mist,clouds,raindrops,Malnad,Mungaaru Malae and silly me!

am copying DBT,I apologise. I have flicked her blog-story, but then 'Mungaaru Malae' is universal, so am sure DBT understands that I need to write about rains as well :-)

I'm constantly hovering between 'I need to watch Mungaaru malae' and 'I don't want to watch Mungaaru Malae' these days. Firstly, the movie is a big big hit and holds the record for the largest running show in any PVR in India,am told.Great! am happy that this record has gone to a kannada movie. So, it would be stupid me not watching this one,especially when almost all kannadigas have done so.

But,honestly,I have feared watching this movie. I know the story and it is a pretty simple one, almost simple and easy but..I get hurt watching love stories where the hero and heroine don't get together eventually, it feels sad and it works on me big time.

A couple fall in love against the backdrop of beautiful 'Malnaad' amidst the monsoonshowers,(now you know why my blog is called this!),frolic in the rains in drenched appearances,sing beautifully composed 'Mungaaru Maleye' that make me spin, only to part in the end without getting married to each other. Shucks,it hurts.. what a waste of romance! I feel sad and it makes me want to cry. Hence, I have not wanted to watch this movie till now.

So, this silly me sits back and thinks thus :- Whats in a movie yaar ? At this age,you are being so silly...common, go watch it.. blah blah.. Wait..I tell you what ,I can't help it.. it is not the story nor the songs but the mist-clad mountains,the clouds hovering over the entire plane of sky over my head,the green expanse all around,the raindrops that fall on my face, this is what am afraid of.. Silly, isn't it ? It is weird but anyone who has visited Malnad in the monsoons would understand what am saying..

Back to the movie,having heard that the photography is beyond exceptional,I fear watching picture-perfect moments such as these. At the same time,I know that in these very scenes lie my "utopian state of mind". And am afraid of getting to that state-of-mind, for I know,I cannot live there forever. This is exactly my fear!!!

Casting aside my feelings and different-states-of-mind, I finally mustered enough courage today to watch 'Mungaaru Malae' this Sunday. Immediately, purchased a ticket so that it doesn't fizzle out. Now,I'm prepared to smile,hurt,cry,rejoice and what-not at the hero-heroine. More importantly,I close my eyes for a moment and I see mist-clad mountains,clouds hovering about, green expanse all around and raindrops falling on my face. It is worth it, what ?

My Famous Five hindi movie 'A'ces

I have been wanting to write on these for a really long time now. My most favourite hindi movies of yesteryears, I hate to call them 'Bollywood movies'. The word 'Bollywood' reminds me of something contemporary and stereotypical. And these movies were exceptions to the rule and to put them in the same basket as today's flicks is obvious stupidity. Coincidentally, their names began with an 'A' and they leave a mark from the word go. To write about them is a pleasure, a travel down the memory lane worth going back in time to the days of creative genius of hindi cinema.

Abhimaan
Anand
Aradhana
Amar Prem
Aandhi

The above order does not mean an order of preference. That would be 5P5 permutations to order :)- so I listed them as I could tick them off my head...
For simplicity, I choose the bottom-up approach :)-

Aandhi :- The word itself means 'storm' or 'tempest'. It is a tale of two lives bonded by love and marriage but separated by egoes driven by high-flying careers.
Sanjeev Kumar and Suchitra Sen married but separated, he a successful hotelier and she the best lady politican of the day,she runs into him at his hotel during political campaign and old sparks re-ignite. There are moments of their togetherness,avoiding public eye for fear of unwanted publicity,just so wonderfully created and enacted. The last few scenes are the work of a master director. The end is all the more realistic because she bids him goodbye and it very cleverly shows how many a time, a buried relationship can never be the same. Some of best music ever.
Most Notable song :- Is Mod Se Jaate hain(the lyrics take it all)

Amar Prem :- Imagine a handsome man mouthing a dramatic 'Pushpa,I hate tears', his head swinging slightly to and fro and an ironical grin as he enacts an emotional moment with his leading-lady.Imagine love with no tags of sexuality attached. Imagine two torn souls finding their lives'lost love in each other, but never trying to give it a name. Imagine an entire life spent in such a relationship. Imagine 'Love with no expectations' and you have just imagined 'Amar Prem'. The name says it all.. Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore make real-life seem so inferior.
Most Notable song :- The classical masterpiece in raag Patdeep 'Raina Beeti Jaaye'

Aradhana :- Three most unforgettable scenes sums up this movie entirely.
Scene 1 :A handsome IAF officer standing at the doorstep of a simple girl and the girl unknowingly throws a bucket of water on his face.The beginning of a romance leading to a brilliantly filmed intimate scene, a love lasting forever.
Scene 2 :A middle-aged Sharmila Tagore watching the romance of her illegitimate son and his girl from behind the clothes-line.
Scene 3 :In the end,when the son proudly acknowledges her in an officers' meet thus giving her life-long 'Aradhana' a meaning, a completion to a penance she underwent to make him an Air force officer.This movie is an unbeatable classic. A true love story in all facets of human relationships.Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore again, what a romantic pair!!
Most beautiful song :-Kora Kaagaz tha yeh man mera. This song showcased the best voice of Lata Mangeshkar and Kishore Kumar, in my opinion.

Anand :- I cry everytime I watch this movie. The best self-help material in visual, highly positive influence. The movie where Amitabh was competly willing to be overshadowed by Rajesh Khanna. This movie brought about a new dimension in friendships, one that of loss. Fun,sadness,humor,philosophy all of these have been presented in this movie. Most importantly, it conveys the message of 'eternal living'. Truly touching.
Song that rocks :- Maine tere liye hi saath rang ke sapne chune.

Abhimaan :- This movie shall remain my best forever,the top of my list. It so wonderfully portrays professional career vs personal life and the eternal struggle to balance the two in a marriage. Totally realistic. I cannot say enough about this movie. Jaya Bhaduri was an actress par excellence even before the 'Bachan' tag engulfed her into housewifely-duties. Some brilliant acting. A movie that shows to perfection - a universal element called 'MALE EGO'. The fantastic musical end to this movie is unique and commands adulation. Every musical note composed for this movie is worth its weight in gold but the one that stands out is 'Tere Mere Milan Ki yeh raina'.

This trip down the memory lane has been truly enchanting..As I say, some reel-life makes real life look so inferior!!

this monsoonshower is eternal :-)

While the monsoons that we are awaiting are so crucial to the existence of millions of farmers in south India,my blog is useless to anyone! Nevertheless,monsoons are so loved by all, I like my blog being called monsoonshowers...

Am stuck at work, waiting for my manager to call me for some discussion. Outside, the climate is exotic and chill am sure. One rain and Bangalore is back to its cool cool nature. Only I dont want a flu or a viral now!

Today has been as normal as any other. Took part in a big debate on 'Global Warming' with some colleagues. I guess am too overbearing in discussions, I have decided to stop voicing my opinion starting now. People may find my comments irritating, I can sense that! I have this bad habit of interrupting when someone is talking, Oh God!, am tired of self-improvising! But I know am wrong and I gotta improve. With a bunch of equivocal men, a not-so-intelligent woman has not much to say, so I better shut up! Regarding global warming, well, I vow to do my bit to make this world a better place!

Had a lovely discussion with DBT afterwards,I find conversation with women so much more relaxed. Maybe I can sense the rhythm well! DBT is a fantastic lady with brilliance,wit and enthusiasm. At the same time, she is sensitive and caring too. I always find myself at peace when I talk to her. We have so much to talk on swimming :-)

Missed SP today, guess little boy is demanding her attention. It must be a lovely feeling - being a mom. It is nice to feel needed and awesome to be the center of everything for someone. It is simply superb to hold a tiny angel in one's arms and to bring a kid ,watch him/her grow, outgrow and then fly. Worth everything!

Amidst all this, did some work too. Work gets done somehow,maybe 8 years in the same place causes this. I dunno. Orkut craze is going down. am glad, I dont login so much now. It is sheer waste of time. Am coughing away to glory. Cough is body's way of
making your life miserable. Nothing helps!

Something is nagging inside me these days. A kind of need to do something different, to alter the monotony. Comfort zones are so nice but guess I need to come out. Some past decisions bother me - the ones I did not make. Some nag me - the ones I made. But life is calling and one needs to answer the bell. The heart must give away to the mind. Practicality must rule. I yearn to be complete.

Have been off music for a long time now! Guess everything needs a break. As they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. I realize,I cannot live without music. I guess I love it. Am more than happy to be going back to my classes and resuming my practice.

Waiting for the monsoon showers... I need to chill.

Stinking soaps

No consumer market till now has had soaps that stink. We only know of perfumed soaps, each having its own fragrance be it a flower,lime,vanilla,etc etc. But now, we have soaps on TV that stink to the core. I'm frustrated with them now. The point am trying to say is already said over a million times and I know people are gonna tell me 'why do you watch' etc etc. All that apart, to look at it from an analytical point of view,it is highly disgusting.

So what's new ? The same old 'saas bahu',vampish,backstabbbing,stabbing,rape, murder,lies,emotional drawls that dont mean a thing nor bring a tear,everthing has been there for a decade now on Indian TV. So what am I harping about ?

Creative-justice is one thing and I'm fine with seeing something 'hatke' from real-world on TV.Afterall,it is just a soap! But to break norms of normalcy in every aspect of human life is disgusting.

Four cases I present here :-

1.I'm ok to see women plotting against their mothers-in-law,or masking but am not ok to see a mother plotting against a daughter and vice versa. I'm not ok to see a mom saying to her daughter 'ghar se baahar nikaaldhoongi' or 'tumhaaraa jeeena haraam kardoongi' Why because,no mom on earth will ever wish this of her daughter. No matter how hard a mom is, she cannot be an enemy. She wouldnt want you out of the house because she knows about the big bad world out there! :-) How can a mom be so un-mom like ?

2. I'm ok to see a bitchy woman going about on her immoral acts on screen but am not ok to see her sleeping around with every man available and having babies with all of them and all those babies plotting against her finally! Because with every man you sleep just once,you don't make a baby :-) Not all the time! Nature doesn't let you!!

3. I'm ok to see a physical assault but am not ok to see every man (in the soap) getting suspected of raping the heroine. Because every man does not think that way all the time with just one girl. It just doesn't happen,not even once!

4. I'm ok to see clandestine disappearing acts and dramatic entries (spanned by three decades) but am not ok to see someone living forever,someone not ageing at all ,someone having grandchildren and not a speck of grey hair but dancing to old and new Bollywood numbers with the the ease of a twenty year old and worse someone being called a 'Daadi' and looking like a supermodel. My God! Life on TV sux!
I'm ok to see old people partying but am not ok to see people not looking old when they should! Phew! Am I making sense ?

These situations are just an example but sadly our soaps run on these themes mostly. What makes these weird and disgusting then ? We are used to seeing uncommon things in movies and TV so this is just another of those hypothetical happenings, we can always say. It is true,we do have lots of hypothetical happenings , like in comedy shows - the 'Tu-Tu-Main-Main' fights (which no mil and dil ever do in reality) or an obvious chemistry between any two single people on screen (which in reality is rare), so many such things that are not real. Yet, we like them and enjoy them. We always want to believe that these have a rare chance of occuring and we are consoled by this fact that we are connecting to some remote real world, however rare. You could probably search the entire world and get a mil-dil fighting silly using something close-to-tu-main' jargon or hear a love-at-first-sight story from someone real which closely resembles what is shown on screen.

so whats different about the four cases above ?

The difference is 'these dont happen even once'. Not even a rare probable case.Thats what make them stink. The are utterly nonsense. And most importantly they defy the very cause of what thy are intended for. And that is STUPID in big bold!! No one want s to see stupidity,I dont mind being taken for a ride but the ride be worthwhile atleast in parts. I dont want no ride which makes me feel like a loser. I dont want to be shown something that makes me question the world I live in. I dont want to ask 'Tell me a remote chance of this happening' and get a 'None' for an answer.

And this is why these soaps stink. Because, they have no perfume of life in them! Even if the scent is cheap ittar, it spreads fragrance, similarly even if it is silly, am fine to watch so long as it smells of life. And finally, you cant package garbage in a bottle and sell it as a perfume. It shall stink, no matter what!

The magic of DDLJ stays forever

This is my favourite Bollywood movie,i.e not considering the pre-80s stuff. Call me a mushy idiot if you please. No other on-screen romance has left this mark on my head as this one has. A love-story so ideal that I want to be a part of that movie myself, Too big dreams no ? Even today, I can watch this movie and feel-good again.

Romance may be boring and dead for many people. For some it doesnt exist at all. Romance has gotten a 'not-so-cool' tag with today's youth. Honestly I tell you, nothing can make you feel nicer than watching a lovely romantic movie,(note the words Lovely and Movie) because I'm not referring to those flicks made by aesthetically deprived directors for whom the concept of an on-screen love has little to do with people and emotions! I'm alluding to movies like DDLJ which has heroes and not super-heroes or gadgets. Ofcourse am not saying the movie was perfect, it definitely had its bad shots, yet when I look back, stills from the movie I think does make me 'want to fall in love'.

This movie is the best example of pure entertainment for the following reasons :-
1. Excellent songs,locales and all standard stuff.
2. Good leading pair - excellent on-screen chemistry
3. Romantic moments that gives goosepimples.
4. Mush,mush mush - on a lonely friday evening for a single soul :)
5. Lotsa garam masala too - the typical Indian fare at the end I mean!

Most importantly, this movie gives me the feeling of belonging to a certain place, with certain people,in a certain situation in some faraway moment of time - the existence of which is impossible in my life.It gives me what my life doesnt! While everything in my existence is a remote approximation, this movie gives me perfection, in myself and my surroundings. It empowers me to dream the only dream that I dare not dream! , It makes me cry while smiling and smile while crying.

According to SP( and me too!),romance maybe a subject but sometimes,people we meet in books and movies do appear in public :) And when that happens, I only need to take them from there and put them into the dim corners of my soul,so dim that no one can find them there excepting that little faint light called hope!

PS :- By posting nice comments to this one, you shall rekindle that faint light I speak about. ( I hope my blog-readers understand what am trying to say *wink*)

My dearest friends

Life is full of surprises. :)- Especially when it comes to people. Oflate, I have begun to enjoy human psychology. Observing people is interesting and one helluva timepass. It is an added enjoyment if it is someone I know because it is so strange to see the various masks worn by your own kith and kin and at the same time, a complete eye-opener!! Lessons learnt from people are the best ones.

From people I know so far, I have found the following diversities :-

1. Some I thought 'I could share my deepest thoughts', I discovered, shut themselves off at the mere decibel of my voice.
2. Some I thought 'mature' hadn't seen the world! (funny this one)
3. Some who were in my thoughts many a time, I figured out 'couldn't care less about me'!
4. Some supposedly "cool" personalities thought I was "old" and not worth a second glance!
5. Some even refused to look me in the eye ( I still cant understand this attitude)
6. Some who promised 'great friendships' have never stopped to ask 'how are you feeling today ?'
7. Some don't like me talking to them, for some I'm too loud,some don't like me at all! (under that smiling facade)
8. Some get irritated if I make casual conversation.
9. Some are jealous of my "single-dom" yet wonder why am single at 31 (this is the weirdest)
10. For some, am too cliched, too orthodox and too boring and not-cool at all.
11. Some fear being with me when no one else around. (This pisses me off big time but I don't bloody show it cos I'm reading their minds you see !)

Conversely,I have found some great friendships in people I hardly know at all. It is probably to do with "Me" as a person. So long as I stay "Unknown", it is nice, I guess.

Life shall move on no matter what! Many of these "FRIENDS" shall disappear from the plane of my life, not because I cast them away but because "they never wanted to be there" in the first place. It was only my imagination that I thought I existed for them! As time progresses, I discover the shallowness of these people who never bothered. I figured the casualness of those conversations.

It is time I move from the "timepass" friends to the "real-time" friends.

People who "let me cry" instead of "don't cry,life is going fine for you"
People who say "You are looking good/beautiful today" instead of the ones who hesitate to give a genuine compliment for i-duno-what fear!!
People who say "she is only 31" instead of the ones who say "she is 31 already"
People who say "Rex, you can" instead of "Now it is gonna be tough for you"

I have learnt that the ones who have been there always, everytime, are the ones who never promised anything. They are the ones who have lent me their shoulders (litrally), shouted at me, fought with me,bought things for me,searched a "suitable boy" for me,called me 'crazy', asked me out, ordered me about, drove roundabout to meet me,etc. These are the crazy friends I have who shall be a part of my life forever, not because I cast them in, but because "they cast me into their lives". They love me more than I shall ever know! Because with every passing day, they throw surprises in my life.For them,my presence in their life is not incidental but a divine coincidence.(I love it when they say 'am lucky to have you', feels so nice)

Sandy,Kart,Venus,Pakaru,Chits,Vins,DBT,Moule,m'lady,"Bank of M....",Praps,C-auntie,Arati,AV,VR,KK and AG - thanks for choosing to have me into your life.

an ideal day

4 AM - rise from sleep, brush, have honey and warm water
4.30 AM - go out to the terrace and sit under the stars,sunrise,whatever and hear some silence!
5 AM - practise music
7 AM - cup of coffee with Indian express :)
7.30 AM - help Mummy in kitchen
8.30 AM - Get dressed to work
9.15 AM - drive to work
10 AM - start work ( in the strictest sense!)
11.30 AM - coffee break
11.45 AM - back to desk ( if this can happen after item above, I would say 'I have arrived!')
1 PM - lunch and walk
2 PM - back to work ( as in work and not bloggin,orkut,and GTP )
5 PM - tea with gang
5.30 PM - leave for home
6 PM - chat with mom and dad
6.30 PM - practise music
7.45 PM - dinner and GTP
8.45 PM - off to a swim
10 PM - back from swim, washup, drink hot milk and read
11 PM - off to sleep.
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- I strive to live for this day!! Why am I reminded of that song 'Nothing else matters!'. Why am I reminded of the following lines I read somewhere ?

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
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