today i woke up feeling jealous,of some people, some girls, to be specific. I'm in comparison mode. This emotional surge happens once in a while and when that happens, I loathe myself. But am a human afterall.
Why am I jealous of some girls ? Hundreds of reasons.. from simple 'some girls get it easy' to complex 'Some girls get away with anything' ones.. Not many would understand, but thats not the idea. Idea is to pour out on my dear blog so that the 'not-so-nice' feelings pass.. Writing does that to me..It is highly effective in that sense.
Jealousy is a rotten thought,but it happens. And am not gonna hide it anymore. In a lighter sense, if I jot down some interesting reasons why I could be jealous of any other girl, would it make this blog any better ?
1. She is beautiful,men stare at her..
2. She is still young,my God no wonder these guys go gaga over her..
3. She throws her feminine charm and see how these idiots swoon...
4. She has it all - why is God so unfair ?
5. Coming to think of it... am almost like her, so why do I have to struggle every time ? ( this is a commonly occuring jealousy trait)
6. Why cant I ever act coy and feminine like her ? Men are old-fashioned remember, they still want their woman to be the goody-goody one.
7. She shops like crazy, wonder where she gets those fancy earrings from ? for all that, she must have paid just a few rupees for those while am sitting here wearing these 30K diamonds. ( how wrong I was to think that diamonds are a girl's best friend ? )
8. I hate my hair.. dry and curled up all the time, look at her, such lovely straight, silky ones.. I spend so much on conditioners and yet.. she tells me she just shampoes the damn thing.. God... is there no solution for my bad hair ?
9. what has she done to deserve all this ? I mean her existence is of no use to this society, I do this, I do that and yet, it doesnt mean anything. ( This is a stupid one, only a totally horrible me can think thus :-) )
10. A day will come when her beauty will fade, when she will become fat and bulgy.. these guys will never give a damn then ... wow.. how nice.. i would feel so much better that day...
ah... the list goes on.. Now, the real me is emerging..am glad these stupid thoughts are gone. Honestly it doesnt matter to me how beautiful,capable or young another woman is. I know there is someone out there for me, someone whose life and existence makes sense with me. He may be old,greying,bald,fat whatever, but he would be mine!!
Girls, get away please... I wish you all the best in your charm-filled, youthful endeavours, you could never be me nor could I be you.
Your men could never be mine and mine shall never give you a second look..
Current mood :- passing jealousy, coming to commonsense..
Current song :- 'Mere Khwabon mein jo aaye' from DDLJ..
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2 comments:
Your post sounds pretty candid and bold.
Rekha,
Can't help commenting on this one. Agreed that it is a bold admission that you get jealous some times. I somehow am not convinced that it is a 'natural' thing to happen to every one. I strongly feel that it may not happen to every one.
Some one may be having a great hair, someone a great smile but if you believe that you have a combination of assets that makes you uniquely special and if you internalize that, your pangs of jealousy will come down initially and may even disappear later.
Not that you don't know this. I somehow felt that I should say this. Hope you don't mind it.
Sundari
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