To the Wall and his boys in blue...

Dear Rahul,

I wish you bring home the World Cup this time atleast for the following reasons :-

The media has spent so many millions on you and your boys and your families and your wives' families in bringing them to the TV, asking them questions, tarot reading,blah blah, have some regard for that ok ?

You yourself have come on NDTV, 24by7, Aaj Tak and all their brother and sister channels telling all junta in your ever-professional manner, in very many ways that you will get back the Cuppa for us.., keep up your word..remember you are THE HONEST man out there...one of the last surviving gentlemen in the game-for-not-so-gentlemenly...

You have strived so hard to see that your dearest pal, Veeru is included even though playing cricket is the last thing on Veeru's mind at the moment.. With this one,dear Rahul,I feel you may have made your life's biggest mistake!! but let me not discourage you, afterall hope is life and life is cricket and cricket is WC at the moment..

I know and fully agree that your team is one of the best as of now, especially with the Down-Unders being down and under but dont you forget that 4 years ago, you were almost degraded by the simple Kenyans in the very first match and this time around, you are playing our friendly neighbours from the east who are not so dangerous like our friendly neighbours from the west so..dont you dare be over-confident.. ufff...

Coming to the friendly neighbours from the West, there is little chance you will not be playing them on April 15, anyways, am glad it is Sunday and not a Friday :) but that doesn't mean you can give your bat away.. on this front,am a little more confident owing to your history, however it is my duty to forewarn you...

Most importantly, you have to win the WC because Guru Greg, your teacher for the moment,has been paid such a huge 'Gurudakshina',not by you but by the entire country ... and now is the time to give back. Understand that money rules and is the most important commodity in world cricket today (you know it by heart by now!!)

and,don't forget to tell that little guy in your gang that it is his last chance to pack away his enemies-with-the-microphone to the moon or Mars or wherever. If he doesn't,he can go back to his upmarket kitchen and cook for the rest of his life..and then also tell him that if he doesnt play now, he will become 'the little man' litrally!!

Finally, remember that lots of Gods and Godesses up above are also helping you this time.. especially with all the bribes they have been getting, it would be stupid and un-Godly to not respond,wouldn't it ? So,use that to your advantage, don't forget to bribe them before you pick up the bat and walk into the stadium...ask your boys to do the same too,it helps you know when everything else fails...

Some do-s and dont-s for you personally (as if all this isnt enough)
1. Don't bite your nails no matter what.. it is a bad habit..
2. Don't keep that 'about-to-weep' face when Inzi is on the crease, learn some coolness from instead.... (Substitute Inzi with anyone else... doesnt matter!!)
3. Don't fight with Dada, he has fire-in-the-belly this time;use it to your advantage
4. Don't do everything Guru says,afterall he is also a human.. ofcourse,you can always make up later by chanting 'Gurur devo bhava'
5. I know you bat well (that's why am writing this letter) but can't you bat faster please ? You are wearing blue and the ball is white, don't forget that yaar...
6. Practise before your matches, don't sit there and swim,surf or ogle at those beauties, they aren't going to give you the Cup...
7. Learn to lead my dear Rahul, No one seems to take notice of you... Your word is the last one,drive that to their heads.. especially that Veeru.. oh how afraid I'm of his abilities...
8. Trust those children - Robin,particularly. I like him..
9. Have you given enough thought to them ? oops! I mean the 5 musketeers who bowl ?
Make it six at times of emergency, the little guy is unpredictably smart in situations.. remember Hero Cup finals ?

Last last one.. when u get the Cup which I think u will after all his hammering, don't remove your shirt and fling it.. you are a criceketer not a male model...

That's all, I know you dislike me for writing this long letter, but Rahul,I'm your big big fan, so you see I'm concerned for you..

ok bye and all the best....

fanning you forever...
-Rekha