheless this is a loose comparison to writing direct html versus writing Cascaded style sheets(CSS). The former resembles 'form' (after all html forms are html!!)
and the latter 'class' (litrally stylesheets have classes in them)

Writing CSS is far better compared to writing just html all over the place. CSS is stylish and logical way of grouping while just html is just html....

learnt this today...

my fear of web designing is reducing gradually LOL!!

On being 'Castaway'

2007-02-21T08:53:00.000+05:30

a friend popped a question 'you have become 'castaway' for a while. The word 'Castaway' was ringing in my mind, images from the movie 'Castaway' flashed across the silver screens of my mind and then I spent good 2 hours last night watching that movie for the nth time probably.

Every scene in that movie is worth its weight in gold. I'm sure there are better movies than that which I have not watched ,but I dont intend to compare. I shall take this movie for what it is...

This movie has its particular moments and scenes that I love,it draws upon you realities of life,metaphorically woven with an implicit philosophical explanation for those who wish to see..After all you get what you want to see, so what am trying to say here is,'if you think Castaway is just another Oscar movie', go away, right now from this blog!!

Man in his moments of desperation does things that are so totally unexplainable, like, how Hanks befriends the football(?) 'Wilson',for instance. It was heart-wrenching to see him wail in the end when Wison supposedly got engulfed in the ocean.. Relationships,emotions are so circumstantial and many a time have got nothing to do with people!!!

And then the scene about trying to fall to death from a tree high above the cliff is the most beautiful I thought. Suicide is tricky,it cheats on you :) and you thank God for it..nothing in life is more despicable than trying to end it.It is better to go on dumbly, living like waste,with no aspirations,no dreams,nothing whatsoever, than trying to end it,it is a crime...

'Castaway' is about how life puts you in places you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined to be,about how you rebel,loathe,shout,cry,laugh at your situation,about how you learn to cope with what you have,soemtimes how you want to end it all;try and fail at it too, then go on living 'just like that', until you finally muster enough courage to risk it all and dare the oceans,surrendering all you have,be picked up eventually only to discover that things have moved on, changed and you are left far behind...
thats when the 'Hankses' amongst us will surface...

this is what they meant when someone said 'some movies stay forever'...

Note : Suggestions on good movies are welcome...

the red bird, alone at the top :)

2007-02-19T21:32:00.000+05:30

picture courtesy : Someone who shot the aero-show

simple thodi exquisite manodharama

2007-02-19T07:36:00.000+05:30

I was fortunate to listen my guru's 3 hour recital yesterday. Her concerts are like classes, you always learn, everyone has something to learn, no matter what your musical stature is. Yesterday's hero was 'raga thodi at the hands of Neela mami' !! I have not heard such a thodi alapanam ever.

For the musically elite,this is what she did. Most of the sancharas were bereft of 'Panchama', now that adds to a elevating mood when listening. To qualify her concert is not something I want to do, nor I can do, but those 3 hours felt like being in a world where the only language is 'Carnatic music'.

To add to the spice, we had Charaulatha Ramanujam on violin and she is a young master...brilliant brilliant,brilliant.... (she was not so happy with her thodi accompaniment as was evident from her smiling 'not good enough' expression while looking at maami ) Belonging to a music fraternity,listening to concerts with ur 'guru bhais and behans',knowing the performers personally is invaluable.

Apart from thodi,there was a rare ragam called 'Sucharitra' she sang with such elaboration, I wonder how maami can think of such things to sing :) Where does she get them ? Why doesnt my brain work like hers ?? Oh am frustrated at this moment !!!!

The RTP was a mastermind, Khanda nadai,Khanda jaati Jhampa talam in simhendramadhayamam. The ragamalika had valaji,dwijavanthi and mami's fave sindhubhairavi. There was a bold bratty bat romaing over the hall causing rasikas to wince,grimace and get goospimply ( I was the star of that show :) ) but to think that none of that mattered to those on stage and that their superb concentration was intact is amazing.

This wont be complete without mention of mridangam Arjun Kumar. To play for the song is everyone's wish and he excelled there. Mridangists are so misleading, you see them smiling, laughing, shaking their heads or simply sitting and watching the singer, but when they get to task, it is impossible to fathom what goes on inside to produce that kind of music in rhythm. Arjun Kumar is simply this and more. He is his guru's shishya no doubt. 'Mridangam is the king of rhythm and the queen of melody' is a popular saying and he gave us a royal outing :)

The best part of all this is the job of driving around my guru 'Neela Maami'. She enjoys sitting in my car, she loves my driving and she loves the KVNs I play while I drive. At the end of it all, she always says 'May God bless you child with many more things' and thats it... I feel my life is worth it all !!!

At the feet of my Guru,
Rekha..

TMTs for a bottle of cognac :)

2007-02-17T21:21:00.000+05:30

just today struck a deal to obtain some TMT concerts in exchange for a super duper bottle of cognac from abroad, the next time I go ( brand will be specified :) ) what luck!! Cognac vs Vintage Carnatic music wine!!! am i not lucky ??

I regret having born in this generation, I needed to be there about a couple of generations earlier!!
well.. thanks to science, we underprivileged children of Carnatic music are damn lucky!!

Click here before reading...

2007-02-13T19:26:00.000+05:30

Love is not about roses,coffee shops,movies,jewellery,perfumes,cliched college romances,bikes'n gals and babes'n hunks!!

Love is defying age and working in a rose garden to suppliment a poor labourer dad, love is to be old enough at 10 to earn for a living, love is to work to earn enough to pay for a school. For these children, cries of hunger blinds all their desires and they learn to love their dishevelled lives and carry on endlessly..only for the love of living, of life...

For all those who have found their love this year, stop buying those roses, will you ? Learn to love unconditionally every day of the year to the one in your life.no matter what..
For those who have not found anyone to love,love your life a lot lot lot...
For those who got a chance to be loved and refused, remember there is someone in this world whose love is yours forever... if this cant bring a smile to your face, nothing else can!!

Take a moment to think about the little angels who strive to make our life a little rosy!!
Thats the least we can do to love this world we are in...

Love was in the air..

2007-02-12T18:38:00.000+05:30

Finally got the chance to watch aero-show this year, not once but twice. I have always nourished that desire. Every year, I fail to fulfil it but this time around I found a group of like-minded individuals who nourish similar desires. It is important in life to find right company I thought...

Cut down to the show itself, words are not enough to express the exact feelings of watching live, a few of the bravest men on earth today !! I'm stuck on bravery,patriotism,thrills and adventure, thats the way to live life...

Only when we fly past dangers in the sky, we realize how important life on ground is!!

Having said that, flying in itself should be the "passion" for these pilots. The sky, is their home,their work place ,and their gates to freedom. I read somewhere that the moment you put passion before anything else, everything becomes possible. I saw it with my own eyes today. Only "love for their work" can drive these guys to somersault,spiral,twist and turn themselves and their birds, braving all sorts of dangers in the skies above.

I also realize that 'love for work' is the only form of love that gets reciprocated to every bit. Because, 'Work is Worship' and God is sure to listen!!

Lessons learnt :
1. Love your job, if you dont, find a job that you love. :) ( In other words, heed to your calling)

2. Fear is what separates one from getting what one loves.. ( Like swimming for me !! )

3. Some events,like people,find a place in your heart forever.

4. My daily prayer to God.. 'Make me brave, give me the courage to live, to experience,to fail,to fall , to rise, to fly and soar the skies'...

P.S :- The whole world is talking of love,thanks to St Valentine, so shouldnt I too ? After all, I have found a new love in flying :) It is like one of those unrequited ones, nevertheless the feeling shall remain eternally in my heart and thats what is important, isnt it ?

Fanatics in the neighbourhood!!

2007-02-06T15:14:00.000+05:30

The tribunal is a dumb crony of the Union government.
The Union government is but a coalition of Madame's proteges with little or no interest in our country's progress.
The coaltion has a faction,criminals who roam around freely advocating language-based hatred,anti-brahminism,reservation and the like.
One of them is a black-eyed monster who has not only ruined his state but also has stretched his filthy hand to wash away the purity of this place called 'Karnataka'.One of them has now damaged the lives of millions of farmers in the Kaveri belt around Mysore.
Curse fall on all these devils surely.

But wait! is that all ?

What do we do about scores of people in our state, the non-kannadigas, who for all glossy reasons have decided to make our land their home and yet do not stand up for our cause ?
What shall I think these people are ? Hypocrites? Yes, thats exactly what they are.
These educated idiots who buy real-estate in Bangalore because our city is a lot cleaner
than theirs; they crib about climate in their towns and refuse to leave our land because of our climate; they consume our water,the same water from the Kaveri ;they buy food from our land, yes the rice fields here are also irrigated using the same Kaveri waters. They are the ones who spread filth in this otherwise clean heaven of mine, they who think Tamil Nadu deserves 400 odd TMCs and ask me 'Why do you need so much water ya ? '
(Anyone seen Bengalooru about 20 years ago would agree that it gave Singapore a run for its money)

Politics is a dirty game that pollutes even the purest of waters from Kaveri.
Also,it pollutes the minds of many of these fanatics living in my city in the guise of software engineers, businessmen, service workers, maids, etc speaking a language that is not Kannada,refusing to learn Kannada and acting as if they have arrived only to uplift
our land.

If I were the government, I would have driven out all such fanatics from here, today, right now and for good!!

Absolution in moments

2007-02-05T10:48:00.000+05:30

Some events in life change the way you think. The event itself could be trivial but the associations will last long, forever. It influences one in a very profound manner.It is virtually impossible to exemplify or chronicle such events.Because whatever you say or write always falls short of what you feel.And sometimes by explaining, you take away the real depth of what you feel. As someone said,'nothing can take away the way I feel for u' in a different context though.

One such experience over the weekend.

Absolute Silence ,Absolute Freedom... to feel these is to feel life.
Even if the feeling is momentary, it is worth every miniscule of that moment.

Let life live itself...

2007-02-02T20:36:00.000+05:30

Who am I ?
What is a job ?
Why is home a home and office an office ?
Who are these people around me ?
Why does Friday mean happy and Monday sad ?
Why is it that soemtimes strangers understand me better than people who know me ?
(or do I think they know me ?)
Why does it hurt sometimes thinking of someone ?
Why do memories make me happy yet sad ?
What is my family and what do they mean to me ?
Why does it worry when mom is not well ?
Why does Dad wait for me at the gate everyday when I get back from work ?
When am unwell, why does sis call every 1 hour while some people dont even bother ?
Why do I age ? Why couldnt I stay young forever ? Why is my age so important to people ?
Why shud my head throb in pain when am stressed ?
Why does the heart beat faster when I see something beautiful and magnificent ?
Why do some conversations make me want to soar high and fly and some make me want to start all over again ?
Why am I paid so much for doing this job while a
poor house-maid strives 7 days a week to earn 1/15th of what I do ?
Why am I single at 31 ? ( thanks to some ppl ,am asking this question myself !!)
Why does not being able to sing hurt so badly ?
Why does one line of hindolam sound like heaven ?
Why does witnessing a dead body make me philosphical ?
Why does rasam taste so good when I have fever ?
Why does it feel so good after coming from a swim ?
Why is it that life is beautiful and painful ?
Why do people call me 'Rekha'? What is in my name ? Why do I care ?
Why is it that when I smile everyone hover around but when I cry everyone stays away ?
Why should I always struggle for small,little things too, while some people sit pretty and things come knocking ?
Why should luck not favor me once ?
Why should I always be careful, calculated, regulated and abiding ?
Why should a mistake from me cause damage worth years of my youth ?
Why should I laugh or cry at all ?
Why should I have an opinion ?
Why should my thoughts matter to this vast vast universe ?
If I were to leave this world today, would it matter ?
If I cease to work,would my office close down ?
If I stop being a friend, would my friends care ?
so......
what is this all about ?

Many such questions in mind for the last few days. My Answer :- Because I want them that way!! My answers are always what I want them to be. To "think more" means more "inhibition", so from today onwards I risk the life of not "thinking too much" and giving life a damn chance to live itself...

( Inspired by a heart-to-heart talk with Sundari...thanks my dear for a few precious momentsof ur worthy life)

she is deaf but I dint listen...

2007-01-28T22:25:00.000+05:30

ever tried talking to a completly deaf person ? my first experience today :) . My ex-maid came down on a courtesy visit . She is an old woman and grows deafer by the day... she must have reached deafness level 100% today. well, what an experience that was.. all I can tell u is that at the end of my animated, loud conversation with her,I felt my lungs would burst open and all oxygen inside spill over her face !!
At the end of it all, I remembered one thing my grandpa used to say 'never shout to a deaf person,go closer to them and speak in a normal tone'. Grandpa, you are always right...well almost always...I dint listen to ur advice.

Conspiracy thoeries and Cosmic effects...

2007-01-27T14:01:00.000+05:30

Picked up Robin Sharma's 'The Monk who sold his Ferrari' yesterday from Landmark. Believe me when I tell you I have been evading this book for its gyaan-giving-content ( I sometimes loathe such books ) till now. It is easy to get bored with such books. Size does matter!! Somehow the fatness of such books coupled with my own self(over ??) confidence that I know all these things :) has kept me away from this one. As they say( as the book says ), when something has to happen, the entire universe will conspire to make that happen..( I love the word conspire here ) I noticed this book for the first time in the payment counter ( funny that I had picked up 'Europe on Shoe-string' originally) and something in me ( a subconsious urge it must have been !) just grabbed this and got it billed. I think I was destined to read this one and the universe consipired eh ? ( Coincidence-theory pundits,go away,go away..:) just kidding, you might wanna try and stress test ur beliefs with this book ? )

In life, everything we 'need' is around us(note the word 'need') and yet we miserably fail to take notice. An eye-opener this one... It is quite an art to pack heavy duty funda in a small book of this size. And Robin Sharma is probably the only guy I have seen whose sex appeal lies in his bald head :)
a handful on this planet with looks that can kill and brains that can kill twice over, I suppose..

Where The Mind is Without Fear

2007-01-26T18:27:00.000+05:30

It is tough to not feel patriotic when one hears the National Anthem,it makes me want to be an Indian,forver. To be patriotic is old fashioned and uncool for some :), for me it is a fashion statement!!
On this day, as we celebrate 'Republic of India',it is worth the time taken to remember the great man's immortalised offering...

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow
domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the
dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought
and action--
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

-Rabindranath Tagore

P.S :- Let us vow to do our bit..

single at 31....

2007-01-23T11:28:00.000+05:30

some idiot ( who is all of 23 years ) is stupid enough to ask me why am single at 31 :) he also wants to know how tall am,as if that matters to his existence :) I pity all these young things who have not much to do in life..
At 23, I was sensible enough not waste time sending crazy messages to strangers asking them why they were single at 31!! I had better ideas for my life dude.Today when am 31 ( that must be 'old' for you guys right ? ) , my decisions then,have made me what am and I have absolutely no regrets understand ?

maybe I hate men?
maybe I did not do the right things to get a guy to marry me when I was 23 ?
maybe I was too busy making mistakes ?
maybe I was too honest and emotional ?

dude, does that answer your question ? i really pity you!!!
now shut up and go get a life..when you are 31, I shall ask you some questions, prepare yourself to answer them ok ?

random thoughts on Monday morning....

2007-01-22T12:00:00.000+05:30

felt bored to come to work..esp when weekend was cozy and nice at home...
bought a new cellphone Samsung.. all flashy and colorful but I miss my Nokia..nothing is more sophisticated than simplicity for sure :)
heard a keeravani RTP of Unnikrishnan on the way to work..simply superb..Unni's music is nostalgic, pity his music got overshadowed with playback singing..
on a saving spree now, this damn cell phone skewed it up a bit...dreams of Europe in distant corners of the mind.. this year my predictions say i shall travel places.. now thats what I call user-friendly predictions..
my finances in order.... trying to sell some stock but greed is overtaking me all the time... :)

The hero of Vallam...

2007-01-19T14:32:00.000+05:30

I'am talking about Vallavarayan Vandiyathevan, warrior of the Vana clan from ThiruVallam('Thiru' in Tamil means 'sacred','respected' etc),the hero whose valour,sword and lance takes him places...
Hear the glory of the Chozhas through his descriptions, see the beauty of 'Ponni' and her tributaries through his eyes, watch the majestic forts and palaces in Pazhayarai, Thanjavur on his horse, get lost in secret dungeons of the Thanjavur palace, fight warriors hidden in dark corners of the palace,meet beautiful women like Nandini Devi who can bewitch you with witchcraft and magentic,sensual beauty or fall in love with the one and only 'Kundavai', intelligent smart and beautiful-hearted princess among the Chozhas!!, overhear a conspiracy for the throne, forces fighting in Eezham, spies roaming around like astrologers,saints and picking fights,a wicked magician,wicked commanders who double-cross their beloved king, a mendicant prince - a Siva devotee's sudden wish to reign,ancient Tamil wars of Pandyas and Chozhas,Rashtrakutas and Pallavas,the magnificent temple gopurams, music and dance - kuravai koothu, trance and mediums fortelling the royal destiny, poetry of those ages, kings and their numerous wives and concubines, a gypsy girl in love with the prince, a prince who is the darling of the kingdom - 'Ponniyin Selvan' Raja Raja Chola the Second.

Our hero from Vallam traverses all these and more and you will be transported to that magical era;he weaves stories like those in Kanchipuram weave a pattu saree, resplendent and colourful...

It is a must read for those of us who are interested to go back to South Indian history..

P.S :-For those of you who wish to read this book.. 'Ponniyin Selvan' penned by Kalki Krishnamurthy in Tamil also has an English translation by Karthik Narayanan, available in all leading book stores in 5 volumes - a magnum opus indeed :)

Your dearest wish will come true...

2007-01-18T21:18:00.000+05:30

my orkukkee for the day this one. I hate such ones.I prefer the ones like I had a couple of days ago, on the lines of 'something bad bypasses you' ,'you will be successful', 'you will be wealthy in your old age' kinds...
Today's one makes me weak, gives me false hopes, puts me back to the state of mind that I keep trying to run away from everyday. Every time, the transition hurts and badly too.. When one fights one's battles ,the last thing one needs is an opponent who tries to ensnare into a 'chakravyuah' - the maze out of which you cannot escape. You would rather have a strong opponent who fights you, hurts you and kills you fighting you face-to-face.
Some battles go one forever, mine shall until I fall forever... till that time, my wishes need to be just encouraging enough for me to fight. The day I stop fighting, I shall wish 'Let my dearest wish come true' for then I can afford to become weak, to give up all and run away from this mad world, to a faraway place which has but NOTHING in it...

you don't wanna be me now....

P.S what i need is a dinner, a warm glass of milk, a dose of PGW :)

To the heroine in my life, my dearest Palla..

2007-01-17T20:32:00.000+05:30

I'am on cloud nine today,not just me but all of us in my family.. a special reason to rejoice.My dearest sister Pallavi (in short Palla) cleared her CA final group exam in the 9th attempt.She finally made it and with great scores!! (56,81,50,etc.. if u think this is less,talk to a CA student :) )
Scores that can put the best income-tax guy in India to shame -this is an exaggerated statement but today calls for it. I have seen her study endlessly for the last 6 years every 6 months not giving up a bit. CA is one hell, I tell you. The exam is so difficult to score , it is not at all nice after a point.Most people give up or slide down.

My sister is a fighter,she never gives up.She always has had a business acumen , a keen sharp intellect, just right for the finance job. She would excel if she specalised in Income tax. Her knowledge of the finance world simply baffles me. To be abreast of everything that happens in the market today, to know the policies,understand case laws, know the stock market, to understand most of what P Chidambaram and others in the past have said on Feb 28th every year is in my opinion not a joke.

One look at her exam preparation and you know how she can keep in her small brain, all those 500 odd case laws or income tax clauses, I would just die you know... Look at her work sheets and you see the numerous ways she would have handled a sales tax question of weird complexity. Look at her management science answers and you will admire her handwriting. She tells me she keeps it that way even in the exam answers sheet.. (The pace at which she writes does not spoil the way her writing looks like it would to most of us)

She is my herione, my sweetest dear little sister who today stands tall ( litrally and figuratively)
because of her hardwork and dedication. She is now just a step away from becoming a top-notch
Chartered Accountant, the first in my family!! Today is the happiest day in my life!!

Oh 'world of money matters'!! 6 months from now,be ready to welcome one of the smartest brains...

'Pahaadi' in hindi films...

2007-01-12T17:46:00.000+05:30

'Bahaaron mera jeevan bhi sawaaron'(Aaakhri Khat) gives me 'goosepimples'!!
Friday noon, hungry and waiting for my friends to go lunching, am too bored to work, so I switch on to music india online, in mood for some old hindi numbers, here comes on Lata Mangeshkar's page. I chose this song as I do always first. Numerous songs in film music make use of this raga 'Pahaadi'to perfection. It reminds one of the mountains (Himalayas) as the name suggests.
Every 'Pahaadi' I have listened to till now takes me away to some misty mountains,plains with rivers flowing across, flower gardens in the middle, freshness and nature in summation.
What strikes me most about 'Pahaadi' is how nature-loving the raga is structured. Indian music student that I'm, me always trying to analyse why certain ragas remind me of certain places, people and such,with Pahaadi it is not different. Only difference here is that 'Pahaadi' is so rustic to the ears,I forget to analyse, I stop being the eternal Indian music student and become a lay-listener. I close my mind and open my heart!!

Noida cannibal/sexaholic Koli admits to his crime..

2007-01-11T11:16:00.000+05:30

This one is not going to be nice-to-read. If I use words that fall any short of conveying my exact feelings on this son-of-a-bitch, I consider this blog unworthy and my time wasted. Wanna utilise my blog-energies maximum to spit the worst feelings I have for this bastard. Now is the time for all those really "bad" words to be used. At school, we kids were conditioned not to use unparlimentary language, nevertheless like any average joe, I learnt them :)
Rediff.com reports an article on this today. Look at the following lines...
quote "The source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Koli's 'admissions' during the tests indicate he used to rape and kill children as an 'ego-satisfying habit' as he was sexually deprived and feared that he was becoming impotent. "unquote.
Kill this animal please, bludgeon him to death, enjoy him suffer and die, he deserves third-degree punishment.
My soul burns with anger now.. 'Ego-satisfying' bullshit. Get the fucker to die and watch the fun.
Bloody idiot is sexually deprived, so if he had done what every sexually deprived ass does on this earth, it might still have been common crime. I dont care how many prostitutes he sleeps with, but spare the innocent children, my foot !! Though I sympathise with the beings in flesh-trade ,I'm consoled by the fact that some people choose this profession upon themselves.(exceptions not counted ) So, to an extent,bloody-asshole Surendra Koli can get away with his prostitution mania, but not the child rape.

A child is a precious soul, it is the future of our mankind,it is innocent and sees the world with the eyes of God, To cause pain to a child is the biggest sin one can do. Thousands of childless couples know the pain of not having one, a pregnant woman knows the pain of carrying one, a mother knows what it means to give birth and nurture one. The curse of these people I wish befalls Koli and his mates. Rest of creatures out there with similar intentions, I pray there is a pied piper who can take care of you ,dirty rats of this universe, with your polluting body fluids !! Stinking fuckers!!

For Koli, I dont wish him death by hanging. He must be tortured, cut into pieces and fed to the vultures, no body parts spared, especially not the ones that have committed this heinous crime. Burn him,cane him, bloody bastard deserves this and more..

I hurt for the little angels and their parents...

Saint Tyagaraja's spirit sacrificed!!

2007-01-08T13:11:00.000+05:30

True to his name, he was an embodiment of all good virtues, topmost being 'renouncement' ( of material pleasures). Thanks to him and his contemporaries, Carnatic music survived. Thousands of artistes make a living out of singing his compositions, more than twice that make a living out of teaching them, millions make a life out of being 'just rasikas'.But today, the great saint was made a sacrifical lamb, by us,the very people who benifited from him. His 'samadhi'did not echo his name with love, devotion,respect and gratitude but with what is called 'pandemonium'. Noise born out of egoistical,disrespecting,self-obsessed musicians singing his mammoth pancharatna krtis to absolute violation of melody, harmony and bhava. What ill-luck would befall on these musicians if they just decide to follow some rules while singing in a group ? Why dont they ever think that it is sometimes more important to be silent than to speak, or sing in this context ? Don't they ever realize how bad it sounds when every one of them wants to outdo the other only to let down the dignity that our karnatak sangeetham has upheld for so many centuries ? Pity our music is going in this direction. Would western or hindustani musicians compromise their music's integrity in this manner, never am sure.

Today the spirit of the bard of Tiruvayyaru would have died.. A death,to our music and our self-esteem !!

On this day,a completly-ashamed-of-myself me pays respects to this great saint in silence, for am too ashamed to sing for him...

Sunday lazy planning

2007-01-07T08:48:00.000+05:30

got up at 6.30 AM and did vessels (we have chucked the maid out temporarily),drank a couple of cups of coffee, read the newspaper - nothing out of the ordinary i.e if you consider Noida killings as "common".Basically no politcians fighting or going hungry or kissing in public etc etc etc,Saddam gone, not much for Bush now to rant ? anyways.. paper had some boring classifieds thats all. Even the supplements were not so interesting. Watched the 'Jyotishi' programme on TV. Bengalooru's home-grown Nostradamus ( thats how he thinks of himself !) Mr S K Jain giving gyaan on how every being on earth should talk,walk,eat,breathe, whatever only after consulting an astrolger :) So funny this guy thinks the world is on the edge all the time, big loser that he is!! More funny that he can only predict the past but isnt that a wonderful gift, some sort of seventh sense ?? I could write a complete novel on astologers and their contribution towards ruining several happy-marriages-to be in our society today. Assured of a booker atleast, I would be!!
Called up my NRI friends but they are NRBs (Non-resident Bangloreans ) as of now. My sense of humor is not so good. BTW, am reading PGW - 'The mating season'. Took care of my demat account yesterday ,finally. It feels pampered to think that you earn so much that people are willing to do boring paperwork for you :) Parallel thread running in my head now ... What if tomorrow I dont earn so much ? Who will do my paperwork ? Who will run around for my banking ? ATMs,Credit card companies all stay away from me eh ? Yeah, this thought is weird, but wait.. why would I need any of these guys then ? Paradoxical eh ? Ia'm reminded of the song 'baanigondhu yelle yellide.. ninnaasegelli koneyide yeke kanasu kaanuve nidhanisu nidhanisu'.
oh God it is 9 AM already and lots to do... Sunday is a lovely day, I was born on a Sunday ,thats why :) Lot of thoughts running insde this head of mine, let me wait and watch if any of them are blog-worthy.
Mixed vegetable sambhar cooking at home , waiting to be devoured hot and steaming with papads, raita ;a nice nap thereafter,then coffee and off you go Rekha on your musical pursuits later in the day.

Voice culture - myths busted

2007-01-05T18:18:00.000+05:30

I have attended umpteen voice culture workshops and read up hundreds of documents on voice culture , voice hygiene ,trivia and non-trivia for carnatic musicians. In the last two years or three maybe, I have been on this eternal quest for the perfect voice guide, one which can transform my voice to the depths,breadths and what-not as required for singing Carnatic vocal. People who have heard the worst and best of my voice should know that it osciallates between that of Lata Mangeshkar's and Rani Mukherjee's...ah well.. am just kidding on the former and not kidding on the latter :)
Imagine my happiness when I discover the perfect solution for my voice problems. The coarseness went away, the tonsils dont inflame anymore,grogginess in the mornings has vanished, in short the voice is healthier and ready. Now coming to the solution, the magic mantra that worked is 'Practice'. Constant practice, regular, methodical, full-throated singing, preached and perfected by the old timers!!
Sounds so simple, it does away the guilt of eating an occasional chocolate ice-cream or a spicy paani puri, it keeps the voice toned, fit and ready to sing and sustain. Very few of these workshops really tell you this fact. The workshops and documents should put in a disclaimer kinda thing such as one you see for health drinks for growing children 'This is not a substitute for food'. This one should say, 'Voice workshops are not a substitute for regular singing'. How does this sound for a new ad concept in the field of carnatic music ?

Teachers' year 2006

2007-01-04T17:42:00.000+05:30

2006 was the year of pursuits. The year began with car driving. My new car ( which is old now!! ) had to be tamed and it took me exactly 15 days to do so. Not to forget the hours of driving later on to get used to the damn thing. Nevertheless, control behind the steering wheel is fun. Driving my loved ones around makes me a little happy and a little scared. Fear that a small mistake can be costly is natural, but I'm lucky to have not got into such a state even once in the last one year. My driving instructor Mr Ganesh has been the sole reason for my being able to car around. I can still remember his instructions while he taught me a year ago.
To summarise driving from Ganesh sir's manual :-
1.'Space vidakoodaadhu poyinde irukkano',
2.'Over speed venda steadya po',
3.'Steady, steady the steering',
4.'Gear correcta change pannu regaaa',
5.'ooramaa turn pannu'
I have not enough words to thank this great teacher, who in my opinion can teach anything he takes up well, not just well, excellently.

Come mid 2006 and I met the most wonderful music teacher in my life. A guru who for whom words like 'Impossible', 'I dont know' , 'this raga is tough' 'I hate this raga' is replusive; someone for whom life has presented challenges at every stage ,yet her music stands aloof;soemone who battled cancer only to sing better. Neela Maami,I salute your positive energy. You make me want to be a better singer. And your ever-smiling-crack-jokes attitude makes us students love you all the more :)

The year ended with a swimming stint,an eternal longing to learn swimming was fuelled one day when I saw my niece swim. Swimming is a miniature model of our own lives. I may sound too cliched but look at it this way :- fear of unknown territory, holding oneself too tight to let go, not trusting enough, preassumptions about your own abilities,fear of natural elements,etc are aspects in life as much as they are in a swimming pool. The more I make it sound difficult,my coach Ms Bhuvana makes it sound that easier. It is because of her faith in me, am motivated to go back to those unknown waters daily,trying to befriend them,to enjoy myself and let go.
It feels complete when you let yourself be consumed by water. It probably feels that way when you are loved by that special someone, I dont know!! Someone was not wrong when they said water was therapeutic.

I did not wish this blog to be this long, but no words (read as long sentences!!) suffice to describe my teachers of 2006. I'm glad I met these three people who turned my life in a certain direction worthy of whatever it means. Beyond these three people, I also met some unconventional teachers in the form of ordinary people, commonplace people who unknowingly did help me discover myself. They taught me how to live life without having expectations yet be grateful, to listen more and talk less, to give more and want less.

Someone did make a difference...

KVN on an Ipod

2007-01-02T19:43:00.000+05:30

It is amazing how small technology can get and yet so powerful, my Ipod is proof of that. My Ipod is the largest treasure I have today,contrastingly. Such stalwarts of carnatic music on a small piece of silicon gives me goosepimples, this kind of thought does!! Little did I realize that to load my music is a sort-of- boring task , using ITunes. Shri KVN is the first musician on my Ipod. What a great start! A brilliant raga alapanam in Thodi followed by the classic Papanasam 'Kartikeya' is how I wanted to start my Ipod. This may sound disrespectful and egoistical, but there are some moments when it is better not to say anything or to justify. It is better to enjoy the beauty of 'Subramanyaya Namaste' which by far stands the best rendition from the greatest musician of all times, KVN!!

If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted

2007-01-02T09:23:00.000+05:30

oh what a statement this is.... I got this (orkut fortune cookie) "orkukeee" today. It made me laugh :) Sounds like some God sitting there above, dispatching the so-called "fulfilled desires" based on how much the desires cost eh ? Gods do cost cut I suppose. This one reminds me of Bruce Almighty, I wish all Gods were like Jim Carrey :) . I'm sure mine is a big time cost-cutter fellow.
Ironically, I asked for an Ipod and got one!! Let me try asking for something on similar lines.. For me, the budgeting starts for matters related to the heart , so long as am not asking for those, I should be ok ??

What goes around comes around for Saddam

2006-12-30T20:41:00.000+05:30

I finally believe that God does punish tyrants... beware!! the rest of you scoundrels, out there to destroy this world I live in. your time shall come.. am ebbing with gratitude , new year's time and Saddam hanged.. I hope it is not some fake rumor spreading itself... I cannot imagine a world with Saddam now... it has been almost 12 hours since the first scum of the millenium has been exterminated.. wow.. my world looks a lot cleaner now...

saying 2006 goodbye

2006-12-30T17:20:00.000+05:30

last two days of 2006, I shall sleep late, wakeup late, eat more junk, excersise less, sing less, read less, watch more and more TV, orkut endlessly, cry more, think more negative, laugh less , sympathise with myself more, be more lazy, alter plans every minute, be undisciplined, fight with my parents, say no to everything, be self-opiniated on everything, listen less, talk more, judge people, wont help my mom in the kitchen, order her to get me food at my table, wont call my sister often, wont take care of my finances, spend like crazy , think am the best in the world, be egoistic blah blah blah... because.... come 2007, I resolve not to do any of the above... or lemme atleast try to be a nice girl in 2007.. so 2006 here you go... take away with u all my bad habits .., help me be a nice girl to my parents... I can no longer see the pain in their eyes and their heart.. yearning for a shade of solace and happiness for their little angel...

Ten commandments of friendship

2006-12-28T22:44:00.000+05:30

I wish my friends dont read this blog.. I wish THEY ,MY FRIENDS read this :) The most overyly hyped concept in this universe is 'friendship' , aint it ironical ?

1.When someone says 'I shall be your friend forever', dont buy it :) they mean 'dont get too close ok ? ' Usually these are the self-obsessed people ,to whom being dead or alive is the same thing,am being unkind, but what the heck , am in mood...

2.When someone says 'Love is the wild-rose briar ,friendship is like the holly tree' flicking a quote or two from Emily Bronte, they could never nurture a rose or a holly all their life..

3. When someone says 'When you have so many nice friends, what more do you need ? ' forgive them O' Lord for they know not what they are saying !!

4. When someone states 'A friend in need is a friend indeed', it means 'you must move on with life and when you throw a party , count me in ok ? '

5. When someone says 'I shall always be there for you', he is a goddamn liar, nothing more nothing less..

6. When someone says 'Friendship is more important than love', ask what important work they were doing when you were alone that night and crying , to be listened to.

7. When someone says 'Love of friends', be sure he can neither give love nor friendship.

8. When someone rarely speaks, beware!! he is not listening at all, not now, not ever.. back off..

9. When someone has no opinion on you, he just doesnt care, wouldnt care a dime if the world went without you the next moment, not a tear shed, not a remembrance.

10. Follow 1-9 seriously to avoid unnecessary relationships in life.

When someone thinks you are the 'Phoneix', trust him, he is your only true friend!!
To all those people to whom I matter, thanks for your faith, nothing else matters!!

hope in madness

2006-08-11T11:24:00.000+05:30

storms of madness gatherning on
clouds of confusion uprooting trees of reason
a ray of hope holds a lone red rose
waiting for her last dance
before she bows and crushes
away to silence in eternity
hold her with your gentle arms,
for she waits for you, o young man!

of one's own language

2006-08-04T16:44:00.000+05:30

Poetry in your own language is the most beautiful poetry of all. There is something magical about your own language for each person. Primarily language being the most successful mode of communication, it is obvious that whatever said in your language means the most to you.

Talking of kannada, it is refreshing to speak kannada, to listen to kannada songs, to read kannada and the like. Listening to old kannada movie songs is becoming an obsessive habit with me these days. This is music I have grown up with and it brings back memories of childhood. Not only that, it makes me wonder about the beauty of my language. It feels special. Sadly, I find many localites not knowing kannada and not appreciating it and it hurts.

Associating myself with this beautiful language has a special meaning in my life at the present also. I'm going through a phase wherein changes happening to my thinking, my opinions etc. I'm glad to let go of those stuck-up opinions that I must have picked up during growing up , am glad that I respect people's emotions and am glad for restoration of faith in the fact that 'He up above is the only one who can do something' if anyone can. I'm glad to start praying again. Amidst all these changes, I can say I feel at home when I think of my language. It is a weird way of saying things but I dont expect anyone to understand what am saying anyways..

after a gap of one week

2006-08-03T14:36:00.000+05:30

my belief in so many things are coming back, my faith is restored. Things have started happening again , after a really long time....

1. miracles
2. super natural powers
3. emotions
4. tears
5. LOVE
6. Friendships that last a lifetime
7. hormones :)
8. sleepless nights
9. dreams ( yes.. I get some dreams too )
10. my singing pitch at G
11. hindolam and the romance it evokes
12. hope.hope. hope.
13. Believing in DDLJ
14. Distant clouds,monsoons,mist and mountains when I close my eyes
15. Beautiful sunsets
16. God exists and he loves me !!

onde ondu aaseyu

2006-07-28T09:49:00.000+05:30

Onde ondu aaseyu
tholali balasalu
onde ondu bayakeyu
ninna muddadalu

kaibale ghal ennalu
yedeyu jhillendidhe
tanuvu hoovaagi manavu haayaagi
sanihake baalide
balisaari nee baralu ee jeeva soluthide

preethiya savi maathige
geleyane sothenu
yendu ninnalle berethu ondaagi iralu naa bandhenu
innendhu naa ninage
yendendhu nee nanage

dedicated to the man of my dreams..

Hindolam, Kambhoji and the magic of bamboo

2006-07-26T12:24:00.000+05:30

I have to write on KSG ( read as K S Gopalalkrishnan) and his mastery over the bamboo. I have to write what I feel about the raagas Hindolam ( malkauns for HCM ) and Kambhoji. I have to write on the magic created when KSG plays on the flute. I have to write what emotions I went through while listening to this sweet music. ok here I go...

Hindolam is best played as malkauns and nothing else. If it has no Hindusthani touch then it is no good. Something happens to me when hindolam knocks on the door of my heart.. It is as if the Creator took a large spoon ( a ladle ) and stirred my soul with it.. some unknown emotions lying beneath all others seem to emerge and cause something I dont know or I cant tell in words. After a dose of hindolam, my state is one weird one. I cant sleep, I cant eat, am dazed and simply baffled. Baffled that such magical , enchanting stuff exist in this very nature that has produced some mediocre and very ordinary mortals like me. It takes about 2 days to overcome the emotional surge..

Kambhoji - can I compare you to any other raga in this musical universe ? You are absolute and eternal. I can listen to you for the rest of my life and feel incomplete. Yes, you give me a sense of incompletion , so much that I want to listen more, sing more of you. When dha and ni ( kaishiki ) are oscilating in the manner that is called kambhoji, I feel as I'm standing in front of my Creator. When you differ from song to song and when so many stalwarst have sung you , I wonder , what is it about you that makes it so dignified and aesthetic at the same time. You make carnatic Music proud. My humble request to you, please bless me with your divinity and grant me knowledge to understand your beauty.

KSG Sir, I'm too small to describe your music. All I can do is to fall at your revered feet.