A Saturday with myself...

today has been one of those saturdays when you come to office to do some pending work and then end up doing otherwise! Infact for me,it has been a Saturday@office after a gap of atleast 6 months, probably. In a way, today was a welcome change. Office on a weekend is a haven of peace and quiet, except for the humming of the machines and handful of souls around. The AC is switched off and somehow the environment exudes warmth (sans the AC perhaps ? ) and one feels cozy. Infact, if I could get myself to work today,I could have got done quite a bit. But,am a lazy,dreamy bum!!

Anyway,I just browsed through some database documentation and then went about doing the one dreadful job,that is still pending, and that is, copying over music to my IPOD using Itunes ( read that as pain in the a**). I have accumulated so much of legacy carnatic music on my office PC and it needs to be archived over. But the very thought of Itunes, used to make me postpone this activity until, Anand,my friend whom I can never thank enough,shoved about 60 odd concerts of the great MDR, in one shot at that! So now, the need to archive is pressing and thats why am here today.

All day long, I have drunk the nectar of good old carnatic and hindustani music, it feels as if I have had a double meal. Started out with Lalgudi tillanas, proceeding to KVN (as always KVN is a daily affair!),MDR and a bit of DKJ in my car as I drove to attend music class inbetween. I also had a sudden craving for hindustani music which got me to listen to Ustad Rashid Khan! His voice is pure Scotch,his style is out of this world. Malkauns and Bhairavi thumris and a dadra in Pahadi and am in heaven. Not to forget DKJ's 'Agnyatha Bhakthi rasam' viruttam in Ragamalika in praise of Goddess Kamakshi, perfect timing for Navratri,this one! I simply love the way DKJ renders the line 'Kamakshi Naiva Thava Kaanchathi Dristi Pathaha' in Bilahari and then goes on to sing bilahari at length in akaaram, bliss,total bliss, even in the chaotic surroundings of my car on Nimhans flyover!!

Not just classical, I did listen to some golden songs from Lata as well. Listening to old Bollywood songs after a heavy dose of Indian classical is like eating curd rice after a proper 'yele oota' or like eating 'paalada pradaman' after a 'yummy sadya' in Sheeja's home! In short, as the song 'O Sajana Barkha Bahaar Ayi' resounds from my machine on a dull Saturday afternoon,one can't help feeling contentment in absolute terms!

Did I say,I came to finish work ? Oh forget it,weekends are not meant for work!! However,I have been a good girl inspite of all this wayward weekend behaviour,I did manage to understand how Bitmap Indexes are implemented!

I cant believe my Ipod is fuller than it was yesterday. It is still a little over 1.5GB and I have about 60GB of space left. Anand,where are you ?? What is next Saturday, the 20th of October like !! Ok, I think I have no plans for next weekend :)- :)-

PVR,Forum,food street,friends,work,life,problems and answers,cricket matches,shopping,beauty parlor,everything can wait I guess!!

signing off now.. am excited about my house 'Kolu', shall write on Navratri and my emotional bonding to it later. For now, I need a plate full of food!! Curd rice with mango pickles would be the icing on today's cake perhaps!!

The Sanaatana Dharma..

There are times I feel lost,lonely and confused. This state-of-mind which, I allude to,collectively can be termed as "searching for an absolution". And mostly these are times when the going has been good, when the events in my life are in order, when there is no explicit occurance of anything that has upset my emotions or ruined my happiness or killed my enthusiasm or induced any form of dejectory feelings towards anyone or anything, in short when life is perfect, or nearly so! ( for nothing is perfect, let me not claim to possess this absolute)

I venture to repeat a self-conversation with myself here..

Me:Why do I feel this way when everything is going my way ?
My self:No idea.

Me: What are my unfulfilled desires ?
My self: Lots actually but I know it is only a matter of time.

Me: Am I afraid of loneliness ?
My self: Not really, it is a matter of time again.

Me: Am I saddened by that one person who forgot me, that one love I did not get or that one fight I had ?
My self: Maybe,but that is not cause of this feeling.

and so on. Well,conclusion ? None of these mundane problems are troubling me. I have enough grit and character in me to solve, get over or make amends to cure myself of these trivial heart-aches.This is something more.This is an emptiness that exists when when the cup of life seems full and overflowing! This is a question that am sure, has sprung from the inner souls of many a man/woman who walks this earth and has done so in the past. It is not a new one, yet, it is as I stand today, a long forgotten question,something that I have not answered to for a while now. Above all,it is difficult to postulate uncertain and complex thoughts!

As always, I go to GOOGLE, the all-answering machinery that exists in today's world.
Not knowing what to google, I cast my mind back to the current affairs of my country and randomly type the word 'Hinduism'. A plethora of answers,links and information in response makes me happy, for I have got something to 'timepass' :)-

Not even once does my dumb self realize that this was the answer to my questions. As I progressively read one link from another and delve into the mysticism of the 'Sanatana Dharma' and its universal principles, I feel a sense of relief, as if someone has lifted a boulder off me. My mind tries to understand the grand scheme of things,of 'The Brahman','The Creation','The Vedas','The Upanishads' and finally, the resting place for all unanswered questions of humankind,'The Bhagavad Gita'. A sense of restoration of spirit prevails, the confusion that I'm unable to even fathom is beginning to fade away and appear trivial and useless in comparison to the 'wisdom' of those sages who realized these very principles. I'm in awe of how much we have and how much there is to imbibe. I'm in awe of our ancient civilisation, of the society that was centuries ahead of the rest of the world, thousands of years before the calendar was recorded.

Most importantly, am in awe of the set of principles called 'Hinduism' that has remained intact after umpteen invasions, misinterpretation, competition and what not.
My mind is engrossed like never before. I feel proud of what I just did, it is a worthwhile act,to even try to understand the teachings of our Vedic saints..The people who invented 'Sanskrit' could never be fools!

This was a beautiful quote that impressed me from the zillion lines of 'wisdom pearls' in answer to this google search :-

“If all the Upanishads and all the other scriptures happened all of a sudden to be reduced to ashes, and if only the first verse in the Ishopanishad were left in the memory of the Hindus, Hinduism would live forever.”
"The Lord is enshrined in the hearts of all
The Lord is the supreme Reality
Rejoice in him through renunication.
Covet nothing. All belongs to the Lord." - Isha Upanishad 1 -1 .


I'm proud to live the 'Hindu way of life'
I'm proud to be a Hindu!

[P.S:
Question of the hour: 'Which engineering college did Ram attend ?'
My Answer : The College of faith,love,tolerance and all that is good in this universe,read it as 'Hinduism'...]

Glimpses of irony..

A few bizarre thoughts emanate from the recesses of my mind....

India lost to England and India won against South Korea, how many of us watched the losers and failed to notice the winners ? Irony,thats life..

A fly-over collapsed in the busy Panjagutta circle at Hyderabad yesterday,pretty sad...Human life is valued so less in our country,but I have ranted enough and it goes nowhere...Infrastructure woes in IT cities of India - Irony thats life....

Another girl baby's corpse found in Nithari.A culture that has female dieties,that prides in motherhood,talks of sanctity of women still struggles with female infanticide - Irony thats life..

I long to hear someone say nice things about me,a word of appreciation or even a casual compliment,funnily nothing ever comes my way until one bizarre moment when I least expect it.. and then when it comes,it does NOT matter to me..It does not make me happy, I no longer wait for it, at times, it sounds superficial too..
Irony thats life..

Somewhere, halfway across the world from where I stand,a few good souls are still in their slumber,or have they woken up so early ? Them,with whom I spent a little more than a week and yet,felt as if I had known them since times immemorial made a huge impact to my life though I had little in common, in contrast to a few of my own people,with whom I had a lot in common and yet,nothing to relate to..
Irony-thats life...

A new day begins,filled with promises and excitement, but, I think about the days gone by,wishing I went back to this day last month,a crazy day that was,when I just jumped into the next train to Edinburgh,not knowing the why-what-how of my purpose of getting there..

The human mind always craves for things it does not have,shades of irony here ?

Now that is called 'good cricket'...

Am talking of yesterday's cricket match, Ind vs Eng, it has been a while India put up a fight in this manner, is Indian cricket getting back to shape ? i dont wanna say things a little too early..

Robin Uthappa, my man! thats what captain Rahul told on camera yesterday. A sort of surprise, he was for everyone.The bets were on Yuvraj,Dravid and others, so Robin had to just stay focussed and not let pressure engulf his batting. That's exactly what he did, I suppose.

The last but one, a flick towards fine leg was a beauty, a bold shot,that was played with just one thing in mind - instinct,my opinion though,the experts might have a theory! And when victory seemed just over the horizon,his answer to a full toss delivery giving India the one-run lead was what I term as 'excellent cricket'!!
Fortune favors the brave,perhaps ??

I only hope they don't ruin Robin's career now by sending him at 6-down all the time. Not another Pathan, please! Robin is an opener,so let him be. Especially now,his morale should be high enough for him to open well. India needs a strikesman, an intelligent version of Veerendra Sehwag, Robin is my bet for that!

Not to forget Sachin and Saurav. They played like they were in their teens! Indians are learning to fight, to chase ,which has been our weak area for decades now. The 7 batsmen decision was finally correct!

To talk of the English team, well,Staurt Broad is a guy to watch out for. The lad has an attitude and he bowls well. Very confident. Saurav should not have gotten out at his hands,not after the spat!! But then India won, so it is all ok...

One thing is certain,The Indians,are slowly coming out of the disaster called 'Chappell era',one more thing is certain, the English are trying to ape the Australians,are we seeing another Ashes here ?

Whatever,another can of Irn Bru down! just one more to go...saving that for Saturday, the big game at Lords! Hope India wins, hope Sachin scores that evading-century,for this could possibly be his last series on British soil..

Nothings on a Friday afternoon...

'Akhiyon main tu bas jaa,akhiyan mein bandh karloo' (roughly translates to 'Dwell in my eyes and let me close them' - gawd translating Hindi to English sucks! ) from the movie 'Chandni' is playing on my comp right,I get lost into my world,you can see me lying carelessly in my chair now,a typical post-lunch posture.I glance around for diversion,my eyes drift to those pieces of beauty on my board-I can see myself in Edinburgh,around lakes and mountains of Scotland,there I go again!!...no I don't need to get emotional now,so I glance away,everything is boring today at work..most of my friends gone - some gone away, some did not turn up,some quit! Oh yes, I always have my company's "social mailing list" for interesting stuff,can always go there and get a good laugh or two. I open my inbox and look for funny,interesting,weird things my colleagues have to say.. one thing that holds my attention is a thread on how unhappy people are with the lunch served at the cafeteria.. happens all the time.. people are obsessed with food..the curry is not fine, the vegetables are dry, the pakoras are oily,the list goes on..I find these things damn funny..there is talk of a food committee which has been going on ever since the Big Bang happened :-) otherwise some general stuff...I need to get back to work,one last glance at picture perfect postcards from Scotland and I go back.. back to my world of business applications and plsql code..
'kismat se tum hamko mileho, kaise chodenge...yeh haaath hum na chodenge..',a melody from Pukaar(2000) of Anil Kapoor,Madhuri fame plays now. A R Rahman knows how to make filmy tunes from a carnatic raga like 'Abheri' the best!!

visuals from the misty curtains of time..

a sparkling river,a sandy beach...
a cloudy sky,a blazing sun...
a peaceful silence,a sound of music...
a short walk,a long climb...
a little hillside,a misty mountain...
a bowl of soup,a spicy curry...
a ferry boat,a sunken ship...
a small story,a big drama...
a mischievous grin,an embarassed smile....
a haunted castle,a thatched hut...
a jogger's sprint,a sniper's crawl...
a meaningless conversation,a remarkable comment...
a smile of sadness,a tear of joy...
a known stranger,an unknown friend...
a book on a couch,a drink in the pub...
a sense of tradition,a wild nonsense thing...
a large expanse of space, a wee moment in time...
a loud chat with everyone, an unspoken word with someone...
a place where everything ended, a place where everything began...

... a lot of things don't matter anymore..

Common man - only in the cartoon ?

India Inc is probably the most used word in today's media. India is happening and developing at such a rate that the world is noticing it.As a proud Indian ( you could read that as patriotic also, not in the real sense of freedom struggle patriotism though),it makes me happy. Yet,I keep questioning myself, 'Why is life a struggle for the common man even today in India ?'

The word 'Common man' penned after RKL's famous cartoon series has become an entity, unwanted by India Inc. After a month of staying away from home, my powers of observation of my surroundings has suddenly increased by a factor of 20. What was earlier just a passing glance at an overflowing corporation garbage bin,today is a point of observation. A long queue in a government office which was an expected thing yesterday and hence did not require any intellectual interference,today is a mental excersise. Many such examples and am convinced that the 'common man' of India is slowly losing his peace. His life is still a struggle.

The world's biggest democracy, the most emerging market today, yet reports people dying of starvation in Bihar,of farmers commiting suicides in Andra,of floods taking lives in Orissa,of shortage of food, lack of basic education, health,terrorist attacks in parks and gardens,the list goes on...

While the rupee is gaining strength against the dollar and software exports increasing exponentially sound promising,tomatoes at Rs 20 a kg ,meat at Rs 200+ and toor dal at Rs 50+ is definitely not a good sign of internal progress. The former shows how happy 'India's new rich' are ( are they really ?) while the latter concludes that 'Common man' still has a daily struggle to survive.Well,one thing leads to another and there can be scores of peripheral effects of basic infrastructure this country claims to its credit,some good some bad but the one thing that is certain is the difficult state of the ordinary folks of this vast country.

I'm no authority on this country's administration,but I strongly feel that what India needs today is a complete makeover of its socio-econimical structure. Human life, for starters ? We must learn to make a big deal for every life that breathes here, no we don't do that! We Indians don't value 'quality of life'. Also,death is a common occurance and it does not need so much thought is what every system here thinks. No wonder we have blasts every 6 months across the country, so many accidents, lives lost in calamities and alike, people dying of hunger, neglected medical aid,etc.
Only when we realize that life is more important, shall we then come up with systems and subsystems that will try to safeguard and preserve every one of us. Only then shall we think about farmers,teachers, doctors, etc and not just about software engineers..

I would like to see RKL's 'Common Man' as happy too...