she is deaf but I dint listen...

ever tried talking to a completly deaf person ? my first experience today :) . My ex-maid came down on a courtesy visit . She is an old woman and grows deafer by the day... she must have reached deafness level 100% today. well, what an experience that was.. all I can tell u is that at the end of my animated, loud conversation with her,I felt my lungs would burst open and all oxygen inside spill over her face !!
At the end of it all, I remembered one thing my grandpa used to say 'never shout to a deaf person,go closer to them and speak in a normal tone'. Grandpa, you are always right...well almost always...I dint listen to ur advice.

Conspiracy thoeries and Cosmic effects...

Picked up Robin Sharma's 'The Monk who sold his Ferrari' yesterday from Landmark. Believe me when I tell you I have been evading this book for its gyaan-giving-content ( I sometimes loathe such books ) till now. It is easy to get bored with such books. Size does matter!! Somehow the fatness of such books coupled with my own self(over ??) confidence that I know all these things :) has kept me away from this one. As they say( as the book says ), when something has to happen, the entire universe will conspire to make that happen..( I love the word conspire here ) I noticed this book for the first time in the payment counter ( funny that I had picked up 'Europe on Shoe-string' originally) and something in me ( a subconsious urge it must have been !) just grabbed this and got it billed. I think I was destined to read this one and the universe consipired eh ? ( Coincidence-theory pundits,go away,go away..:) just kidding, you might wanna try and stress test ur beliefs with this book ? )

In life, everything we 'need' is around us(note the word 'need') and yet we miserably fail to take notice. An eye-opener this one... It is quite an art to pack heavy duty funda in a small book of this size. And Robin Sharma is probably the only guy I have seen whose sex appeal lies in his bald head :)
a handful on this planet with looks that can kill and brains that can kill twice over, I suppose..

Where The Mind is Without Fear

It is tough to not feel patriotic when one hears the National Anthem,it makes me want to be an Indian,forver. To be patriotic is old fashioned and uncool for some :), for me it is a fashion statement!!
On this day, as we celebrate 'Republic of India',it is worth the time taken to remember the great man's immortalised offering...

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow
domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the
dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought
and action--
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

-Rabindranath Tagore

P.S :- Let us vow to do our bit..

single at 31....

some idiot ( who is all of 23 years ) is stupid enough to ask me why am single at 31 :) he also wants to know how tall am,as if that matters to his existence :) I pity all these young things who have not much to do in life..
At 23, I was sensible enough not waste time sending crazy messages to strangers asking them why they were single at 31!! I had better ideas for my life dude.Today when am 31 ( that must be 'old' for you guys right ? ) , my decisions then,have made me what am and I have absolutely no regrets understand ?

maybe I hate men?
maybe I did not do the right things to get a guy to marry me when I was 23 ?
maybe I was too busy making mistakes ?
maybe I was too honest and emotional ?

dude, does that answer your question ? i really pity you!!!
now shut up and go get a life..when you are 31, I shall ask you some questions, prepare yourself to answer them ok ?

random thoughts on Monday morning....

felt bored to come to work..esp when weekend was cozy and nice at home...
bought a new cellphone Samsung.. all flashy and colorful but I miss my Nokia..nothing is more sophisticated than simplicity for sure :)
heard a keeravani RTP of Unnikrishnan on the way to work..simply superb..Unni's music is nostalgic, pity his music got overshadowed with playback singing..
on a saving spree now, this damn cell phone skewed it up a bit...dreams of Europe in distant corners of the mind.. this year my predictions say i shall travel places.. now thats what I call user-friendly predictions..
my finances in order.... trying to sell some stock but greed is overtaking me all the time... :)

The hero of Vallam...

I'am talking about Vallavarayan Vandiyathevan, warrior of the Vana clan from ThiruVallam('Thiru' in Tamil means 'sacred','respected' etc),the hero whose valour,sword and lance takes him places...
Hear the glory of the Chozhas through his descriptions, see the beauty of 'Ponni' and her tributaries through his eyes, watch the majestic forts and palaces in Pazhayarai, Thanjavur on his horse, get lost in secret dungeons of the Thanjavur palace, fight warriors hidden in dark corners of the palace,meet beautiful women like Nandini Devi who can bewitch you with witchcraft and magentic,sensual beauty or fall in love with the one and only 'Kundavai', intelligent smart and beautiful-hearted princess among the Chozhas!!, overhear a conspiracy for the throne, forces fighting in Eezham, spies roaming around like astrologers,saints and picking fights,a wicked magician,wicked commanders who double-cross their beloved king, a mendicant prince - a Siva devotee's sudden wish to reign,ancient Tamil wars of Pandyas and Chozhas,Rashtrakutas and Pallavas,the magnificent temple gopurams, music and dance - kuravai koothu, trance and mediums fortelling the royal destiny, poetry of those ages, kings and their numerous wives and concubines, a gypsy girl in love with the prince, a prince who is the darling of the kingdom - 'Ponniyin Selvan' Raja Raja Chola the Second.

Our hero from Vallam traverses all these and more and you will be transported to that magical era;he weaves stories like those in Kanchipuram weave a pattu saree, resplendent and colourful...

It is a must read for those of us who are interested to go back to South Indian history..

P.S :-For those of you who wish to read this book.. 'Ponniyin Selvan' penned by Kalki Krishnamurthy in Tamil also has an English translation by Karthik Narayanan, available in all leading book stores in 5 volumes - a magnum opus indeed :)

Your dearest wish will come true...

my orkukkee for the day this one. I hate such ones.I prefer the ones like I had a couple of days ago, on the lines of 'something bad bypasses you' ,'you will be successful', 'you will be wealthy in your old age' kinds...
Today's one makes me weak, gives me false hopes, puts me back to the state of mind that I keep trying to run away from everyday. Every time, the transition hurts and badly too.. When one fights one's battles ,the last thing one needs is an opponent who tries to ensnare into a 'chakravyuah' - the maze out of which you cannot escape. You would rather have a strong opponent who fights you, hurts you and kills you fighting you face-to-face.
Some battles go one forever, mine shall until I fall forever... till that time, my wishes need to be just encouraging enough for me to fight. The day I stop fighting, I shall wish 'Let my dearest wish come true' for then I can afford to become weak, to give up all and run away from this mad world, to a faraway place which has but NOTHING in it...

you don't wanna be me now....

P.S what i need is a dinner, a warm glass of milk, a dose of PGW :)

To the heroine in my life, my dearest Palla..

I'am on cloud nine today,not just me but all of us in my family.. a special reason to rejoice.My dearest sister Pallavi (in short Palla) cleared her CA final group exam in the 9th attempt.She finally made it and with great scores!! (56,81,50,etc.. if u think this is less,talk to a CA student :) )
Scores that can put the best income-tax guy in India to shame -this is an exaggerated statement but today calls for it. I have seen her study endlessly for the last 6 years every 6 months not giving up a bit. CA is one hell, I tell you. The exam is so difficult to score , it is not at all nice after a point.Most people give up or slide down.

My sister is a fighter,she never gives up.She always has had a business acumen , a keen sharp intellect, just right for the finance job. She would excel if she specalised in Income tax. Her knowledge of the finance world simply baffles me. To be abreast of everything that happens in the market today, to know the policies,understand case laws, know the stock market, to understand most of what P Chidambaram and others in the past have said on Feb 28th every year is in my opinion not a joke.

One look at her exam preparation and you know how she can keep in her small brain, all those 500 odd case laws or income tax clauses, I would just die you know... Look at her work sheets and you see the numerous ways she would have handled a sales tax question of weird complexity. Look at her management science answers and you will admire her handwriting. She tells me she keeps it that way even in the exam answers sheet.. (The pace at which she writes does not spoil the way her writing looks like it would to most of us)

She is my herione, my sweetest dear little sister who today stands tall ( litrally and figuratively)
because of her hardwork and dedication. She is now just a step away from becoming a top-notch
Chartered Accountant, the first in my family!! Today is the happiest day in my life!!

Oh 'world of money matters'!! 6 months from now,be ready to welcome one of the smartest brains...

'Pahaadi' in hindi films...

'Bahaaron mera jeevan bhi sawaaron'(Aaakhri Khat) gives me 'goosepimples'!!
Friday noon, hungry and waiting for my friends to go lunching, am too bored to work, so I switch on to music india online, in mood for some old hindi numbers, here comes on Lata Mangeshkar's page. I chose this song as I do always first. Numerous songs in film music make use of this raga 'Pahaadi'to perfection. It reminds one of the mountains (Himalayas) as the name suggests.
Every 'Pahaadi' I have listened to till now takes me away to some misty mountains,plains with rivers flowing across, flower gardens in the middle, freshness and nature in summation.
What strikes me most about 'Pahaadi' is how nature-loving the raga is structured. Indian music student that I'm, me always trying to analyse why certain ragas remind me of certain places, people and such,with Pahaadi it is not different. Only difference here is that 'Pahaadi' is so rustic to the ears,I forget to analyse, I stop being the eternal Indian music student and become a lay-listener. I close my mind and open my heart!!

Noida cannibal/sexaholic Koli admits to his crime..

This one is not going to be nice-to-read. If I use words that fall any short of conveying my exact feelings on this son-of-a-bitch, I consider this blog unworthy and my time wasted. Wanna utilise my blog-energies maximum to spit the worst feelings I have for this bastard. Now is the time for all those really "bad" words to be used. At school, we kids were conditioned not to use unparlimentary language, nevertheless like any average joe, I learnt them :)
Rediff.com reports an article on this today. Look at the following lines...
quote "The source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Koli's 'admissions' during the tests indicate he used to rape and kill children as an 'ego-satisfying habit' as he was sexually deprived and feared that he was becoming impotent. "unquote.
Kill this animal please, bludgeon him to death, enjoy him suffer and die, he deserves third-degree punishment.
My soul burns with anger now.. 'Ego-satisfying' bullshit. Get the fucker to die and watch the fun.
Bloody idiot is sexually deprived, so if he had done what every sexually deprived ass does on this earth, it might still have been common crime. I dont care how many prostitutes he sleeps with, but spare the innocent children, my foot !! Though I sympathise with the beings in flesh-trade ,I'm consoled by the fact that some people choose this profession upon themselves.(exceptions not counted ) So, to an extent,bloody-asshole Surendra Koli can get away with his prostitution mania, but not the child rape.

A child is a precious soul, it is the future of our mankind,it is innocent and sees the world with the eyes of God, To cause pain to a child is the biggest sin one can do. Thousands of childless couples know the pain of not having one, a pregnant woman knows the pain of carrying one, a mother knows what it means to give birth and nurture one. The curse of these people I wish befalls Koli and his mates. Rest of creatures out there with similar intentions, I pray there is a pied piper who can take care of you ,dirty rats of this universe, with your polluting body fluids !! Stinking fuckers!!

For Koli, I dont wish him death by hanging. He must be tortured, cut into pieces and fed to the vultures, no body parts spared, especially not the ones that have committed this heinous crime. Burn him,cane him, bloody bastard deserves this and more..

I hurt for the little angels and their parents...

Saint Tyagaraja's spirit sacrificed!!

True to his name, he was an embodiment of all good virtues, topmost being 'renouncement' ( of material pleasures). Thanks to him and his contemporaries, Carnatic music survived. Thousands of artistes make a living out of singing his compositions, more than twice that make a living out of teaching them, millions make a life out of being 'just rasikas'.But today, the great saint was made a sacrifical lamb, by us,the very people who benifited from him. His 'samadhi'did not echo his name with love, devotion,respect and gratitude but with what is called 'pandemonium'. Noise born out of egoistical,disrespecting,self-obsessed musicians singing his mammoth pancharatna krtis to absolute violation of melody, harmony and bhava. What ill-luck would befall on these musicians if they just decide to follow some rules while singing in a group ? Why dont they ever think that it is sometimes more important to be silent than to speak, or sing in this context ? Don't they ever realize how bad it sounds when every one of them wants to outdo the other only to let down the dignity that our karnatak sangeetham has upheld for so many centuries ? Pity our music is going in this direction. Would western or hindustani musicians compromise their music's integrity in this manner, never am sure.

Today the spirit of the bard of Tiruvayyaru would have died.. A death,to our music and our self-esteem !!

On this day,a completly-ashamed-of-myself me pays respects to this great saint in silence, for am too ashamed to sing for him...

Sunday lazy planning

got up at 6.30 AM and did vessels (we have chucked the maid out temporarily),drank a couple of cups of coffee, read the newspaper - nothing out of the ordinary i.e if you consider Noida killings as "common".Basically no politcians fighting or going hungry or kissing in public etc etc etc,Saddam gone, not much for Bush now to rant ? anyways.. paper had some boring classifieds thats all. Even the supplements were not so interesting. Watched the 'Jyotishi' programme on TV. Bengalooru's home-grown Nostradamus ( thats how he thinks of himself !) Mr S K Jain giving gyaan on how every being on earth should talk,walk,eat,breathe, whatever only after consulting an astrolger :) So funny this guy thinks the world is on the edge all the time, big loser that he is!! More funny that he can only predict the past but isnt that a wonderful gift, some sort of seventh sense ?? I could write a complete novel on astologers and their contribution towards ruining several happy-marriages-to be in our society today. Assured of a booker atleast, I would be!!
Called up my NRI friends but they are NRBs (Non-resident Bangloreans ) as of now. My sense of humor is not so good. BTW, am reading PGW - 'The mating season'. Took care of my demat account yesterday ,finally. It feels pampered to think that you earn so much that people are willing to do boring paperwork for you :) Parallel thread running in my head now ... What if tomorrow I dont earn so much ? Who will do my paperwork ? Who will run around for my banking ? ATMs,Credit card companies all stay away from me eh ? Yeah, this thought is weird, but wait.. why would I need any of these guys then ? Paradoxical eh ? Ia'm reminded of the song 'baanigondhu yelle yellide.. ninnaasegelli koneyide yeke kanasu kaanuve nidhanisu nidhanisu'.
oh God it is 9 AM already and lots to do... Sunday is a lovely day, I was born on a Sunday ,thats why :) Lot of thoughts running insde this head of mine, let me wait and watch if any of them are blog-worthy.
Mixed vegetable sambhar cooking at home , waiting to be devoured hot and steaming with papads, raita ;a nice nap thereafter,then coffee and off you go Rekha on your musical pursuits later in the day.

Voice culture - myths busted

I have attended umpteen voice culture workshops and read up hundreds of documents on voice culture , voice hygiene ,trivia and non-trivia for carnatic musicians. In the last two years or three maybe, I have been on this eternal quest for the perfect voice guide, one which can transform my voice to the depths,breadths and what-not as required for singing Carnatic vocal. People who have heard the worst and best of my voice should know that it osciallates between that of Lata Mangeshkar's and Rani Mukherjee's...ah well.. am just kidding on the former and not kidding on the latter :)
Imagine my happiness when I discover the perfect solution for my voice problems. The coarseness went away, the tonsils dont inflame anymore,grogginess in the mornings has vanished, in short the voice is healthier and ready. Now coming to the solution, the magic mantra that worked is 'Practice'. Constant practice, regular, methodical, full-throated singing, preached and perfected by the old timers!!
Sounds so simple, it does away the guilt of eating an occasional chocolate ice-cream or a spicy paani puri, it keeps the voice toned, fit and ready to sing and sustain. Very few of these workshops really tell you this fact. The workshops and documents should put in a disclaimer kinda thing such as one you see for health drinks for growing children 'This is not a substitute for food'. This one should say, 'Voice workshops are not a substitute for regular singing'. How does this sound for a new ad concept in the field of carnatic music ?

Teachers' year 2006

2006 was the year of pursuits. The year began with car driving. My new car ( which is old now!! ) had to be tamed and it took me exactly 15 days to do so. Not to forget the hours of driving later on to get used to the damn thing. Nevertheless, control behind the steering wheel is fun. Driving my loved ones around makes me a little happy and a little scared. Fear that a small mistake can be costly is natural, but I'm lucky to have not got into such a state even once in the last one year. My driving instructor Mr Ganesh has been the sole reason for my being able to car around. I can still remember his instructions while he taught me a year ago.
To summarise driving from Ganesh sir's manual :-
1.'Space vidakoodaadhu poyinde irukkano',
2.'Over speed venda steadya po',
3.'Steady, steady the steering',
4.'Gear correcta change pannu regaaa',
5.'ooramaa turn pannu'
I have not enough words to thank this great teacher, who in my opinion can teach anything he takes up well, not just well, excellently.

Come mid 2006 and I met the most wonderful music teacher in my life. A guru who for whom words like 'Impossible', 'I dont know' , 'this raga is tough' 'I hate this raga' is replusive; someone for whom life has presented challenges at every stage ,yet her music stands aloof;soemone who battled cancer only to sing better. Neela Maami,I salute your positive energy. You make me want to be a better singer. And your ever-smiling-crack-jokes attitude makes us students love you all the more :)

The year ended with a swimming stint,an eternal longing to learn swimming was fuelled one day when I saw my niece swim. Swimming is a miniature model of our own lives. I may sound too cliched but look at it this way :- fear of unknown territory, holding oneself too tight to let go, not trusting enough, preassumptions about your own abilities,fear of natural elements,etc are aspects in life as much as they are in a swimming pool. The more I make it sound difficult,my coach Ms Bhuvana makes it sound that easier. It is because of her faith in me, am motivated to go back to those unknown waters daily,trying to befriend them,to enjoy myself and let go.
It feels complete when you let yourself be consumed by water. It probably feels that way when you are loved by that special someone, I dont know!! Someone was not wrong when they said water was therapeutic.

I did not wish this blog to be this long, but no words (read as long sentences!!) suffice to describe my teachers of 2006. I'm glad I met these three people who turned my life in a certain direction worthy of whatever it means. Beyond these three people, I also met some unconventional teachers in the form of ordinary people, commonplace people who unknowingly did help me discover myself. They taught me how to live life without having expectations yet be grateful, to listen more and talk less, to give more and want less.

Someone did make a difference...

KVN on an Ipod

It is amazing how small technology can get and yet so powerful, my Ipod is proof of that. My Ipod is the largest treasure I have today,contrastingly. Such stalwarts of carnatic music on a small piece of silicon gives me goosepimples, this kind of thought does!! Little did I realize that to load my music is a sort-of- boring task , using ITunes. Shri KVN is the first musician on my Ipod. What a great start! A brilliant raga alapanam in Thodi followed by the classic Papanasam 'Kartikeya' is how I wanted to start my Ipod. This may sound disrespectful and egoistical, but there are some moments when it is better not to say anything or to justify. It is better to enjoy the beauty of 'Subramanyaya Namaste' which by far stands the best rendition from the greatest musician of all times, KVN!!

If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted

oh what a statement this is.... I got this (orkut fortune cookie) "orkukeee" today. It made me laugh :) Sounds like some God sitting there above, dispatching the so-called "fulfilled desires" based on how much the desires cost eh ? Gods do cost cut I suppose. This one reminds me of Bruce Almighty, I wish all Gods were like Jim Carrey :) . I'm sure mine is a big time cost-cutter fellow.
Ironically, I asked for an Ipod and got one!! Let me try asking for something on similar lines.. For me, the budgeting starts for matters related to the heart , so long as am not asking for those, I should be ok ??