Tuesday, March 13, 2007

marriage woes for Liz.. I find it funny and silly...

just read on indiatimes that Liz Hurley Nayyar who married thrice (the same guy ofcourse!!) is already having problems with her mother-in-law.. so funny.. the media would have been one lucky bastard had it not been World Cup season...

Lizzie,(apologies to Jane Austin for using this nickname)
wrong timing baby!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

To the Wall and his boys in blue...

Dear Rahul,

I wish you bring home the World Cup this time atleast for the following reasons :-

The media has spent so many millions on you and your boys and your families and your wives' families in bringing them to the TV, asking them questions, tarot reading,blah blah, have some regard for that ok ?

You yourself have come on NDTV, 24by7, Aaj Tak and all their brother and sister channels telling all junta in your ever-professional manner, in very many ways that you will get back the Cuppa for us.., keep up your word..remember you are THE HONEST man out there...one of the last surviving gentlemen in the game-for-not-so-gentlemenly...

You have strived so hard to see that your dearest pal, Veeru is included even though playing cricket is the last thing on Veeru's mind at the moment.. With this one,dear Rahul,I feel you may have made your life's biggest mistake!! but let me not discourage you, afterall hope is life and life is cricket and cricket is WC at the moment..

I know and fully agree that your team is one of the best as of now, especially with the Down-Unders being down and under but dont you forget that 4 years ago, you were almost degraded by the simple Kenyans in the very first match and this time around, you are playing our friendly neighbours from the east who are not so dangerous like our friendly neighbours from the west so..dont you dare be over-confident.. ufff...

Coming to the friendly neighbours from the West, there is little chance you will not be playing them on April 15, anyways, am glad it is Sunday and not a Friday :) but that doesn't mean you can give your bat away.. on this front,am a little more confident owing to your history, however it is my duty to forewarn you...

Most importantly, you have to win the WC because Guru Greg, your teacher for the moment,has been paid such a huge 'Gurudakshina',not by you but by the entire country ... and now is the time to give back. Understand that money rules and is the most important commodity in world cricket today (you know it by heart by now!!)

and,don't forget to tell that little guy in your gang that it is his last chance to pack away his enemies-with-the-microphone to the moon or Mars or wherever. If he doesn't,he can go back to his upmarket kitchen and cook for the rest of his life..and then also tell him that if he doesnt play now, he will become 'the little man' litrally!!

Finally, remember that lots of Gods and Godesses up above are also helping you this time.. especially with all the bribes they have been getting, it would be stupid and un-Godly to not respond,wouldn't it ? So,use that to your advantage, don't forget to bribe them before you pick up the bat and walk into the stadium...ask your boys to do the same too,it helps you know when everything else fails...

Some do-s and dont-s for you personally (as if all this isnt enough)
1. Don't bite your nails no matter what.. it is a bad habit..
2. Don't keep that 'about-to-weep' face when Inzi is on the crease, learn some coolness from instead.... (Substitute Inzi with anyone else... doesnt matter!!)
3. Don't fight with Dada, he has fire-in-the-belly this time;use it to your advantage
4. Don't do everything Guru says,afterall he is also a human.. ofcourse,you can always make up later by chanting 'Gurur devo bhava'
5. I know you bat well (that's why am writing this letter) but can't you bat faster please ? You are wearing blue and the ball is white, don't forget that yaar...
6. Practise before your matches, don't sit there and swim,surf or ogle at those beauties, they aren't going to give you the Cup...
7. Learn to lead my dear Rahul, No one seems to take notice of you... Your word is the last one,drive that to their heads.. especially that Veeru.. oh how afraid I'm of his abilities...
8. Trust those children - Robin,particularly. I like him..
9. Have you given enough thought to them ? oops! I mean the 5 musketeers who bowl ?
Make it six at times of emergency, the little guy is unpredictably smart in situations.. remember Hero Cup finals ?

Last last one.. when u get the Cup which I think u will after all his hammering, don't remove your shirt and fling it.. you are a criceketer not a male model...

That's all, I know you dislike me for writing this long letter, but Rahul,I'm your big big fan, so you see I'm concerned for you..

ok bye and all the best....

fanning you forever...
-Rekha

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Chinna chinna aasey...............

these are a few of my small dreams...

writing a bestseller that wins me a booker prize(without using hi-fi language or vocab)

Walking in the monsoons along a mountain path with man of my dreams (not fearing catching a cold or a fever)

listening to Lata Mangeshkar's hits all day long on radio (with no commerical breaks and stupid nonsensical RJ'ing )

meeting a person who looks like me, talks like me and acts like me (who doesnt sing like me )

seeing the world by the age of 50 (and still call India my home)

baking a rich chocolate cake and see it getting eaten away in minutes (without the cake cracking away in the center )

gazing at the ocean from sunrise to sunset (without getting a sunburn or a bumburn!!)

winning the muncipality elections in V V Puram (without chicken biryani and beer distribution!! )

to be a mom to identical twin girls (whenever that happens!!)

execute a Khanda nadai RTP in Kambodhi to perfection at the Music Academy (without missing a tala )

to cook a 5 course meal for my mom and dad on a Sunday (without asking mom for salt measure)

have my own salad bar in V V Puram's food street :) ( a salad for Rs 2 )

to visit all the shrines in India (ending with the Shringeri Sharadamba temple on a Friday )

to direct a movie a la Kukunoor style (no frills attached sorts)

to converse in French with a Parisian man (*wink*)

scale Mt Everest and call out 'coooooooo who's there ?' from the top!!( to hear an echo 7 times in succession...)

win a 100m swimming competition ( beat the champions ofcourse!! )

spend eternity with my grandpa in his room amidst his books,radio,box,photographs,letters responding to his calling me 'sonamma'...( am crying now!!)

the list goes on.. but I cant write anymore after the last one.. If God were to grant me one wish, I would want my dearest grandpa back forever...Aja, I love u and miss you like hell..

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

All the World(Cup)'s a stage

All the world(Cup)'s a stage,
And all the men (and no women ) merely cricket players:
They have their exits(off the pavilion) and their entrances(onto the crease);
And one man in his time plays many parts(all-rounders),
....
...
Last scene of all,(the final ofcourse!)
That ends this strange eventful history,(of repeating itself ?? )
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,(of fighting spirit?)
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. ( sans Mandira Bedi&Co )

-William Shakespeare's remix(remake) poem!!

If Shakespeare were to rewrite this grand poem with WC 2007 in view,it perhaps would be on these lines.(pun intended)

The ICC has already drawn up the Super 8 schedule based on ratings so far and as per that one,India plays Pakistan on a Sunday in April and the like. Rediff says this pre-determined, setup is to boost TV ratings,what else ?

Even before a ball is bowled,the last 8 have been sieved out, tcheee.. To think am planning to take vacation to watch these ICC orchestrations suck!! Damn that ICC and the bunch of idiots sitting there who probably suck up to the TV bosses..

The WC 2007 should be boycotted by the other 8 who have been asked play night-watchmen. What a pity,we dont have cricket played for its sake anymore!!
Even the India Vs Pak match raises eyebrows, what if some bizarre reasoning already inplace to ensure Pak loses ??

Two cents for the weirdest reason for Pak losing the Super 8 match to Inda...

how about a boosting beer/liquor sales during the celebrations (in case of Pak loss)
in the aftermath of the match (a la 1996 Bangalore ) thus giving Vijay Mallya enough money to procure more aircraft with skimpier hostesses,leading to a new reality TV show titled 'Big Hoss(tess)' wherein contestants are thrown into a flying aircraft for 3 months with no contact with the earth below, the winner gets a
job in Mallya's private aircraft ? This show could be the next talk of the town and
TV bosses want just enough capital generated via ratings to start this reality show (reality and show are so ironical *wink*)

Isnt this a practical reason for Pakistan to lose in the Super 8 ? Come on, forget that we have been their arch rivals in cricket and that a good Ind-Pak match is a sweet memory no matter who wins..all crap... TV rules and ratings are our Gods....

All the World(Cup) is a stage...

P.S : Anyone with weirder reasoning is welcome :)

old-school-cricket-fan
-Rekha

Monday, March 05, 2007

Flavors.... of an Indian....

Watched this verry verry nice movie on Saturday. Every bit of it is well made. For facts,this is a movie about the Indian Diaspora in the 'US of A' ,in layman terms, 'NRI'. The movie is outright funny,sweet,snappy and comical. No tones/undertones/semitones of garishness(wrong word usage ??) of the likes of Gurinder Chaddha and that in my opinion makes a movie of this kind cool in its real sense..

Flavors deals with, well.. FLAVORS with a capital letter all through;of a dozen odd people,Indian in true core context settled/living in the "land of opportunities" (as told by one of the grad student character here :))

1.a couple whose son is getting married to an American girl and who have made a trip from India to see him say "I do",
2.a pair of friends,a guy and a girl,who,nature has destined,can hardly be friends and yet try to mask emotions of a different kind under the guise of friendship until the bubble bursts,
3.a trio who study their Masters but know they are useless after that too and try to make their most out there,
4.a newly married couple-the typical girl-from-India-married-to-NRI-now-a-bored-housewife and a NRI-boy-just-lost-his-job-after-marriage case,
5.a tomboy who carries in her wallet a picture of Lord Hanuman,yet can drown tequila shots like a thirsty Arab drinking water from the oases of a desert(pardon my attempts at dramatic metaphors!)
6.a wannabe-entreprenuer who tries to arrange his match with the girl in 2 above ( thats how the bubble burst for guy in 2 above :) :) )
7. An American girl who fraternises with her Indian MIL and FIL to-be (am sure we know what this means!)
8. a grad student who is hopelessly in love and out of it,who resembles a typical grown-up-on-Indian-movies lad for whom a girl glancing out of an eye-corner means she loves him!! (I pity this poor guy the most)

Above all, Flavors brings all these people together in 'The Wedding'. The movie is a must watch for its light-hearted approach to cinema yet for its brilliant portrayal of life in USA for us Indians and the emotions of the young and the free in the land of freedom. What I liked here most is it does not in the least condemn NRIs (for I find that damn hypocritical ),yet shows the shallowness of life out there but ends on a nice note of 'All's well that ends well' types. Most importantly it shows that no matter where we are, human emotions are the same - complex and simple,sweet and sour and that Indians are Indians!! (both postive and negative sense)

I wud recommend this movie to all.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

If...

this keeps me going when everything stops....( one of the best poems ever written IMVHO)

-Rekha

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Pre-Budget blues

Today is the annual budget.. I always look forward to it as I try to understand finance and economics. Sis being almost-a-CA helps a lot!! The world of finance is very dynamic and complex. This year, I wonder what the budget is gonna be like. The morning of the budget is usually an anticipatory one,the newspaper stays longer than usual in one's hand :) I heard that tax exemptions on investments might go up to a lakh and a half. Thats good news.

What interest me most though is investment in agriculture and defence. I strongly believe that India is primarily an agricultural economy and that if we dont take care of food production,(includes irrigation,water conservation et al ) sooner or later, we will be importing onions,rice,wheat and exporting roses for Valntine's Day!!,or even exporting software in exchange for food..

At the same time, defence is the most important sector today for India.I'm never happy with allocation to defence sector;hope this year around,with the aero-show and other aviation effects looming at large,we get more money to boost up our defence infrastructure.

Talking of the railway budget,whats working behind ??? "Railway Budget 2007" is the eighth wonder of the world :) I have heard mixed opinions on this one.. Some people say Lalu writes the account books of the Indian Railways himself!! and some say(these are usually students of MBA who happened to listen to his lecture in IIM or got to hear of it!!) that he worked his way up.Well,am not qualified enough to comment, but if it is true that IR posted profits, am damn happy!!

It is however noteworthy to see that trains are getting better and better. Even the small town connection ones. The nicest invention on the last train I boarded two days ago is this :- The toilets have a 'flush'(not a tap!) attached right above the damn 'commode' hanging by a long pipe(that's been there before!),so it makes it lot easier :) :) (we all know the clumsiness of toilets in our trains, dont we ? ) oops!! am digressing,I will write another one on the nicieties and oddities of our trains, am sure will make interesting read...

anyways, one thing is sure about today's budget,it will be vote-bank friendly no matter what! What with INC losing out in many states, they better promise rosy pictures atleast((with invisible thorns)!