Saturday, November 28, 2015

Confession of a student of Carnatic music of several years..

This is an honest confession. I would be lying to myself and to whatever that little music I have been gifted with in this birth if I do not come clean on this.  Carnatic music is what I learn as many of you know. It is my longest association in this life after my parents and sister. Over the years my association with this form of music has been the single most stable factor in my life. Although not a professional singer, the one thing I have been doing constantly is learn. I owe it all to my gurus and Skype :) what would it have been if not for them ? 

But that is not the point am trying to confess today. Carnatic music is imbibed into my soul now and has no chance of escaping, thank God for that. There is always a thread in the brain, subconsciously processing every tune , every melody, drawing parallels, guessing the ragam, the rhythm, almost second nature. But... but, on a good day, and I dont know how to put this without sounding offensive to .. well myself perhaps, but on a good day , I have to admit -  Hindustani music is more more lovely!

So lovely, I regret not learning it to the point am in tears! I envy the voice production techniques, the gamaks and the khayals and most importantly the freedom of expression.  Barring some exceptional musicians, cross over has never been that appealing and that simply because of the vast distinction between these two styles of our music. The vocal technique, the raga handling and the approach are entirely different and any attempts at cross over have only resulted in pale imitation am afraid! Exceptions of course, but a handful! But that is just me, please do not think am being prejudiced against any artiste or musician! This is my confession , not a critic review!

Our music of the south is divine, it  is soaked in devotion and is the ultimate tool I think for a human being to attempt to try and realize the meaning of it all, an attempt, thats all.  It is like life carnatic music is - demands a balance in melody and rhythm. It seeks confirmation, embodies it. It is very comforting to confirm I admit. To accept unconditionally the greatness of  the artist/poet who pre-created song, the metre of the lyrics, the exquisite tapestry of the rhythm, the nuances despite the strict notation and yet to create that small nook of a space where one can fly free with improvisation - is a wonderful wonderful thing. Every carnatic musician is excited about that small niche wherein they can be their own, it is our desire and our constant bottleneck, at least that is where my mental block lies! Of the navarasas we Indians so proudly talk of in art, carnatic music undoubtedly majors in Bhakthi, karuna ..

But that beautiful music of the North, oh what can I say ?  Shringara rasa it is. Beauty, love, poetry, art, finesse, mellow and the ultimate tool for freedom of expression.  Where carnatic beckons a mere mortal to attain glimpses of the divine and sometimes become close to one, the Hindustani form elevates the mortal to a supremely refined human being. It opens the floodgates of freedom of expression. It says - "here is this empty canvas, go ahead and do what you like! There are but very few basic rules - do not paint outside the canvas for then it is no painting but push yourself to the boundaries of self expression." It is all about making us more human, all about exploring the the
non-confirmist traits we all possess, all about breaking taboo and seeking out that which feels like is unattainable.  It is that added playful touch to a wonderful nuance in a melody or that extra punch to a note to insist an emotion or that fine balance of the voice when rendering thumris that express unrequited or forbidden love or that beautiful altering of the pace in a span of two lines to convey the sense of urgency - everything about Hindustani music is human, very human! It sets us free, uninhibited and opens out the pores that clog certain areas of the pre-conditioned human brain..

This is just me and I would certainly not prefer one over the other or have a bias over which is greater. It is not always about which is greater. Sometimes, it is just what it is. What one feels about a thing. The point is to confess with honesty, for honesty is truth , truth is art , art is love and  music is love in search of a word!

No, I am not going to change my blog's name to Bilawal, it is Shankarabharanam and shall always be but some days I may hear a Bilawal when I listen to a Shankarabharanam and wish I was in utopia!

-r