I have to tell this encounter I just had, half-an hour ago. I took an auto to work today as I had left my car at office last night. I waited for about 20 mins for an auto, very unusual in my area I thought as I was waiting,but in retrospect,I think I was destined to get into this auto KA05-3952 something. You will soon know why.
I left home in not-so-good a mood having had a counselling session with my mom on the usual-holy matrimony,what else!! As I sat in the auto, my mind was pre-occupied with so many confusing thoughts and emotions,I sometimes wonder why I haven't got accustomed to,it has been years now.. oops am digressing..well,I was preoccupied and a few involuntary tears were trying to escape my kohl-lined eyes in desperation.
Suddenly,I hear a voice asking me 'what time is it ?'. It was the auto-driver asking me for the time. I replied promptly, '10.40'. He then says 'I had to go and get an injection at 10.30 and have been trying to accumulate enough money for it since morning'. The tears stood still, they decided to stay back in my eyes when they heard this. I asked him 'what for?' He told me he had blood cancer and was diagonised a week ago. He ran his hand over his forehead indicating 'fate',whatever. I did not know what to say,what to believe.Could this be a guy who was playing a trick to get some extra money ? I don't know! He then says,'I haven't told this to anyone but you,I'm also a brahmin,an Udupi brahmin,I quit my job and took this up,I lost my mother about 2 months ago and my wife about 10 days ago.' I was dumbfounded. This man was telling a story I thought, but something inside me told 'No,no one can lie to this extent,it must be true'.It was too fantastic to be true, but I decided not to judge.I was sitting in his auto,having no choice but to listen to his side of things.Somehow,maybe my state of mind or the human in me,I can't figure out, I was trusting every word of his.I had no way of verifying his story though.The way he said 'am also a brahmin',made me wonder,how and why being a brahmin mattered to that person. Was he trying to make me relate using the caste-bonding ? I dunno. By now, I understood that at the end of the trip,I would have to part with a few more rupee notes than required.I had to, I would have anyways..
There was still an aorta of doubt in my mind, and I started asking him questions. I can say,I opened up.I saw less of him as a cheat and more as a human in pain with no one to help.He had no children and he was thankful for that.He had lost his entire family - wife and parents in the last 2 years.He had had a spine surgery that cost him all his savings and he showed me the mark on his back. He also had some heart-related problems and now this blood cancer in intermediate stage,I was told.
Everything was so piled up to be true,I was wondering, but sometimes,life is damn cruel,isn't it ? Why can't his story be true in every sense of the word ? He apologised to me for having spoilt my mood and told me he thought of me as someone close to relate to. I was touched because,I found some stranger trusting me with his deepest secrets and pain, when many a friend hasn't done this. I was shocked to be a part of this trust because it hurt badly. But then,I realized, this man has nothing except faith I suppose. Then he told me 'I have gone to Mantralayam and done seva to the Swami'. This was the final straw. For me, the swami of Mantralyam,Sree Raghavendra, is an epitome of truth and virtues and I trust him one hundred percent.
I couldn't help but believing every word of this man's. Not when, the Guru himself had said so,I felt.Call me weird ,dramatic and sensational,maybe I'm all this..
The Oracle building came into sight and I knew the toughest moment had come for him and for me. If he were an honest man,I knew it would be tough to ask for more money in these circumstances.Any man with integrity will find it tough. For me,it was a question of belief, between truth and falsehood. If this was a drama, I had supported a crime in my weakest moment and my biggest fear was 'I did not know enough'.. he asked me for 200 Rs explicitly for his injection and promised to return it.I simply took it out and handed it to him. I asked him to take care and trust in God and the Mantralayam Swami. I walked into the building and displayed my badge to the security.
I had blindly trust the words of a stranger. Forgive me Oh Lord if I have committed a crime.
(I was thinking about 'TRUST' which my mom spoke about in an arranged marriage...)
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4 comments:
Can't say if he was telling you the truth. We see too many people around wanting to grab that extra buck wherever possible, going to any extent.
Just forget it by thinking that you were destined to lose Rs. 200/- from your pocket. It doesn't then matter if the cause were good or bad.
hmmm... i am curious if he asked you your contact to return the money later. coz if he was honest, he wudve worried about how he'd return. but it probably wudve made his case even more doubtful anyway! considering that he might have seen you shed tears, he might have used the excuse to exploit. but it beats me how he was bang on target with his excuse... maybe that effort's worth 200 bucks! he deserves it!! ;)
whether he was truthful or a liar, it doesn't matter as you gave him money in true earnest.
As long as it is an act of selflessness, you should be happpy.
as somebody said "It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same."
have a nice day. enjoy maadi
You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
(Kahlil Gibran, in The Prophet)
Being able to shed tears for another being's pain is a precious trait to be blessed with. If you have it, I think, you must nourish it.
Maintaining the humanitarian warmth of a heart that's capable of
showing kindness to a stranger, I'm inclined to believe, is far more important than holding on to a couple of hundred rupees.
(Having said that, I should, however, also add: When in doubt, it might help to question yourself as to whether you are being genuinely moved, or are merely giving in to mushy sentimentality.)
Don't trade off the genuinely humanitarian bit of your heart for anything in the world—EVER!
:)
-Russian Salad
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